Friends of Bill W.

[tomboystud]

July 5
Exploring spiritual options
“The nature of our belief will determine the manner of our prayers and meditation.”
Basic Text, p. 44
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How do we pray? For each NA member, this is a deeply personal matter. Many of us find that, over time, we develop a manner of prayer and meditation based on what we learn from others and what we are comfortable with.
Some of us arrive in NA with a closed mind toward a Power greater than ourselves. But when we sit down with our sponsor and discuss our difficulty, looking at the Second Step in depth, we are pleased to find that we can choose any concept of a Higher Power that appeals to us.
Just as our definition of a Power greater than ourselves differs from addict to addict, so does our manner of achieving a “conscious contact.” Some attend religious services; some chant; some sit quietly or talk with whatever is out there; some find a spiritual connection by communing with nature. The “right way” to pray and meditate is whatever way helps us improve our conscious contact with our own Higher Power.
Asking others how they found their spiritual guidance is always a good place to begin. Reading literature before we enter periods of meditation can also help us. Many have gone before us on this search. As we seek spiritual growth, we can greatly benefit from their experience.
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Just for today: I will explore my options for improving my conscious contact with the God of my understanding.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 6


What is at the Eye of the Storm?


Serenity is the alignment of three knowledges
1. Knowing that I am not without skill, talent, gifts.
2. Knowing that I am not without community, connection, comfort.
3. Knowing that I am not without G-d, whether or not I believe G-d is able to intervene.
When I am in full or even partial possession of these three I am safe from storm, or no, drought or no, fiery hairy pestilence and without this knowledge everything is storm, drought and pestilence, no matter what anyone else says or all evidence to the contrary. I will make my own mess when bereft. I will pay a large price for ignoring the facts and the lion’s share of this loss is loss of my serenity.



Disrupt the effectiveness of negativity

*

THE BEAR

Living with my disease is like having
A sleeping Bear in the house.
I knew it was there, could hear it snore.

I never felt comfortable or able to turn my back
On it and get on with my life.
I felt under certain threat.

Fearing the bear would wake
When my attention was elsewhere
I proceeded to poke it with a stick.

I prodded it to wakefulness
In retrospect it is clear I was unprepared
For a wakeful bear.

Even with my full attention fixed on the brute
The Bear, which is my disease, roamed about the house
And made forays out into the world.

I had no plan or tool for these events
Finding a legion of people who had worked out
Living arrangements with their Bears
I happily joined their ranks.

My Bear wakes and sleeps at its will
But I am no longer afraid or unskilled
At handling this creature
Today I am so grateful for the Bear in my life.

I would never want a life without it
I live in a world filled with Bears
And would be at a loss as how to exist
If not for the practice and success
With the Bear that is my own.

[tomboystud]

July 6
"I'm sorry"
“The main thing [the Eighth Step] does for us is to help build awareness that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves and how we deal with other people.”
Basic Text, p. 39
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To say “I’m sorry” probably isn’t such a foreign idea to most of us. In our active addiction, it may have been a very familiar phrase. We were always telling people how sorry we were, and were probably deeply surprised when someone, tired of our meaningless apologies, responded with, “You sure are. In fact, you’re the sorriest excuse for...” That may have been our first clue that an “I’m sorry” didn’t really make any difference to those we harmed, especially when we both knew that we’d just do the same thing again.
Many of us thought that making amends would be another “I’m sorry.” However, the action we take in those steps is entirely different. Making amends means to make changes and, above all, to make the situation right. If we stole money, we don’t just say, “I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again now that I’m clean.” We pay the money back. If we neglected or abused our families, we don’t just apologize. We begin to treat them with respect.
Amending our behavior and the way we treat ourselves and others is the whole purpose of working the steps. We’re no longer just “sorry”; we’re responsible.
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Just for today: I accept responsibility for myself and my recovery. Today, I will amend some particular thing I’m sorry for.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 7


Keeping My Seat


I can sit through this. I can do it even when I don’t remember that I want to. I will get through this no matter how it tweaks me and I squirm in my seat. In spite of the unfairness of it all, I can do what is right, because that is what is best for me. Acting out or giving up are options that I have, but I like me too much to choose so poorly. When this is all settled I will still have me no matter what else I gain or lose. If I don’t like me anymore I have lost everything, if I can hold my head up, proud of my behavior this is the most valuable gain. Love is only love if I am still here to feel it, so I will sit still.






