Marriage Titles

Chancie · 03-29-2013, 04:07 AM

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

The_Lady_Snow · 03-29-2013, 06:28 AM

We use Master and slave, my parents being who they are call him *El Grande* cause my mother has a hard time with calling him slave and pronouncing his name.

Heteronormative titles don't really fit our union, we aren't ever really going to purposefully blend in so what we refer to each other as will be non conventional.

~baby~doll~ · 06-24-2013, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

We use Master and slave...

Hetero-normative titles don't really fit our union, we aren't ever really going to purposefully blend in so what we refer to each other as will be non conventional.

i have to go along with Snow here. The hetero-normative terms just do not fit. Master would be replaced with Goddess or Mistress though. i speak of my partner usually as my Goddess and even in the straight community they see it as a term of love or respect. i may say, "my Goddess is over there." and get no strange looks.

Maverick · 03-29-2013, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chancie

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

Good question! I agree, I'm tired of the term "partner" and its blandness. My lady likes the term wife and will use that I believe. Husbutch is a cool idea. I keep trying to picture the person marrying us saying "I now pronounce you ________ and wife!" or "Wife and ________", "Wife and wife"? Eh.. "Husbutch and wife" is better. The cool thing is we get to invent what's right for us and don't have to stick with the traditional hetero wordings if we don't want to. Years ago we made up a secret pet word to use in public for each other where we didn't feel safe or comfortable to say "honey" or 'sweetie" etc. We still use that word a lot but not because we're being stealth anymore. We just love the word now for what it represents to us.

clay · 03-29-2013, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chancie

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

To answer your question, yes, I would.
Though personally not really hung up on titles, per se, I am comfortable with anything respectable.

Chancie · 03-29-2013, 02:38 PM

We use partner all the time. I don't think anyone has ever thought we own a business together. Our respective families use it too. I think Pete uses 'old lady' sometimes when she's talking about me, which I find charming and kind of funny.

I'm talking about running into a colleague or a friend from the gym, someone you know but your honey doesn't know. If you were in the supermarket or something, would you use 'husbutch'?

Kobi · 03-29-2013, 03:44 PM

I am very comfortable with partner, significant other, or spouse.

As a woman who loves being a woman and does woman her way, I would not be comfortable with something like husbutch, cuz it doesn't reflect who I am.

The only pronouncement I want to hear after our vows is..... I now pronounce you married in the eyes of the law and God.

Toughy · 03-29-2013, 03:51 PM

I like the term.....beloved

In ceremonies in SF, I have heard folks pronounced spouse and spouse. I believe on the gender neutral CA marriage license (when it was legal), the paperwork said: spouse 1 and spouse 2.

Ascot · 03-29-2013, 04:11 PM

An ex of mine has a sister who refers to her husband as "my friend". The first time we stayed with them and I heard her say that I was a bit taken aback, but only because I found myself thinking, "What? I thought they were married." I asked my girlfriend about it later and she said, "Oh, yeah, they are married, but my sister thinks "friend" is a much more meaningful honorific.". The point is, as others have said, go with what works for you. Let it evolve as it is wont to do.

Me, I like the ol' classic "ball and chain."

o222Good · 03-30-2013, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chancie

For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

I have given this some thought, and my answer is this. It comes down to whether I am talking to a straight person, in which case, I would not. Only because they wouldn't get it. I actually don't have any straight friends, so I'm not sure if this would happen anyway. Thanks for a good question!

julieisafemme · 03-30-2013, 06:39 PM

I love wife! I am happy to be a wife. Greyson prefers spouse for him. Husbutch is fine within the queer community for him but I would not use it with straight people. He will be my spouse.

MsTinkerbelly · 03-30-2013, 08:20 PM

When we were married we had ourselves pronounced as " I now pronounce you as married in the eyes of God and man", And we call each other wife in public. When we say wife it is immediately understood we are queer.

Not personally fond of husbutch, but to each his own.

Gemme · 03-30-2013, 09:03 PM

I give him many titles.

Asshat. Jerk. Baby. Daddy. Snickerdoodle.

He gives me many titles.

Smartass. Brat. Babygirl. Evil incarnate.

Publicly, though I prefer classic and simple terms.

I call him love or my love.

Occasionally, I will address him to others as my other half.

