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08-21-2012, 11:25 AM
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#221 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?:
Mine Relationship Status:
I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: To your right and a bit South.
Posts: 1,522
Thanks: 108
Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts
Rep Power: 19646657   |
guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?" |
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08-24-2012, 07:30 AM
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#222 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,293 Times in 5,185 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 |
I love this....rumor has it that this is the song that got him fired from the math department at Harvard
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait  .........Hope you enjoy it!________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work  Click on flashing smilie to see my websiteTo look at my Daddy/girl erotica book  Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
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09-03-2012, 02:53 PM
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#223 |
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Magically Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Gentle Butch Relationship Status:
Single and content 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,558
Thanks: 22,052
Thanked 15,397 Times in 4,140 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of MOUNT & DO
__________________
 Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo
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10-14-2012, 05:42 AM
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#224 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
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10-14-2012, 05:42 AM
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#225 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded...
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10-24-2012, 08:40 PM
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#226 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: earth
Posts: 419
Thanks: 264
Thanked 1,926 Times in 378 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
Required watching for any parent. I'm still laughing.
__________________
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~Mahatma Gandhi |
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10-24-2012, 10:35 PM
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#227 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
Thanked 107,973 Times in 25,664 Posts
Rep Power: 21474888 |
Quote:
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10-24-2012, 11:35 PM
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#228 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Toe curling :-) 
 Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,382
Thanks: 1,792
Thanked 5,592 Times in 1,521 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
__________________
 無料のライブ
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11-17-2012, 03:45 AM
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#229 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?:
Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status:
Happy with my butch. 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Aotearoa New Zealand
Posts: 2,681
Thanks: 25,494
Thanked 9,096 Times in 1,899 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
__________________
happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer |
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11-26-2012, 04:22 PM
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#230 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
When i was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream van only played music when it was sold out.
Well played dad, well played. |
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02-02-2013, 11:30 AM
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#231 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
I've always wanted to go into an elevator full of strangers and say " I suppose you're wondering why i've gathered you all here today"
Last edited by Janstevie; 02-02-2013 at 11:46 AM. |
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02-11-2013, 07:19 AM
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#232 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Now Seniors have their own texting codes:
* ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizens * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low * GHA - Got Heartburn Again * LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out * LOL- Living on Lipitor * * TOT- Texting on Toilet * Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!) |
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03-07-2013, 10:44 AM
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#233 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X, she's never coming back and dont ask Y. |
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03-28-2013, 11:20 AM
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#234 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
There are two words in a person's life that will open lots of doors for them - Push and Pull.
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03-28-2013, 01:41 PM
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#235 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
with a distinct flair 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: somewhere else
Posts: 1,852
Thanks: 7,623
Thanked 4,388 Times in 1,009 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
lol, I don't care what anyone says; this makes me laugh every time!
3 men walked into a bar. The 4th one ducked.
lol |
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03-31-2013, 04:42 AM
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#236 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
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04-06-2013, 01:09 PM
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#237 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity, i said no we all seem to enjoy it.
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05-29-2013, 02:26 PM
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#238 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with
an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out a distant location. The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... on ANY land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear...... do you understand???" The rancher nodded politely, apoligised and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's enormous Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... "Your badge........ show him your BADGE!!! . |
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05-30-2013, 09:01 PM
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#239 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Toe curling :-)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,382
Thanks: 1,792
Thanked 5,592 Times in 1,521 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
My lesbian neighbors bought me a Rolex for Christmas...
I guess they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch. 
__________________
無料のライブ
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06-18-2013, 03:40 PM
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#240 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that your ex-partner is really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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