What attracts you to Ftms ......

[Guy]

Hi Stephanie,


I think by being condecending towards the fifties lifestyle, just because someone does not agree with it, is disrespectful.

[Martina]

I wasn't condescending toward it. I am fine with it unless you or someone thinks it is something to be promoted, some ideal to be emulated. You want to recommend to your daughter that she should defer to her husband because he is a guy?

[BullDog]

Well thanks Guy for the clarification. In terms of FTM and trans people, they don't all share the same views or live the same way, so I don't understand the connection with FTMS and 50s lifestyle and how that would be disrespectful to FTMS and trans people. None of my objections have anything to do with any specific gender or any individual relationships at all.

[Guy]

I think this going back and forth is leading to another derail. I am done.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Guy

I think this going back and forth is leading to another derail. I am done.

It's not a contest, it's a discussion that needed to be had that has now evolved into another thread with lots of value.

No one that I know of or am aware of is attempting to police how you or anyone else is living their lifestyle. I am unsure why this is so hard to understand or how it can be communicated any further.

[Guy]

No one that I know of or am aware of is attempting to police how you or anyone else is living their lifestyle


It sure feels that way to me, and I am sure I am not alone in this, as other members have tried to explain why they are "afraid" to post or feel "judged" for their lifestyle.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Guy

No one that I know of or am aware of is attempting to police how you or anyone else is living their lifestyle


It sure feels that way to me, and I am sure I am not alone in this, as other members have tried to explain why they are "afraid" to post or feel "judged" for their lifestyle.

No one has done these things, I promise I have looked. I know that I personally have not come from that space.

I still don't get the whole "afraid" scenario, it's odd to me because no one in here has been frightening, mean or scary..

I am truly trying to understand where this assumption has rooted from.

[Guy]

I don't really have anything else to say about this. I didn't say you (Snow) personally.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Guy

Hi Stephanie,


I think by being condecending towards the fifties lifestyle, just because someone does not agree with it, is disrespectful.

I realize we're sort of shutting down this part of the discussion, but I'll just add that I agree being condescending toward anyone could be considered disrespectful; but I didn't see the connection between that and this being in the trans zone, and your reference to the lifestyle, that's all. I just wanted to understand where your comment was coming from.

[BrutalDaddy]

Okay, got Ursula parked for the night, finally.


DMV, Julie pretty much hit the nail on the head with the use of the word shame, for me.

There were specific incidents, growing up as a female but feeling/knowing something just was not right with me, that caused the shame. It's not something I'll talk about out in the open but it's not something I will put away forever either because it is a part of the journey I've taken to get here. I gotta take the good with the bad. Lol.

I can honestly say that Julie has played a very very major role in me finally being totally okay with aligning my outside with my inside. I don't think she realizes that though. A lot of it comes from the religious upbringing and family that I come from. Yet they all adore Julie. Hell my own granny forced us to have a shot gun wedding at her house. My mom, in the past year or two, has started calling me, "her son". Most of the above has happened because they see that someone like me, a FTM, can be loved and accepted by another. That I'm not just some freak of nature or worse yet, someone who enjoys "dancing with the Devil" just to be the black sheep of the family.

Oh lordy, that was a derail if there ever was one but felt the need to share that. I guess what it boils down to is this....I am so damn grateful for threads like this because it's nice to be reminded every now and then why someone like myself could and would be appreciated, and not just by their lover/wife/spouse/partner or family.


Y'all Rock For Now,
Brute.


P.S. Snow, you scare me all the time. Just sayin'. *grinning*

[Bèsame*]

The honesty they share, the emotions they have about themselves, the energy they project.

Ranch house is a plus as well

[VintageFemme]

Their courage, strength of heart & spirit, the will to be true to who they are in the face of much bigotry, adversity and misunderstanding. And physically for me, just their sheer hottiness. Mhmmm.

