Grieving

firegal · 07-28-2013, 09:09 PM

Today I talked to my lil sis,s widow and admitted I've had a hard few days.

On my drive back from Oregon I stopped and bought sunflower seeds and my lil sis was so so present....as she used to eat them to stay awake on her drive home from working a 12 hour graveyard shift.

the hole in my heart is there.....I,m so gratefull she was in my life.

I just want to call her.....love you sis.

ksrainbow · 09-26-2013, 04:55 PM

9/26/11: Its been two years that the pain and suffering left your warm and earthly soul and finally met a kinder and gentler home.

You are loved and missed by many family, friends and all those footprints of nature to whom were touched in so many ways.

Love you Mom,
Nancy

ksrainbow · 10-19-2013, 10:41 AM

10/04/13: This date my Dad left his earthly home to be with my Mom. He was buried 10/11/13 to join my Mom for her 81st birthday! I know it was one hell of a party!

Thank you for bringing me life and all the joys of being your daughter!

Love to both of you!

not2shygrrl · 01-05-2014, 06:47 PM

Just days away from 5 years gone now. Somehow I am reliving that stage of anger, maybe it is selfish, but I need my Mom to hug me, I need the smell of my Mom to soothe me, I need to see her face and the unconditional love she showered on me through all my life choices, I need her to call me saying she needs me to help her, I need to see her smile and hear her laugh. I would not think after 5 years this anger would come back, but it has......and I miss my Ma terribly right now, to hear her say that she loves me......all of it selfish, but still my needs.......I am so pissed off she has not been here......I want her to walk from around the corner and say I am back. I know....I know........she has been gone and not coming back......but for now, for some reason I am reliving it and my heart is breaking all over again as if it was yesterday. I so miss you Mother....I love you.

number6of10

not2shygrrl · 04-22-2015, 06:01 PM

Still does not feel as if you have been gone 6 and 1/2 years now. Still waiting someday to see you walk from around the corner. Still waiting to hear you call for assistance and smell the deliciousness you always created in the kitchen! Still know that you really are gone, and in Heaven. Still wanna deny this. Still my heart is broken. Still miss your presence here terribly. Still thankful for you birthing me into our family and onto this earth! Still hurts like you died yesterday.........Still love you Ma, with all my heart.

number6of10

ksrainbow · 10-04-2023, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ksrainbow

10/04/13: This date my Dad left his earthly home to be with my Mom. He was buried 10/11/13 to join my Mom for her 81st birthday! I know it was one hell of a party!

Thank you for bringing me life and all the joys of being your daughter!

Love to both of you!

I was at the hospital today for physical therapy-I ventured over to room 215. 215 is the room I said goodbye to my Dad. I sure miss him-

Ks-

GeorgiaMa'am · 10-04-2023, 09:32 PM

Today I had another one of those "Oh, I need to ask Dixon . . ." thoughts. Then I remembered, I can't. When will these stop? It hits me in the heart every time.

I'm also learning how much David did emotionally for my boy. The boy is trying to lean on me more and more for different emotional needs, and I just can't fulfill all of them. One reason I think we (were/are) all poly is because we're the kind of people who need more than one person to fill our needs. The boy has needs I will never be able to fill, not because I don't want to, but because I'm just not that person for him, emotionally or physically.

07-28-2013, 09:09 PM	#1
firegal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Don't let the gal part of my screen name fool ya I,m ALL butch! Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Tacoma,Washington Posts: 2,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,853 Thanked 11,702 Times in 2,469 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Missing you my lil sis Today I talked to my lil sis,s widow and admitted I've had a hard few days. On my drive back from Oregon I stopped and bought sunflower seeds and my lil sis was so so present....as she used to eat them to stay awake on her drive home from working a 12 hour graveyard shift. the hole in my heart is there.....I,m so gratefull she was in my life. I just want to call her.....love you sis.

01-05-2014, 06:47 PM	#4
not2shygrrl Member How Do You Identify?: as a Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: under the cover of starry starry nights...enjoying a warm fire in the pit ! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: in a cabin in the woods Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,068 Thanked 2,454 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	has it been that long??? Just days away from 5 years gone now. Somehow I am reliving that stage of anger, maybe it is selfish, but I need my Mom to hug me, I need the smell of my Mom to soothe me, I need to see her face and the unconditional love she showered on me through all my life choices, I need her to call me saying she needs me to help her, I need to see her smile and hear her laugh. I would not think after 5 years this anger would come back, but it has......and I miss my Ma terribly right now, to hear her say that she loves me......all of it selfish, but still my needs.......I am so pissed off she has not been here......I want her to walk from around the corner and say I am back. I know....I know........she has been gone and not coming back......but for now, for some reason I am reliving it and my heart is breaking all over again as if it was yesterday. I so miss you Mother....I love you. number6of10

04-22-2015, 06:01 PM	#5
not2shygrrl Member How Do You Identify?: as a Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: under the cover of starry starry nights...enjoying a warm fire in the pit ! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: in a cabin in the woods Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,068 Thanked 2,454 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	time is seamless.....a few words about missing my Ma, Still does not feel as if you have been gone 6 and 1/2 years now. Still waiting someday to see you walk from around the corner. Still waiting to hear you call for assistance and smell the deliciousness you always created in the kitchen! Still know that you really are gone, and in Heaven. Still wanna deny this. Still my heart is broken. Still miss your presence here terribly. Still thankful for you birthing me into our family and onto this earth! Still hurts like you died yesterday.........Still love you Ma, with all my heart. number6of10

10-04-2023, 09:32 PM	#7
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,455 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,674 Thanked 28,519 Times in 5,824 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Today I had another one of those "Oh, I need to ask Dixon . . ." thoughts. Then I remembered, I can't. When will these stop? It hits me in the heart every time. I'm also learning how much David did emotionally for my boy. The boy is trying to lean on me more and more for different emotional needs, and I just can't fulfill all of them. One reason I think we (were/are) all poly is because we're the kind of people who need more than one person to fill our needs. The boy has needs I will never be able to fill, not because I don't want to, but because I'm just not that person for him, emotionally or physically. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

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09-26-2013, 04:55 PM	#2
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,193 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	9/26/11: Its been two years that the pain and suffering left your warm and earthly soul and finally met a kinder and gentler home. You are loved and missed by many family, friends and all those footprints of nature to whom were touched in so many ways. Love you Mom, Nancy

10-19-2013, 10:41 AM	#3
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,193 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	10/04/13: This date my Dad left his earthly home to be with my Mom. He was buried 10/11/13 to join my Mom for her 81st birthday! I know it was one hell of a party! Thank you for bringing me life and all the joys of being your daughter! Love to both of you!