"Stud" versus "Butch"

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by dixie

I think, therein lies the issue. Using the video for example: Say this privileged white youngster only associates/hangs out with other privileged white youngsters. Knowing youth, I know that most will not research these things on their own. So, who will educate them? (Theoretically.) That, I believe, is the issue that perpetuates the cycle. If they do not have someone willing to say, "hey, did you know...", then they will continue to latch on without that knowledge/regard.

I think it is up to all of us to educate the youth, they should also take some classes in Sociology, Cultural Anthropology.

[Electrocell]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I think it is up to all of us to educate the youth, they should also take some classes in Sociology, Cultural Anthropology.

Ask yourself though at that age lol what did you think about people of our age opinions. We can try to lead by example and let them know that kind of attitude isn't really acceptable.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Electrocell

Ask yourself though at that age lol what did you think about people of our age opinions. We can try to lead by example and let them know that kind of attitude isn't really acceptable.

I was in the service, so I have a slightly different view on that. I also grew up respecting my elders and being open to knew ideas and cultures, while respecting those cultures and ideas. I'm an old fart, I know...

[Electrocell]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I was in the service, so I have a slightly different view on that. I also grew up respecting my elders and being open to knew ideas and cultures, while respecting those cultures and ideas. I'm an old fart, I know...

LOL so am I. Was taught to respect my elders also.
I've been around alot of different cultures myself-----almost went into the services ---almost lol. To much of a rebel back then to let someone tell me what to do 24/7. Still can't handle the 24/7 or some of societies rules , but if I want to keep my ass out of jail or keep a job I have to abide lol.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I think it is up to all of us to educate the youth, they should also take some classes in Sociology, Cultural Anthropology.

I agree. And I know others also say they agree. But then I see threads started by newbies in the community, often young in age, asking questions, innocently, that they are curious about and honestly do not know the answer to, and what happens? Sometimes responses are welcoming and encouraging, and sometimes they are dismissive, condescending, and "Why don't you read some threads before you come in here and ask those kinds of questions?" or "It's easy to google it, so why don't you?" I think it's a lovely idea to agree that we should educate youth, but then we actually have to follow through with it. And I don't think it actually stops with youth. I know plenty of adults that could use some education - especially in Developmental Psychology.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by QueenofSmirks

I agree. And I know others also say they agree. But then I see threads started by newbies in the community, often young in age, asking questions, innocently, that they are curious about and honestly do not know the answer to, and what happens? Sometimes responses are welcoming and encouraging, and sometimes they are dismissive, condescending, and "Why don't you read some threads before you come in here and ask those kinds of questions?" or "It's easy to google it, so why don't you?" I think it's a lovely idea to agree that we should educate youth, but then we actually have to follow through with it. And I don't think it actually stops with youth. I know plenty of adults that could use some education - especially in Developmental Psychology.

I think it is the approach, hence why *I* personally have issues with people not doing their own homework. When *I* first started coming to sites like this I did a whole lot of reading and did some self discovery. *I* don't like looking like an idiot.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I think it is the approach, hence why *I* personally have issues with people not doing their own homework. When *I* first started coming to sites like this I did a whole lot of reading and did some self discovery. *I* don't like looking like an idiot.

I can understand the overwhelming excitement of discovery and wanting to jump in with both feet, so, I don't see someone asking a question as looking like an idiot. I agree that everyone approaches things in different ways - it's part of what makes us such a lovely and diverse community.

[Girl_On_Fire]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I think it is the approach, hence why *I* personally have issues with people not doing their own homework. When *I* first started coming to sites like this I did a whole lot of reading and did some self discovery. *I* don't like looking like an idiot.

Not everybody learns that way though, Corkey. In my style of learning, for example, I learn much better by interaction with others rather than reading text. This could possibly be because I'm extremely right-brained but I do not readily absorb information unless it's presented to me in a creative way. That's just my learning style, it has nothing to do with laziness or not caring.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Girl_On_Fire

Not everybody learns that way though, Corkey. In my style of learning, for example, I learn much better by interaction with others rather than reading text. This could possibly be because I'm extremely right-brained but I do not readily absorb information unless it's presented to me in a creative way. That's just my learning style, it has nothing to do with laziness or not caring.

