Poly Relationships

[Ms. Meander]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Hi there!

Thank you so much for sharing this. i thing i have learned is that communication and 100% honesty, which includes divulging ALL that needs to be divulged is KEY to poly. Those little bumps need to be nipped in the bud to avoid a full blown problem down the line.

i have a rule that i talk about sometimes. It's kind of a 2 day thing. If something is bothering me after a couple of days, i need to talk about it. i sometimes have a knee jerk reaction to things, and i am trying to work on that. i am also working on not taking other people's behaviors personally.

Holding back on what needs to be discussed is damaging. Hearing the truth can be painful, but anything less will only make matters worse.

I like the two day rule idea. For me it's more about holding back but I do like to take some time and check my own motives. Trouble comes when I wait too long.

What I'm finding interesting, in my case, is that I am dating. Anything I have going on is still new. But I'm finding that my old "dating rules" do not all apply. There is much more intention and a little less "waiting to see what happens". I am finding it necessary to communicate in ways I normally wouldn't so early in a relationship - in order to nip things in the bud, as you say, or really get things off on the right foot. It may seem as if some spontaneity is taken away but in reality, it is liberating.