The Purse: Unpacking Femme Privilege

[aishah]

i totally get what you're saying, nomad. and what dance-with-me is saying.

i have privilege because i usually pass as white - i have the privilege of not, for example, automatically being stopped by the police (although i have been for being muslim). or automatically being denied a job.

i also deal with the erasure and colonialist violence inherent in being mixed-race and indigenous. passing as white is partly a function of genocide. it erases my identity and means i often don't fit in either white or poc spaces. but it sure as hell does afford me a lot of privilege in the world in terms of getting through my day to day life.

same with being femme. it really fucking sucks not to be seen for who i am, but i also don't have to worry that someone is going to attack me for my gender presentation when i walk into a bathroom. i don't have to worry that my gender doesn't match my id. i don't have to worry that someone's going to beat me up because they automatically assume i'm queer. (unless i out myself somehow.) that is privilege. that is really really real.

[Femminator]

Sometimes I feel sad that I actually have Femme privilege,and my wife does not have it. We go places, and I see other people stare at her, because she's pretty Butch, and they don't realize that I am with her, so they are quite open with it. I try to show I am with her, to let people know we are an united front, but I get very,very frustrated.