Help me write this - discussion of gender dynamics in lesbian community

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Soon

One more thing I just remembered. I recall a conversation with a friend (lesbian) where I did have to try to explain myself. She was a bit miffed I think, at first, about the B/F dynamic and my relationships. After a chat or two, it was fine and I think she was truly interested and *got* it more. I do think there are ways to have these conversations with the wider queer/lesbian community, and I gotta give some props to Dance as I don't know if I could start or lead a conversation about gender dynamics it with a larger group.

I agree with the props for Dance. Also, I think it is pretty cool that she admits that it is mostly a self serving thing...she is seeking friends in an otherwise androgynous community...rather than it being all about education.

I don't live in the area she lives in, but I know it well. She will be walking into a room of lesbians who will number one not be so keen on her gender presentation, and number two are almost proud of their discrimination towards butches and femmes who date butches. I think she is right that there are probably "closeted" butch defined people in that group since being butch is almost a shameful thing in that community, especially in her age group.

Dance-With-Me, you may want to consider finding butch/femme/trans people by advertising for a butch/femme/trans group, if that is your main purpose in bringing up this topic.