What do you do for closure?

[Amber2010]

Break ups are one of the hardest things I think we have in this world. Sometimes it makes us think why do we even try? When things are good they are so so good. We are smiling even in our sleep. When things start to go it is sometimes so gradual that we are shocked that what made you feel like the happiest person in this world could have ended. I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for four years. I really don't think anyone ever means to hurt someone you truely love; it is just that we change, life changes and what we want changes with time. You try to keep things and compromise but sometimes you just can't.
On a phone hearing each others voices you want to try again. The love is there so you think that will be enough.
Finally an e-mail "letter" is in order. The other person can not make excuses why they are doing what they are or that things will get better in time.
Getting rid of all ways of contact like changing cell phone numbers and taking them off your facebook, e-mail list and getting rid of all pictures, e-mails etc is the very last step. I agree that is the hardest step. Knowing why you broke up doesn't always help it still hurts the pain is still raw. They say time makes it less painful. Maybe unless the memories kick in.
Maybe learning to love ourselves and believe that we did everything we could but sometimes it is just time to let go and know we are not bad people it is just bad siturations. Maybe that helps?

[~baby~doll~]

Great thread! Thank you.
Closure is an interesting topic. It comes in so many ways and happens to me in my place of peace. in the house is a prayer or spiritual space. i recently experienced the death of a dear friend and lover. i hurt to the core. i visited my inner goddess and found my center. it was necessary to focus my energies and take back the shards which broke away by her death. The process has taken months and still continues.
It has been a slow walk through memories and images. i have come to a place where i no longer weep and mourn but find her at peace in my mind.
i believe i have once and for all kicked out the demons who would drag me back into painful mourning.

[Scots_On_The_Rocks]

I do my best to have that one last convo with the person I am needing closure with, but if that is not an option, I write a letter to that person and then burn it.

[betruetoyoursoul]

Originally Posted by ~baby~doll~

Great thread! Thank you.
Closure is an interesting topic. It comes in so many ways and happens to me in my place of peace. in the house is a prayer or spiritual space. i recently experienced the death of a dear friend and lover. i hurt to the core. i visited my inner goddess and found my center. it was necessary to focus my energies and take back the shards which broke away by her death. The process has taken months and still continues.
It has been a slow walk through memories and images. i have come to a place where i no longer weep and mourn but find her at peace in my mind.
i believe i have once and for all kicked out the demons who would drag me back into painful mourning.

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss, may your precious memories help you get through the difficult times...Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...