[DMW]

Humm...i am pondering on this now...all of the derails...including some of my own...wondering if i should put my feelings in here...this space where people are supposed to be able to say what attracts them to people. feeling that i would just like to have a space to breathe and be my asshole, masculine, wonderful self and not feel picked at...a feeling as if i were cariron for vulchers...nor, do i like feeling or seeing ...especially submissive femmes...going through what must feel somewhat the same...( i am not quite sure) i believe buttons are being pushed when i voice out my honest genuine self (when and as if, i were talking with someone i adored or was being intimate with or a friend or brother that knows me well,but, i am here)...which leads me to suppose i should tamper myself...protect and guard myself with what i say or share...i have to ask myself..how are these people...to understand that...i am not a man that looks at a woman in a demeaning light...or see's her ...as if she belongs in a role that would make her feel badly about herself. If i were to say...damn...what you just said was so fing hot and i would like to bend *** **** *************...better censor myself here...because one...i don't share that well in a public space because...a.) it is sacred to me...how i talk to MY WOMAN...because, to me, she is sacred and so is that bond... and b.) now, i should tamper that down even more.....to darkness...because...i might offend someone for being me... not to mention,this is a space for those who are attracted to ftms to speak... not really me to reply to that... also, with what i say...may be perceived or thought of as "talking down to a woman or being sexist or...i don't know...wrong)...and it could make some women feel badly or trigger them...i suppose..i have to think more about this...i would like to start a new thread...but, i don't know how yet. I have grown tired of feeling like i have to apologize when i am just being myself. It is actually quite disturbing...the feeling like i have to defend myself or others just for being here.

I refuse to pick apart anyone else's previous posts because...i don't want them to feel picked on like carrion either...but, i won't lay down either and i hate to see...anyone lay down when they are just trying to express themselves...

[Hominid]

@dmw -
I commend you on your struggle to be clear, to be heard, to be yourself. It's very hard to be see for who you are in the written word. I learned in another thread (and was summarily smacked down for what other's say routinely) that one just can't take for granted that you will be "heard". The only way I've figured out to do it, if I care enough about the topic to go through the effort, is to use the "sandwich" technique. Put what you have to say between two pieces of metaphorical bread - qualifiers, compliments - something to make clear that what you have to say is just you. Do I resent that? A little. Then again, if it keeps someone from feeling judged or insulted, I suppose it's worth it.

On another note - alluding to the June Cleaver stuff, and somewhat what you have to say about speaking to your mate - I think some of what we who profess to admire or desire a '50's type dynamic are misunderstood, and also misrepresent. The key is: it's a kink, on some level. It's the idea of what it means to us now - not what it meant then. There was no choice then. There is now. It has become more appealing because there IS a choice. And again, it's taking on the parts that from a distance are appealing, and leaving behind the unpleasantness that made that a reality at one time. Kind of like those folks who are into Medieval Fairs - it's romanticized, far removed from what life was like for the actual participants, and based on an idea, a dynamic, not what it meant to be covered in smallpox scars and be covered in lice, no matter your social status.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Hominid

@dmw -
I commend you on your struggle to be clear, to be heard, to be yourself. It's very hard to be see for who you are in the written word.

I learned in another thread (and was summarily smacked down for what other's say routinely) that one just can't take for granted that you will be "heard".

The only way I've figured out to do it, if I care enough about the topic to go through the effort, is to use the "sandwich" technique. Put what you have to say between two pieces of metaphorical bread - qualifiers, compliments - something to make clear that what you have to say is just you. Do I resent that? A little. Then again, if it keeps someone from feeling judged or insulted, I suppose it's worth it.

On another note - alluding to the June Cleaver stuff, and somewhat what you have to say about speaking to your mate - I think some of what we who profess to admire or desire a '50's type dynamic are misunderstood, and also misrepresent. The key is: it's a kink, on some level. It's the idea of what it means to us now - not what it meant then. There was no choice then. There is now. It has become more appealing because there IS a choice. And again, it's taking on the parts that from a distance are appealing, and leaving behind the unpleasantness that made that a reality at one time. Kind of like those folks who are into Medieval Fairs - it's romanticized, far removed from what life was like for the actual participants, and based on an idea, a dynamic, not what it meant to be covered in smallpox scars and be covered in lice, no matter your social status.

People coming in and stating their views and having a conversation is not a "SMACK DOWN"

I am unsure of what thread you are talking about since there are so many here on BFP, but I have yet to see anyone *smacking* anyone have folks been taken to task? Yes Do the isms get called out? Yeap. If you are being harrassed or threatened on BFP you should really really have the Moderators take care of that for you

[femmsational]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

DMW would you be so kind and clarify what you meant? Thank you

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

People coming in and stating their views and having a conversation is not a "SMACK DOWN"

I am unsure of what thread you are talking about since there are so many here on BFP, but I have yet to see anyone *smacking* anyone have folks been taken to task? Yes Do the isms get called out? Yeap. If you are being harrassed or threatened on BFP you should really really have the Moderators take care of that for you

Ugh!!!

I understand the feeling that some people may have that they are being jumped on. Which was what I was trying to talk to you, Snow, about when my head imploded.

