Too much honesty?

Sweet Bliss · 09-08-2013, 08:02 AM

This topic is one of my favorites. I hear from others, "I don't lie, cheat or steal. " and I say, "of course you do ". Admitting it is the first step towards open communication.

I am truthful about myself to the best of my ability. Yes I have blind spots. That doesn't make me a liar. We all have occasions when we lie.

Roomie : do we have any chips left?

Me: no they're all gone.

Roomie : you ate them all!

Me: no I didn't.

Roomie : you liar,you ate them all!

Me: look. I'm trying to avoid making you throw up. I opened the bag, and roaches were in the chips. Happy now? I tossed them.

She couldn't eat the rest of the evening.

Don't badger me to spill my guts if you can't deal. Keep your egocentric attitude under your hat. What choices I make regarding my life pertain only to me. Personally I couldn't care less what you would or wouldn't do if you were me. You aren't me. I'm not you either. Unless you walk ten miles in my place your commentary is moot.

Being blunt is rarely my MO. Few folks can handle it.

Just be honest with me, is the battle cry, followed by them attacking me for my"honest answers. "

There is no way to predict what version of "truth " someone is expecting from you. My experience has been that the "truth " is not what they are after.

They want assurance.

Ginger · 09-08-2013, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Bliss

...

Being blunt is rarely my MO. Few folks can handle it.

Just be honest with me, is the battle cry, followed by them attacking me for my"honest answers. "

There is no way to predict what version of "truth " someone is expecting from you. My experience has been that the "truth " is not what they are after.

They want assurance.

I think you're right and sometimes I choose to tell the truth whether someone wants to hear it or not—it feels validating to me, sometimes, to be seen clearly, and it's worth alienating someone, even someone I care deeply about.

I've also learned that it's okay to lie if it makes a situation less awkward with someone I'll never see again. Someone asked me out not long ago and I didn't want to go out with her. I didn't say, You're not my type, I just said, I'm not dating now, I'm taking a break. Why make someone feel bad? I assume others have done the same to me.

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09-08-2013, 08:02 AM	#1
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	This topic is one of my favorites. I hear from others, "I don't lie, cheat or steal. " and I say, "of course you do ". Admitting it is the first step towards open communication. I am truthful about myself to the best of my ability. Yes I have blind spots. That doesn't make me a liar. We all have occasions when we lie. Roomie : do we have any chips left? Me: no they're all gone. Roomie : you ate them all! Me: no I didn't. Roomie : you liar,you ate them all! Me: look. I'm trying to avoid making you throw up. I opened the bag, and roaches were in the chips. Happy now? I tossed them. She couldn't eat the rest of the evening. Don't badger me to spill my guts if you can't deal. Keep your egocentric attitude under your hat. What choices I make regarding my life pertain only to me. Personally I couldn't care less what you would or wouldn't do if you were me. You aren't me. I'm not you either. Unless you walk ten miles in my place your commentary is moot. Being blunt is rarely my MO. Few folks can handle it. Just be honest with me, is the battle cry, followed by them attacking me for my"honest answers. " There is no way to predict what version of "truth " someone is expecting from you. My experience has been that the "truth " is not what they are after. They want assurance.