Everything you wanted to know about dating...

[*Anya*]

Honesty is the best policy!

We had a long chat over dinner.

I explained that I was not feeling it and did not know if it ever would happen for me.

She said that my honesty was refreshing (!) and asked me why didn't we just have some fun together as friends.

We did a pinkie swear (laughing like fools and yes, it was my idea) that if either of us decided it really wasn't fun, we would just move on.

I can live with that.

It was majorly helpful to read all the feedback and perspectives today.

Thank you.

[Greco]

Anya,

I must say this again and publicly...Your Integrity is priceless. My respect for you has deepened, and I hold you in the highest esteem. Too much you say...not at all, in today's world of superficiality in relating, someone with integrity, self-respect, and respect for another should be honored...and so I do.

You could have found some other way to not face her, but you showed up, faced her and shared your feelings...now you may indeed have a true friend in her, as you certainly do in me. In my culture, "showing your face", sounds better in Spanish, shows the person's integrity, dignity, and courage...you, my friend have shown all three.

I am honored to call you my Femme Friend, Greco

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Honesty is the best policy!

We had a long chat over dinner.

I explained that I was not feeling it and did not know if it ever would happen for me.

She said that my honesty was refreshing (!) and asked me why didn't we just have some fun together as friends.

We did a pinkie swear (laughing like fools and yes, it was my idea) that if either of us decided it really wasn't fun, we would just move on.

I can live with that.

It was majorly helpful to read all the feedback and perspectives today.

Thank you.

[ScandalAndy]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I think that maybe I went out with her a few too many times.

I have had coffee with several that it was easy to just say thanks but no thanks.

I also really wish that I felt "that way" about her.

She is stable, solid, mature, retired, financially well-off, funny and a very sweet butch.

Oh and she really likes me.

I guess I think that I should feel that way about her.

Damn.

THIS. This right here is my biggest stumbling block. I feel almost guilty for not having feelings for a person who is stable and interested in me. I really WANT to like them, but it's just. not. there.

On the opposite end of this, I've had people tell me they're just not interested in anything other than friendship with me. A couple times it has come as a HUGE blow, but I was grateful for the honesty. I mean, how much time in my past have I spent pining over someone who had no interest but also wasn't brave enough to tell me? Too much. I get that it takes courage to face someone and tell them you aren't into them like that, but there's no reason it has to be a prolonged suffering on both parties' parts.

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

*im blushing*
Like ScandalAndy said (I think) - the Philly/South Jersey area is a little difficult for b/f dating.
And ATTENTION All Butches: Ruthie14 is a CATCH. I'd date her myself, but she might be my cousin.... South Jersey is a small town...

YESSSSSSS, it's like b/f is super passe here so you have to seek out folks you get "the vibe" from. I was at a friendsgiving last night and I think I saw two! But they're in a relationship with each other. Either way, I made some super awesome new friends.

[~ocean]

I am no expert on an inlone hook up , i just think if u get to know the person and chat socially, then w/ time u get to know eachother personaly, and take your time to meeting oneanother , the desire becomes overwhelming ~ Like the ole song goes "Take Time To Know Her" it's not an overnight thing ~