What expanded your mind today?

[girl_dee]

verbiage.

Am i the only one who is bothered by this phrase, when used to describe a victim of violence?

"They were in the wrong place at the wrong time"

*i* feel this somehow puts the victim at fault, even though it is not intended that way, and that really bothers me.

Is it just me?

[Okiebug61]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

verbiage.

Am i the only one who is bothered by this phrase, when used to describe a victim of violence?

"They were in the wrong place at the wrong time"

*i* feel this somehow puts the victim at fault, even though it is not intended that way, and that really bothers me.

Is it just me?

Yeah it bugs me. It seems like a lot of people are blamed for a lot of things out of their control.

I blame the media for a lot of the crap victims have to endure.

[Hollylane]

The impactful legacy of a 12-year-old girl and the national movement she sparked


Jessie Rees got into the backseat of her parents' car after another grueling round of chemo and radiation and looked back at the hospital through the window.

She wondered aloud: Why did she get to go home from the hospital? What about the other kids? Why weren't they going home?

Her dad, Erik, ventured an answer. It's because they have a different type of treatment, he told his daughter. You get to go home after your treatment, but they don't.

Jessie, then 11, asked another question. It's a question that caused her mom, Stacey, to start crying. It's a question that, in her dad's words, "changed the tapestry of our lives." It also started a movement that has affected tens of thousands of people all over the world.

Jessie loved swimming the most. She was straight out of central casting, with blond hair, blue eyes, lightly tanned skin and the easy Southern California smile. She was a junior Olympic swimmer for the Mission Viejo Nadadores, which is where she could be found doing laps and giggling with friends. Swimming is among the most secluded of sports – you hardly see anyone else and you rarely hear them – but Jessie loved being a teammate. She yelled for her friends as they made their flip turns and made a special effort to see them compete. That's what she was doing in February of 2011 when she started complaining of headaches. Not a big deal, her parents thought, but then she started to develop a lazy eye. She had to go in for a checkup.

Doctors ordered an MRI and the result was unthinkable: Two malignant tumors in her brain stem. The cancer was inoperable. It was incurable. Erik sought "47 second opinions," he says, but every doctor told them the awful truth: there was little hope. At the end of February, Jessie was an up-and-coming swimmer. By the end of March, she was going through chemo with a 1 percent chance to live 18 months. Her parents started telling her about heaven.

Then, on the way home from one treatment one spring day, her parents explained the difference between in-patient and out-patient. And Jessie, who had one more birthday left if she was lucky, thought about the kids who didn't get to go home that day and asked:

"What can we do for them?"

What can we do for them? The question broke her parents' hearts. "She's fighting a battle she can't win," Erik says, choking up over the phone as he recalls that moment, "and she just chose to help others."

Jessie returned home that day and started to assemble brown-paper lunch bags. She plucked tiny trinkets and toys from around the house and filled the bags up with little gifts. The presents certainly weren't much, yet the gesture was everything. Her parents figured small jars would work even better, and Jessie's middle name was Joy. JoyJars. Jessie's eyes lit up at the name. That's what they would be called. And so every Monday from then on, Jessie and her dad would fill little JoyJars with toys for sick kids.

The reaction at the hospital was remarkable. "Can I keep this?!" children asked giddily. The answer was yes, of course. All over Jessie's hospital, and soon other hospitals in the Orange County area, hospital rooms of little boys and girls filled up with JoyJars.

Jessie's condition got worse. Her vision ebbed. Her headaches became more severe. Her legs, the same ones that propelled her through the water so quickly, could hardly hold her up. There were nights when Erik had to carry his daughter up the stairs to bed, holding back tears as he prayed the next day would be easier. It often wasn't. Jessie told her dad she felt "lonely and limited." Her friends wouldn't know what to say as her face bloated and she started having to wear a mask. "Her body," Erik says, "got stripped away."

And yet Jessie's power got stronger. Hundreds signed up to follow her on Facebook. Then thousands. Then tens of thousands. The swimming community began to talk about her story, even as the Olympic year drew closer. Soon the Reeses would need a warehouse for all the JoyJars.