Never said either you were lazy or non caring. It isn't up to me to educate the masses, nor is it up to POC to educate the masses. I think if folks are interested it is up to them to educate themselves. And with this I am done. Have a good evening.

[Girl_On_Fire]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Never said either you were lazy or non caring. It isn't up to me to educate the masses, nor is it up to POC to educate the masses. I think if folks are interested it is up to them to educate themselves. And with this I am done. Have a good evening.

And I never said you implied I was lazy. However, from your (and others) suggestion that people need to "educate themselves", it makes it seem as though you are implying laziness or not caring on the part of anyone who would reach out to others for answers versus learning on their own. I cannot do that very successfully and I'm sure I'm not alone. Reaching out to patient others who are willing to see and understand my genuine confusion and ignorance are really the only people whom I can safely and successfully learn from.

I didn't mean to start anything serious by asking this question but I'm glad it turned into a serious discussion. I've lead an incredibly sheltered life (and not good sheltered, more like ignored/dismissed/abused sheltered so please don't read privileged into that because I've worked hard for every scrap of knowledge I've ever managed to pull from people because I have a developmental/learning disorder.)

My point is, everybody comes from a different place and has a different story. It's not what others do or say or believe, to me, it's how you respond to them. If anybody thinks someone is being a jerk or rude or lazy or trying to start something because they ask a question, then that is their perception. This is a big pet peeve of mine because I've been chronically dismissed since childhood for asking what I believed (and still believe) to be innocent questions while trying to learn about the world around me. While that's my own personal issue and has nothing to do with you or this discussion, it's important to keep in mind that everybody's brain works differently and their experiences shape how they view the world. They may truly not at all understand your response to their question or confusion and a more sensitive person may run away and burrow deeper into their own solitude for fear of other's reactions to them.

Thankfully, a bit of age and wisdom has taught me not to run and hide, but to explain and discuss as rationally as my current emotions allow in any given situation.

[Corkey]

Not interested. Thanks but I've had my say. I will not be pulled back in.

[julieisafemme]

What I have learned as a white person is that sometimes it is painful and hurtful for people of color to hear white people process their questions and feelings. That is the privilege we have. So it is helpful for us to read or talk to other white people who might know more than we do. Asking questions is fine but sometimes we have to understand that people might not want to answer. That is their right.

I totally understand what you are saying about having trouble learning that way. I also have a very difficult time understanding things in writing. I have to read things over and over to understand. I do understand though that it is not other's responsibility to help me deal with my different way of learning.

Originally Posted by Girl_On_Fire

And I never said you implied I was lazy. However, from your (and others) suggestion that people need to "educate themselves", it makes it seem as though you are implying laziness or not caring on the part of anyone who would reach out to others for answers versus learning on their own. I cannot do that very successfully and I'm sure I'm not alone. Reaching out to patient others who are willing to see and understand my genuine confusion and ignorance are really the only people whom I can safely and successfully learn from.

I didn't mean to start anything serious by asking this question but I'm glad it turned into a serious discussion. I've lead an incredibly sheltered life (and not good sheltered, more like ignored/dismissed/abused sheltered so please don't read privileged into that because I've worked hard for every scrap of knowledge I've ever managed to pull from people because I have a developmental/learning disorder.)

My point is, everybody comes from a different place and has a different story. It's not what others do or say or believe, to me, it's how you respond to them. If anybody thinks someone is being a jerk or rude or lazy or trying to start something because they ask a question, then that is their perception. This is a big pet peeve of mine because I've been chronically dismissed since childhood for asking what I believed (and still believe) to be innocent questions while trying to learn about the world around me. While that's my own personal issue and has nothing to do with you or this discussion, it's important to keep in mind that everybody's brain works differently and their experiences shape how they view the world. They may truly not at all understand your response to their question or confusion and a more sensitive person may run away and burrow deeper into their own solitude for fear of other's reactions to them.

Thankfully, a bit of age and wisdom has taught me not to run and hide, but to explain and discuss as rationally as my current emotions allow in any given situation.