June Cleaver : Femme Friend or Femme Foe

Martina · 10-26-2012, 08:12 PM

We may be talking at cross-purposes. I don't know. I think most of what you say is a given. We start from there. But we don't go on to assert an ID so unique that we lose our ability to recognize ourselves in others.

One of the interesting essays I read -- and I mentioned it -- was by a sex worker who did not claim femme until she read an article by a femme about her straight mother. Now her mother was NOT traditional. Sex positive, working class, tough. But the thing was that it was this person's ability to connect to the story of a STRAIGHT woman that helped her with her queer ID. And, of course, Nestle used her mother's experiences to help her stand up against the dykes who were criticizing her as a femme who liked to be fucked by butches. I don't want to separate myself from the examples and experiences of other feminine women.

gotta go. a pot luck awaits. how lesbian is that?

JustJo · 10-26-2012, 08:22 PM

Thank you for posting that Martina....a lot of it resonated for me. Not coincidentally, the part about Sheiner's experience of becoming more comfortable with her femininity and her femme self and less troubled by issues of invisibility and passing, as she ages.

I am so there.

I feel like I'm rounding a corner in my life where I just am who I am. I'm comfortable with it. I'm not changing to suit anyone anymore. I don't care if I am invisible as a femme. I don't care if I'm femme enough, feminine enough, tall, short, skinny, fat enough. I just don't care.

I am me. And I am comfortable with me. I'm also comfortable with everyone else being who they are. It feels good.

10-26-2012, 08:22 PM	#2
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,405 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Thank you for posting that Martina....a lot of it resonated for me. Not coincidentally, the part about Sheiner's experience of becoming more comfortable with her femininity and her femme self and less troubled by issues of invisibility and passing, as she ages. I am so there. I feel like I'm rounding a corner in my life where I just am who I am. I'm comfortable with it. I'm not changing to suit anyone anymore. I don't care if I am invisible as a femme. I don't care if I'm femme enough, feminine enough, tall, short, skinny, fat enough. I just don't care. I am me. And I am comfortable with me. I'm also comfortable with everyone else being who they are. It feels good. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

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10-26-2012, 08:12 PM	#1
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	We may be talking at cross-purposes. I don't know. I think most of what you say is a given. We start from there. But we don't go on to assert an ID so unique that we lose our ability to recognize ourselves in others. One of the interesting essays I read -- and I mentioned it -- was by a sex worker who did not claim femme until she read an article by a femme about her straight mother. Now her mother was NOT traditional. Sex positive, working class, tough. But the thing was that it was this person's ability to connect to the story of a STRAIGHT woman that helped her with her queer ID. And, of course, Nestle used her mother's experiences to help her stand up against the dykes who were criticizing her as a femme who liked to be fucked by butches. I don't want to separate myself from the examples and experiences of other feminine women. gotta go. a pot luck awaits. how lesbian is that?