On January 4, 2011, the Reeses put their daughter to bed. She was having headaches again. That was somewhat normal by then. But the next morning, at around 4:30, Stacey rushed into the bedroom after checking on Jessie. She couldn't wake her up.

Hospice was called. The nurses came and did everything to make Jessie more comfortable. "At 11:10 a.m.," Erik says, "she took her last breath." She was 12.

Yet as life left her body, a spark caught flame. People across the country had heard about the JoyJars, and Jessie's passing made a wave of news. Kaitlin Sandeno, the former Olympic swimmer, had been in touch with the family and decided she would attend the memorial. She arrived at Saddleback Church and was overcome: 5,000 people were there. Nearly that many watched online.

Sandeno started recruiting fellow swimmers and athletes from USC, where she went to school. She had a budding career as a swim coach but she decided to give that up to help the movement. This was more important. "I let go of the swim school and the private coaching," Sandeno says. "This is what I want to do."

Jessie had a motto: "Never Ever Give Up," or NEGU. That became Sandeno's motto and the motto of dozens of athletes across the country. Over the course of 2012, Olympians and NFL players started going to children's hospitals with JoyJars. Three Jacksonville Jaguars, led by quarterback Jordan Palmer, signed up to help. Erik says Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has shown interest in being a spokesperson.

"There are more than 20,000 children right now in hospital beds fighting cancer," Erik says. "Their parents have to work, so they are entertained by the hospital staff. These kids, if a person comes in with a professional jersey on, they don't care who it is. They feel special."

There are now 35 athletes working with NEGU, and Rees hopes to have 100 by the end of this year. "I feel like we really do bring a sense of joy, and the athletes benefit just as much," says Sandeno, who is now a national spokesperson. "To see the other athletes' reaction – 'When can I do another one?' – this isn't a favor. This is awesome. You're providing a cool thing for people to give back."

There aren't many who give back in a full lifetime what Jessie Rees gave back in just 12 years. What began with a few paper bags and a few toys has now reached 11 countries. In 2012 alone, 47,000 kids received JoyJars.

Christmas was very hard for the Rees family. Erik and Stacey have two other kids, Shaya and J.T., but there was an empty stocking by the tree. This weekend will mark one year since Jessie passed. It will be a difficult moment to bear; what would Jessie have done with her life this year?

Then again, the answer to that question is clear and somewhat soothing. Had she lived, Jessie would have noticed all the kids around her, whether at the pool or in the hospital. She would have considered their situation, be it happy or sad. And then the little voice in her head would have asked, "What can I do to help them?"

[PaPa]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

verbiage.

Am i the only one who is bothered by this phrase, when used to describe a victim of violence?

"They were in the wrong place at the wrong time"

*i* feel this somehow puts the victim at fault, even though it is not intended that way, and that really bothers me.

Is it just me?

Blaming the victim occurs a lot, Dee. There are college topics on this all the time in the 'Helping' fields...burns me right up too...

She wore that low-cut dress so she got what she was askin' for...
If she didn't want it then why did she dress that way? WHA?? Men are not expected to have control over their own urges?? Gimme a break!

[cinnamongrrl]

Starting my day out with yoga

[Hollylane]

Does confidence really breed success?

Research suggests that more and more American university students think they are something special. High self-esteem is generally regarded as a good thing - but could too much of it actually make you less successful?

About nine million young people have filled out the American Freshman Survey, since it began in 1966.

It asks students to rate how they measure up to their peers in a number of basic skills areas - and over the past four decades, there has been a dramatic rise in the number of students who describe themselves as being "above average" for academic ability, drive to achieve, mathematical ability and self-confidence.

This was revealed in a new analysis of the survey data, by US psychologist Jean Twenge and colleagues.

Self-appraisals of traits that are less individualistic - such as co-operativeness, understanding others and spirituality - saw little change, or a decrease, over the same period.

Twenge adds that while the Freshman Survey shows that students are increasingly likely to label themselves as gifted in writing ability, objective test scores indicate that actual writing ability has gone down since the 1960s.