Set group goals for your tiny terrors


*

TIME TABLES

I know the train is coming
And I want to read the schedule
I hear rumors that the convoy going to
Feeling will arrive in two years.

The five-year expedition to getting my brains back
Seems unlikely but is often commented on in meetings.
Excursions to far-off destinations such as
Functional and Reasonable have me on my feet
In gleeful anticipation.

Still I wish for a clear mapping of time.
I feel I could leave off the worrying
About the How of it if only I could
Be sure of the When.

This cavalcade of adventure
Would be so much more palatable
With a well written itinerary.

[tomboystud]

July 7
God in each other
“One aspect of our spiritual awakening comes through the new understanding of our Higher Power that we develop by sharing another addict’s recovery.”
Basic Text, p. 52
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We’ve heard it said that we often see God most clearly in one another. We see the truth of this when we practice our Twelfth Step. When we carry the recovery message to another addict, we sense the presence of a Power greater than ourselves. And as we watch the message take hold, we realize something else: It’s the message that brings recovery, not the messenger. A Higher Power, not our own power, is the source of the change that begins when we carry the message to a still-suffering addict.
As the message does its work, transforming the life of another addict, we see a Higher Power in action. We watch as acceptance and hope replace denial and despair. Before our very eyes, the first traces of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness begin to appear. Something’s happening inside this person, something bigger and more powerful than either of us. We’re watching the God we’ve come to understand at work in someone’s life. We see the Higher Power in them. And we know with greater certainty than ever that this Higher Power is in us, too, as the force driving our recovery.
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Just for today: As I carry the message of recovery to other addicts, I will try to pay attention to the Power behind the message. Today, as I watch other addicts recover, I will try to recognize the God in them so I can better recognize the God in myself.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 8


Tooth Fairies and Super Heroes


I never know who the tooth fairy is going to be. Who might be the one person who will know CPR in my hour of need. Which unlikely friend will whisper to me the secret code to my mental lock. I have been caught off guard by the power of the most unlikely wallflowers. It is important for me not to prejudge, but even more important to leave space for surprise and the delightful aptitude of those around me and for that matter from strangers on the street. Also, it is good for me to remember there is change in my pocket and a resuscitation certificate in my wallet.




Repattern the impressions made on you

*
FAR OFF PLACES

Meetings too near home are unsatisfying to me.
On smooth simple days, local meetings are fine,
I catch a meeting, just slip it in.
On rough days I yearn for an out of town meeting.

After these many 24’s I come to realize I need the ride
As much as I need the meeting.
Like a discontented baby,
I need more that just a trip around the block.

The comfort of taking flight in my car
Is equaled by arriving at some far off AA meeting
Fresh faces and a new take on old woes
Are an antidote to my colicky attitude.

The drive back offers a sense of triumphant homecoming
A good meeting can be had anywhere
Sometimes I just need a change of place
Or a change of pace.

[tomboystud]

July 8
The "G" word
“It is important for you to know that you will hear God mentioned at NA meetings. What we are referring to is a Power greater than ourselves that makes possible what seems impossible.”
IP No. 22, Welcome to NA
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Most of us come to Narcotics Anonymous with a variety of preconceptions about what the word “God” means, many of them negative. Yet the “G” word is used very regularly in NA, if not constantly. It occurs 92 times in the first 103 pages of our Basic Text, and appears prominently in a third of our Twelve Steps. Rather than sidestep the sensitivity many of us feel toward the word, let’s address it head on.
It’s true that Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual program. Our Twelve Steps offer a way to find freedom from addiction through the help of a spiritual Power greater than we are. The program, however, doesn’t tell us anything about what we have to think about that Power. In fact, over and over again, in our literature and our steps and our meetings, we hear it said, “the God of our understanding”—whatever that understanding may be.
We use the word “God” because it’s used in our Basic Text and because it communicates most effectively to most people a basic understanding of the Power underlying our recovery. The word, we use for the sake of convenience. The Power behind the word, however, we use for more than convenience. We use that Power to maintain our freedom from addiction and to ensure our ongoing recovery.
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Just for today: Whether I believe in “God” or not, I will use the Power that keeps me clean and free.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved