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#1 | |
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What is the line?
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#2 |
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As a mother of a son who was almost taken away from me simply due to the fact that I was gay, I am a little weary when I hear people talk about the “government”, or anyone for that matter, taking kids away from their mothers. Having said that, I must keep in mind that I did not “choose” my sexual orientation, whereas this woman has chosen and as continuously chooses, to put herself and her dysfunctional ways before her children. In any event, I still don’t advocate anyone’s children being taken away unless they are truly in danger. There lies the question about child custody, and it is so difficult to decide in this case if they are indeed in danger or simply subjected to unhealthy behavior. It also amazes me that most of those who are appalled at the “government” running anything, more specifically healthcare, have no problem rationalizing the government’s role in parenting issues. I am with Apocalipstic, where do we draw the line?
The article is not giving us the whole picture, but the one that it does give us is very grim. This woman is willing to kill herself in the name of 15 minutes of fame and her name appearing in print in the Guinness Book of World Records. This says so much more about our society than it does about this poor woman. In the age of realities, celebrity worshiping, etc, how can we blame her? We have the Octomom as another example, when will we stop worshiping the wrong people for the wrong reasons? What will be next? I personally don’t believe this has anything to do with being “fat positive”, and I am sure this will bring in a lot of comments. Being “fat positive” does not equal being suicidal. I have been pondering whether to post on here or not because of the sensitivity of the subject, but in my mind setting a goal to reach 1,000lbs is simply insane. It is not sexy it is not positive it is not safe, for her or her children. Being 1,000 lbs is not being fat, it is a legacy that this woman will leave her children, one that not only includes eating disorders, but it also includes giving your children the wrong lessons and more importantly, teaching them how low self-esteem can go. |
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#3 | |
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Running along apretty's statement ... would you not want intervention if a drug addict's kid is being neglected? When a person puts themselves out there (meaning in the public eye), EVERYONE, including government agencies (especially when the potential for danger exists) are going to watch closely. If they didn't - we'd cry that the system failed. If she isn't thinking about her kids, maybe someone has to. But I don't think anything should be handled prematurely.
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#4 | |
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#5 |
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Are people who buy the Guiness Book of World Records or support the types of magazines and websites she is making money from culpable?
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#6 |
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#7 |
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I think as long as we as a society continue to be fascinated with people like this and continue to buy the books, we are encouraging people like her.
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#8 |
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#9 |
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I've been thinking about this article. I must confess that my thoughts have been all over road which is why I wanted to think this through. No doubt I will think some more after this post. And of course being the nerd that I am I had to read everything I could find because I wanted to try and understand.This has been a good discussion. I apologize if I am being redundant.
My emotions have ranged from sad to angry to frustrated to convicted to stunned to compassion. I was sad because she was making a self destructive choice. It would be different if she remained healthy as she pushes to 1000lbs. But she is experiencing the negative consequences of her actions. She is having to battle with the health issues. However she remains determined to pursue her goal. My reaction is a natural one for me - Why? What is behind her decision? What is driving her to say screw the consequences, this is what I want? None of us truly knows that. And it's too easy to simply call her selfish. I'm not saying that we ignore bad behavior or not hold individuals accountable. But let's be consistent. I was angry because I didn't hear much of an outcry directed at her fiancee. I didn't hear or read much about him being a bad father or limiting his exposure to the children. After all isn't he enabling the addiction or whatever is driving her decisions to bring harm to herself? I was angry with those who support her sites. They too are contributing to her journey to self harm. Will they be supporting her when she is on the negative side of this journey? How sad it is that we as a society often find ways to benefit from another person's destruction. And here's another question - How many of us CHOOSE do things that we KNOW will bring negative consequences? Yet we do it over and over again. We ignore what the Surgeon General says. We ignore what the "experts" say. (who are they anyway?) We boldly say by our actions - screw whatever <fill in the blank> says, I'm going to live my life. Do we lessen the salt, do the exercise, cut the soda, put down the alcohol, drive when we know we shouldn't because of lack of sleep or too much alcohol, text/yack on phone while driving? And the list goes on. Do we do the healthy/right stuff or do we by our actions say not today, I'm doing whatever I feel like. It's my right. But the immediate reaction what she's doing is different. I have to ask why, how? Because we see actions, her choices as more extreme? Who are to judge her? These were things that hit me. What also stung me was the part about her physical exercise. I wasn't exercising at all either. And the bottom line truth is that my lack of action was a choice. The excuses were just that - excuses! So am I just as irresponsible as she is being? The truth is yes. Should I be denied raising my children (if I had any) because of such poor choices? I don't think so. So if I shouldn't why should she? Removing the children does not deal with the root cause. I guess it's an occupational hazard but I have to do a root cause analysis on everything to make sure the right areas are being addressed. I know this takes the discussion off point a bit but I think we need to be careful and look at this from different angles. And if there is one, you know I'll find it. Even though we engage in self destructive behaviors on a regular basis (for those who don't fall into this category - you read with one eye so you know when it's safe to read with both later) we feel it is our right whether we have children or not. And the same is true when we choose to engage in behaviors that others think are not natural and they pull out some statistic or some manual to show proof that we should change. Some don't eat meat and believe it is a poor choice and bad judgment. We're harming our bodies. (obviously I don't believe this as I at Fudruckers yesterday - lol). We weigh all the data and then we choose. This woman has chosen. It may not be our choice. It may be an unwise choice. But it is her choice. With choice comes consequences. Donna will have to deal with the consequences of her actions. And unfortunately in one way or another so will her children and fiancee. Maybe it's the pastor's heart that was hit as I read what I could find about Donna. I just want to make sure we're also taking a hard look at ourselves before we are so quick to judge. And the biggest reason I was saddened - it took an extreme situation like this to really make me look at me. I'll sit down now. |
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#10 | |
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#11 |
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* food addicts cant quit. they have to figure out how to get the fix without getting high.
* food addicts are starving. they're trying to feed something that cant be sated with food. * this isnt "news". it's us buying a product...sensationalism. it's candy and (the general) we are gluttons. news is a rare commodity and we dont see much of it when all is said and done. * we're all dying. some people just know how. |
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#12 |
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I agree that if Donna were starving herself, it would not be an issue.
The issue is that the media and most people I know, including other fat people are fat phobic. This is a news story because Donna is fat. Really fat, and not embarrassed about it.
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#13 | |
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If this headline was, instead, "87 pound woman starving herself to be thinnest woman alive" we'd be having a hugely different conversation--even though many of the health risks (heart attack, weakness, inability to move) are similar for being hugely over or underweight.
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#14 |
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I have mixed feelings on this topic. I am heavy. I have Diabetes, and have had a heart attack. I also have glaucoma, & floaters in my eyes. I have struggled for the last 8 years with my weight. I am judged every single day I am in public. I hate it. I am perceived as a fat person, and not a human being. There is a difference. The next time you go out in public, look around at those around you. Look at how they are starring at you. That speaks volumes. As for this woman aimming to gain weight...for publicity. And she has children. That is not sitting well with me. ![]() |
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#15 | |
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I don't think people would be talking about having her kids removed if she was going for the record of being the most under weight...
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#16 |
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I've been watching the new Kirsti Alley show on A&E. There was drama leading up to her weigh in. The whole show is about her losing weight again. It turns out she only weighs 230lbs. To me, that is average. I don't know, but I was just amazed that all this fuss was being made about someone who is 230lbs. And then I thought how sad that the gossip mags say such horrible things about her and it is all related to her weight. As an actress she has to be about 110lbs and look emaciated to be "pretty." The whole show just reveals how sick our society is when it comes to women and weight and beauty. Rufus
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#17 |
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#18 | |
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I agree, I have never heard talk of removing people's kids for being too thin. Too fat stuff makes me twitch.
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