And while in the late 1980s, almost half of students said they studied for six or more hours a week, the figure was little over a third by 2009 - a fact that sits rather oddly, given there has been a rise in students' self-proclaimed drive to succeed during the same period.

Another study by Twenge suggested there has been a 30% tilt towards narcissistic attitudes in US students since 1979.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines narcissism as: "Excessive self-love or vanity; self-admiration, self-centredness."

"Our culture used to encourage modesty and humility and not bragging about yourself," says Twenge. "It was considered a bad thing to be seen as conceited or full of yourself."

Not everyone with high self-esteem is a narcissist. Some positive views of the self may be harmless and in fact quite justified.

But one in four recent students responded to a questionnaire, the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, in a way which leaned towards narcissistic views of the self.

Though some have argued that narcissism is an essential trait, Twenge and her colleagues see it as negative and destructive.

In The Narcissism Epidemic, co-written with Keith Campbell, Twenge blames the growth of narcissistic attitudes on a range of trends - including parenting styles, celebrity culture, social media and access to easy credit, which allows people to appear more successful than they are.

"What's really become prevalent over the last two decades is the idea that being highly self-confident - loving yourself, believing in yourself - is the key to success.

"Now the interesting thing about that belief is it's widely held, it's very deeply held, and it's also untrue."

This bewitching idea - that people's lives will improve with their self-esteem - led to what came to be known as The Self-Esteem Movement.

Legions of self-help books have propagated the idea that we each have it within us to achieve great things - we just need to be more confident.

Over 15,000 journal articles have examined the links between high self-esteem and measurable outcomes in real life, such as educational achievement, job opportunities, popularity, health, happiness and adherence to laws and social codes.

Yet there is very little evidence that raising self-esteem leads to tangible, positive outcomes.

"If there is any effect at all, it is quite small," says Roy Baumeister of Florida State University. He was the lead author of a 2003 paper that scrutinised dozens of self-esteem studies.

He found that although high self-esteem frequently had a positive correlation with success, the direction of causation was often unclear. For example, are high marks awarded to people with high self-esteem or does getting high marks engender high self-esteem?

And a third variable can influence both self-esteem and the positive outcome.

"Coming from a good family might lead to both high self-esteem and personal success," says Baumeister.

"Self-control is much more powerful and well-supported as a cause of personal success. Despite my years invested in research on self-esteem, I reluctantly advise people to forget about it."

This doesn't mean that under-confident people will be more successful in school, in their careers or in sport.

"You need to believe that you can go out and do something but that's not the same as thinking that you're great," says Twenge. She gives the example of a swimmer attempting to learn a turn - this person needs to believe that they can acquire that skill, but a belief that they are already a great swimmer does not help.

Forsyth and Kerr studied the effect of positive feedback on university students who had received low grades (C, D, E and F). They found that the weaker students actually performed worse if they received encouragement aimed at boosting their self-worth.

"An intervention that encourages [students] to feel good about themselves, regardless of work, may remove the reason to work hard," writes Baumeister.

So do young people think they are better than they are?

If they are, perhaps the appropriate response is not condemnation but pity.

The narcissists described by Twenge and Campbell are often outwardly charming and charismatic. They find it easy to start relationships and have more confidence socially and in job interviews. Yet their prognosis is not good.

"In the long-term, what tends to happen is that narcissistic people mess up their relationships, at home and at work," says Twenge.

Narcissists may say all the right things but their actions eventually reveal them to be self-serving.

As for the narcissists themselves, it often not until middle age that they notice their life has been marked by an unusual number of failed relationships.

But it's not something that is easy to fix - narcissists are notorious for dropping out of therapy.

"It's a personality trait," says Twenge. "It's by definition very difficult to change. It's rooted in genetics and early environment and culture and things that aren't all that malleable."

Things also don't look good for the many young people who - although not classed as narcissists - have a disproportionately positive self-view.

A 2006 study led by John Reynolds of Florida State University found that students are increasingly ambitious, but also increasingly unrealistic in their expectations, creating what he calls "ambition inflation".