I wasn't talking about the "being scared of" bits because THAT, I don't get. And I've told you a bunch of time that it makes no sense to me why people are scared of you???? That's got to suck to hear all the time when all you're here to do is interact with people who you like and and are like you in many ways.

The above responses to me are totally reasonable. I think if someone puts out there that they are feeling attacked, bullied or XYZ...then ask about it. Like you did. No judgement, no attack, just a hey.....can you help me out with this, I don't get it.

However, I do understand why people feel jumped on.....and since I can't multi-quote as well as I'd like, I'm gonna have to finish this in a second post....so stand by....

[Hominid]

I'm not even going to go there - I have no desire to expand this, and shouldn't have brought it up to begin with. It was not someone sharing his views.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

People coming in and stating their views and having a conversation is not a "SMACK DOWN"

I am unsure of what thread you are talking about since there are so many here on BFP, but I have yet to see anyone *smacking* anyone have folks been taken to task? Yes Do the isms get called out? Yeap. If you are being harrassed or threatened on BFP you should really really have the Moderators take care of that for you

[DMW]

continued from my first post...or be themselves and be accepted for who they are...
it must be difficult to be a moderator here...somewhat like a police state...
I have been around biomales and been offended by what they have said about
women. And i do not remain silent...or let their deragatory or offhand sexist remarks ...go by...unanswered or unquestioned...or without defending that woman..even if i don't know her....or especially if the remark was about women in general. I don't even like revealing this much about myself period. So, i can understand the questions from this site.

That was odd...my computer froze...my memory was full i believe...had to clear out the cache etc.

Hominid, thank you for your post. I agree with you on the necessity to provide a generalized note stating, for example, (my post is only regarding how I feel) in order to avoid offending others. I get that for sure.
And the 50's ....i wasn't sure i was even going to go into trying to explain...i am low on energy also...however, i do like your explanation..it is quite clear. I believe that will help some people.
I appreciate that. For now i sign off.
Cheers

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by DMW

Humm...i am pondering on this now...all of the derails...including some of my own...wondering if i should put my feelings in here...this space where people are supposed to be able to say what attracts them to people. feeling that i would just like to have a space to breathe and be my asshole, masculine, wonderful self and not feel picked at...a feeling as if i were cariron for vulchers...nor, do i like feeling or seeing ...especially submissive femmes...


DMW are you implying that you need space to be all of the things above in a thread for people to come in and talk about what attracts them to FTM's?

Are you also implying that the people who have come in here are vultures?? and are you also implying that these vultures are hurting the submissive femme and keeping guys/FTM's from having a pace to be assholes, masculine?

Are you really implying folks have come in here and picked on the guys/FTM's and submissive femmes?

If so. could you point that out?


Thanks..





going through what must feel somewhat the same...( i am not quite sure) i believe buttons are being pushed when i voice out my honest genuine self (when and as if, i were talking with someone i adored or was being intimate with or a friend or brother that knows me well,but, i am here)...which leads me to suppose i should tamper myself...protect and guard myself with what i say or share...i have to ask myself..how are these people...to understand that...i am not a man that looks at a woman in a demeaning light...or see's her ...as if she belongs in a role that would make her feel badly about herself. If i were to say...damn...what you just said was so fing hot and i would like to bend *** **** *************...better censor myself here...because one...i don't share that well in a public space because...a.) it is sacred to me...how i talk to MY WOMAN...because, to me, she is sacred and so is that bond... and b.) now, i should tamper that down even more.....to darkness...because...i might offend someone for being me... not to mention,this is a space for those who are attracted to ftms to speak... not really me to reply to that... also, with what i say...may be perceived or thought of as "talking down to a woman or being sexist or...i don't know...wrong)...and it could make some women feel badly or trigger them...i suppose..i have to think more about this...i would like to start a new thread...but, i don't know how yet. I have grown tired of feeling like i have to apologize when i am just being myself. It is actually quite disturbing...the feeling like i have to defend myself or others just for being here.

I refuse to pick apart anyone else's previous posts because...i don't want them to feel picked on like carrion either...but, i won't lay down either and i hate to see...anyone lay down when they are just trying to express themselves...

DMW would you be so kind and clarify what you meant? Thank you

[Soon]

Originally Posted by DMW

feeling that i would just like to have a space to breathe and be my asshole, masculine, wonderful self and not feel picked at...

Seriously?

I think most of us get enough of this common attitude (both the entitlement and the poor me bits) from men in the real world.