LaDivina · 03-30-2013, 09:22 PM

I call Scorp my wifeband

or spouse, depending on who I'm talking to. I like beloved, though...I might have to start saying that.

She calls me wife. Or wifey-poo.

In our wedding, the officiant (Scorp's cousin) said, "I now pronounce you spouses for life."

o222Good · 03-30-2013, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

" I now pronounce you as married in the eyes of God and man"

Wow! I love this!
Thank you MsTinkerbelly!

03-29-2013, 06:28 AM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,078 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	We We use Master and slave, my parents being who they are call him El Grande cause my mother has a hard time with calling him slave and pronouncing his name. Heteronormative titles don't really fit our union, we aren't ever really going to purposefully blend in so what we refer to each other as will be non conventional. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

03-29-2013, 03:44 PM	#7
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I am very comfortable with partner, significant other, or spouse. As a woman who loves being a woman and does woman her way, I would not be comfortable with something like husbutch, cuz it doesn't reflect who I am. The only pronouncement I want to hear after our vows is..... I now pronounce you married in the eyes of the law and God. __________________

03-29-2013, 03:51 PM	#8
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,654 Times in 1,523 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I like the term.....beloved In ceremonies in SF, I have heard folks pronounced spouse and spouse. I believe on the gender neutral CA marriage license (when it was legal), the paperwork said: spouse 1 and spouse 2. __________________ We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate www.butchfemmesocials.com/

03-29-2013, 04:11 PM	#9
Ascot Member How Do You Identify?: Preppy Butch artist Relationship Status: Riding solo Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North of the Emerald City Posts: 1,135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 179 Thanked 2,487 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	An ex of mine has a sister who refers to her husband as "my friend". The first time we stayed with them and I heard her say that I was a bit taken aback, but only because I found myself thinking, "What? I thought they were married." I asked my girlfriend about it later and she said, "Oh, yeah, they are married, but my sister thinks "friend" is a much more meaningful honorific.". The point is, as others have said, go with what works for you. Let it evolve as it is wont to do. Me, I like the ol' classic "ball and chain." __________________ Now, if I could just find a way to get paid for what I can do with my tongue and a cherry stem.

03-30-2013, 06:39 PM	#11
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,434 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I love wife! I am happy to be a wife. Greyson prefers spouse for him. Husbutch is fine within the queer community for him but I would not use it with straight people. He will be my spouse. __________________ Happiness Bubbling!

03-29-2013, 04:07 AM	#1
Chancie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme-inist Relationship Status: I'm lucky. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Western Mass Posts: 3,774 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,518 Thanked 14,540 Times in 2,744 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	For those of you who prefer the title 'husbutch', do you see yourselves using that word out and about, in your everyday lives?

03-29-2013, 02:38 PM	#6
Chancie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme-inist Relationship Status: I'm lucky. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Western Mass Posts: 3,774 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,518 Thanked 14,540 Times in 2,744 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	We use partner all the time. I don't think anyone has ever thought we own a business together. Our respective families use it too. I think Pete uses 'old lady' sometimes when she's talking about me, which I find charming and kind of funny. I'm talking about running into a colleague or a friend from the gym, someone you know but your honey doesn't know. If you were in the supermarket or something, would you use 'husbutch'?

03-30-2013, 08:20 PM	#12
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,906 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	When we were married we had ourselves pronounced as " I now pronounce you as married in the eyes of God and man", And we call each other wife in public. When we say wife it is immediately understood we are queer. Not personally fond of husbutch, but to each his own. Last edited by MsTinkerbelly; 03-30-2013 at 08:28 PM.

03-30-2013, 09:03 PM	#13
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	I give him many titles. Asshat. Jerk. Baby. Daddy. Snickerdoodle. He gives me many titles. Smartass. Brat. Babygirl. Evil incarnate. Publicly, though I prefer classic and simple terms. I call him love or my love. Occasionally, I will address him to others as my other half. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

03-30-2013, 09:22 PM	#14
LaDivina Member How Do You Identify?: Lady-femme Preferred Pronoun?: Lady-ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Massachusetts Posts: 524 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,084 Thanked 1,725 Times in 413 Posts Rep Power: 20699138	I call Scorp my wifeband or spouse, depending on who I'm talking to. I like beloved, though...I might have to start saying that. She calls me wife. Or wifey-poo. In our wedding, the officiant (Scorp's cousin) said, "I now pronounce you spouses for life."

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