"Since the 1960s and 1970s, when those expectations started to grow, there's been an increase in anxiety and depression," says Twenge.

"There's going to be a lot more people who don't reach their goals."

Jean Twenge spoke to Health Check on the BBC World Service

[Hollylane]

Have a history teacher explain this if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."

Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

AND...................:

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse...

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater...

[starryeyes]

Finally understanding how a cylinder and piston work in an engine. Understanding blow by, combustion and spark. <---- mind is expanded!

[Hollylane]

Barack Obama made history on Monday when he became the first president to speak about the Stonewall uprising and the gay rights struggle during an inaugural speech.

While many in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community were thrilled with the mentions, an 11-year-old transgender girl named Sadie wondered why the President didn't directly address trans people, too.



"Sadie was so proud of President Obama for including the gay community in his inaugural address on Monday; however, she felt like the trans community wasn't included," Sage, Sadie's mother, told The Huffington Post on Tuesday. "That inspired her to write her own 'speech.'"

The speech, which began making the rounds on the Internet soon after the President spoke and was published in full on the TransGriot site, reads:

Sadie socially transitioned from male to female in kindergarten. She was home schooled until this year and is now in fifth grade and attending public school. A vegan, she loves anything that "protects the environment," as well as reading, swimming, basketball and texting her friends. She listens to Lady Gaga, Pink and Justin Bieber and wants to work for Green Peace when she grows up. She also wants to be a mom.

Though Sadie has been openly discriminated against, her mother says that she "isn't shy or ashamed of who she is," and adds, "I'm always 'on' when we go out because I never know when she'll strike up a conversation with the person in front of her in line at Trader Joe's. When she chats with people, she introduces herself as, 'Hi, I'm Sadie, my favorite color is pink, I'm vegan, and I'm transgender. Who are you?'"

Sage says she encouraged Sadie to write the essay because she thought "it might help empower her and overcome any feelings of oppression." In the end she says that she wants Sadie "to know that she has a voice. My dream for her is that she will be happy. That's all, really. I just want her to be happy."

[justanolecowboy]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

verbiage.

Am i the only one who is bothered by this phrase, when used to describe a victim of violence?

"They were in the wrong place at the wrong time"

*i* feel this somehow puts the victim at fault, even though it is not intended that way, and that really bothers me.

Is it just me?

No - you are not the only one bothered - I do believe it is not intended that way - but (yes) - the phrasing does lean toward the victim of the circumstance being at fault.

[~ocean]

~ I listened ~

[Hollylane]

Couples of Color Scarce in Formulaic Gay Cinema

Deron Dalton

Journalist

During my rare free time I love to watch movies. Usually I go through a period of watching a particular genre, then I move on to another. This past summer I became highly intrigued by LGBT cinema, particularly LGBT films focused on gay men. The films I was watching were mainly on Netflix.

Some of the films I watched were dramas, and some were comedies with a lot of romance, but all were gay-themed. As I moved through them, I noticed a common formula, especially in gay romantic comedies: An average-looking (but attractive in an adorable way) white male becomes interested in a hotter, confident and charming white male. The movie's plot is typically built around the funny obstacles, lies and deceptions that arise when these two archetypes date or become close friends, and that eventually brings them together in the end. This formula, or some variation on it, could be found in literally every gay-themed movie I watched. I sought out different types of gay-themed cinema, but all the films I came across utilized that common formula. It started to bother me that there were rarely black or Latino males in prevalent roles, and Asian-American males were almost nonexistent in these films. A lesbian or transgender character might be added to the mix in a smaller role, but rarely with depth. Heck, "fag hags" had more screen time than did characters of color and diverse gender identities!

Here is a list of movies I enjoyed this past summer that I thought could have used more diversity:

The Eating Out series (2004 to 2011): This series epitomizes the gay romantic comedy. All five movies focus on an average-looking white guy who uses lies and deceit to win over some smokin'-hot white guy. At the end of each 90-minute movie, the two men are somehow in each other's arms. Well, the couple in the fourth movie does not get back together until the end of the fifth movie, but it's the same thing.

