How do you communicate when you're angry?

[Kätzchen]

I can relate to the idea of HoneyBarbara's - the one about throwing someone off a bridge! When I was younger, 20's to late thirties, I seemed to be more on the reactionary side in an argument; whether the argument was with someone like a stranger or someone I knew but didn't know really well to people I'd be in an argument with - like someone in my family.

I got so angry with a persistent condition in my own family that my anger led me to stop talking to all of them for a rather long period of time - like ten years or better.

I'd have to say that lately, like over the past ten years or so, the way I handle my own anger or my own behavior when involved in an argument, mostly has been shaped by obtaining a formal education and learning to harness my own actions or reactions or inactions in a less agressive kind of way. And it didn't happen overnight but rather it took the better part of the last ten years to figure out how to leash my own anger and try to not be so reactive. I am not totally healed of my former abilities - I doubt I ever will be...

But, I guess the way I handle being angry now is primarily managed by a 'booby-trap' system of my own making in that I know what my triggers are, what causes me to be angry and what I do, which has taken me quite a bit of time and practice to nail it down, is to go into quite commando trance (for lack of a better way to describe it) and sit quietly as possible or even take myself out of the whole scenario and ask myself some really intense questions and map out a way to be as sweetly and unpredictably as disarming as possible, when solving why I am so angry.