Adam & Steve (2005): In this movie the average-looking white guy is Adam (Craig Chester), who also happens to be an ex-addict, and the hot white guy is Steve (Malcolm Gets), who also happens to be a successful psychiatrist. They first meet in 1987, when Adam is a goth kid and Steve is a Dazzle Dancer. They plan to hook up, but in a nice twist on the formula, Steve comically embarrasses himself and runs out. Seventeen years later they meet again and actually date. When Steve figures out who Adam is and realizes that he might have caused Adam's drug addiction, he breaks up with him... but it's a romantic comedy, so the breakup doesn't last, of course.

Another Gay Movie (2006): The title says it all. It's actually a parody of teen comedies like American Pie and gay-themed romantic comedies. Although the film is well-rounded and pokes fun at gay culture, lesbians and people of color have very small roles.

BearCity (2010): This one doesn't follow the formula exactly. It's about the bear community, a subculture of the gay community that doesn't get a lot of representation in gay media. The movie focuses on a skinny, above-average-looking twink, Tyler (Joe Conti), who has a thing for bears. Through some bear friends he meets Roger (Gerald McCullouch), a muscle bear. Roger is hesitant about Tyler, because the latter is from outside the community, so he lies about how he feels. The two go through the typical obstacles until they get together in the end.

Is It Just Me? (2010): This one is very similar to the Eating Out films. To sum it up, a newspaper writer, Blaine (Nicholas Downs), begins an online relationship with Xander (David Loren), who believes that Blaine is his sexy roommate, Cameron (Adam Huss). I know, that was a word-full for me, too!

These films are fantastic, non-mainstream movies, but like primetime television series, they lack representations of gay people of color, especially within gay relationships. But interracial couples and couples of color definitely exist within the gay community, and people (including me) love to see characters in the media that they can relate to. Nevertheless, gay-themed romantic films tend to leave them out, and when these films do include gay characters of color, black gay characters typically fulfill the "black man on the down-low" stereotype, and Latino/Hispanic gay characters usually fulfill the "hot-and-sexy Latin lover" stereotype.

For those reasons outlined above, gay and straight filmmakers should be inspired to include more gay characters of color in their work.

[nycfem]

Bear City was very helpful to BB's youngest son (my step-son) who is in college and came out as a bear (a cub, heh heh) which is an extra challenge after coming out as gay because it is a specific subculture and not as mainstream as coming out just as gay is. Before he came out to us, BB and I watched Bear City and with him at home, and it was a great bridge to use for him to gain confidence and to open up with us.

[Hollylane]

It's the birthday of the first woman to graduate from medical school, Elizabeth Blackwell, born on this day in Bristol, England, in 1821. She wanted to become a doctor because she knew that many women would rather discuss their health problems with another woman. She read medical texts and studied with doctors, but she was rejected by all the big medical schools. Finally the Geneva Medical College (which became Hobart College) in upstate New York accepted her. The faculty wasn't sure what to do with such a qualified candidate, and so they turned the decision over to the students. The male students voted unanimously to accept her. Her classmates and even professors considered many medical subjects too delicate for a woman, and didn't think she should be allowed to attend lectures on the reproductive system. But she graduated, became a doctor, and opened the New York Infirmary for Women and Children.

[DamonK]

That one instant this evening, walking to the car, a brilliant sunset, taking my breath away, knowing immediately who I wanted to share it with, and having that feeling consume my entire being.

[jcisbutch]

my good friend Jaison and I discussed the physics of a pressure cooker and like the dorks we are googled alot of information and came up with a theory to support our hypothesis.....in other words we both had way too mcuh time on our hands lol

[TimilDeeps]

Insect Growth Regulators

[Hollylane]

[DamonK]

The dream I had, knowing what it means.

[AmazonWoman1]

I found this in my email today.It was amazingly serendipitous which is what expanded my mind today to remember how the universe always is there for you & to make me so thankful.

“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy

Are you judgmental? Not many people would be aware if they were, let alone admit to being so, but it’s so easy to form an opinion about a person or situation without knowing all the facts.

What if the conclusions people spring to could really hurt someone? I like to think there are very few people who would actively want to upset others. Has someone passed judgment on you? What can you do if you feel misunderstood?

I want to share with you an unpleasant situation I was in recently, which has had a great impact upon my personal growth.

A few years ago in my thirties, I was in a car accident that caused me some spinal damage and exacerbated a pre-existing pelvic condition, subsequently leaving me initially in a wheelchair.

Currently, I am at a stage where I can now stand unaided and potter around a bit, but I still rely on a wheelchair or crutches for more than short periods of standing or walking.

One evening my partner surprised me with theatre tickets. I hadn’t been getting out much—outings now need to be meticulously planned—so I was really excited.

We were lucky enough to be able to park in the disabled bays right outside the venue (I am registered disabled and have a badge). We sat in the car and discussed whether I should take my crutches inside, as I was quite anxious about blocking the aisles. We decided that with his support I would manage the few steps inside without them.

The first upset of the evening was getting out of the car. A man queuing for a space behind wound down his car window and shouted that we should be ashamed of ourselves for parking there. We clearly didn’t “look” disabled and we literally “made him sick.” Hmmm.

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. I have a hidden disability, and unless I am in a wheelchair or using an aid, I look perfectly “normal” and am (relatively) young.

I tried to concentrate on the show for the first half, but the evening had been ruined for me by then. In the interval I needed the bathroom. The female bathrooms are down two flights of stairs (no elevator), which I couldn’t manage, so I went into the disabled bathroom on the ground floor.

When I came out, there was a queue of old ladies.

The first lady in the queue took one look at me and declared to her friend in a loud voice “young people are so lazy nowadays.” She looked at me and said “there’s nothing wrong with your legs,” and rapped me across my ankles with her walking stick! I went home in tears.

This evening affected me emotionally for weeks.

Although I shouldn’t need to justify myself to others, I would have been happy to answer genuine questions about my health instead of being met with accusations and aggression, but after much reflection I realized that forgiveness was the only way to move forward.

The points below really helped me to come to terms with how judgmental people can be.

1. The only person who can know the absolute truth about you is you.

People can and will have opinions, but never start to doubt yourself. Have absolute faith in who you are and don’t let another’s “idea” of you become your reality.

2. Ultimately, the opinion that really matters is yours.

If somebody doesn’t agree with what you are doing or how you are behaving, don’t feel pressured into changing. Have the courage of your convictions, even when others disagree or don’t understand.

3. People can’t “make” you feel anything.

I felt ashamed after being judged so harshly. I felt my body had failed me, putting me in that situation, and shame soon spiraled into self-loathing. I recognize now that these are feelings I had underlying anyway, and the situation just bought them to the surface. I know now we can choose how we want to feel and I choose to be happy.

4. Someone else’s judgment will be far more important to you.

It is so easy to dwell on things, but putting negative energy into running a scenario over and over in your mind is detrimental to your health. Although I found their remarks about me hurtful for weeks afterward, I doubt if the old lady or the man above ever gave me a second thought. Focus your energy on the positive things.

5. We don’t need to try to read people’s minds.

If we do not have compete trust in our actions, it can be easy to sense disapproval from others that may not even be there and then unnecessarily alter our actions accordingly. If you want an honest opinion, ask. Clear communication is far easier than second-guessing.

6. Forgiveness sets you free.

I am an honest person, and having my integrity brought into question momentarily resulted in anger and bitterness. Harboring this would ultimately have had absolutely no effect on anybody else but me. By forgiving, I have freed myself from this situation. Learn to accept an apology even if, especially if, it’s not actually offered.

7. Compassion changes everything.

People with limited vision and steadfast opinions will have a harder life than me. I send them love. Everyone deserves kindness. Always.

I hope you never find yourself being unfairly judged, or indeed forming an opinion of your own without all the facts, but if you do I hope my story can help you.