FTM's and Transitioning

[atomiczombie]

I need some support.

As many of you know, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I am fully clear and confident in my transmasculine/transgender male identity, mind you. I know who I am and who I am not.

That said, I am at a place in my life where it is now time to contact my doctor to start testosterone therapy and transition physically. Now that the moment of truth has arrived, it seems my anxiety has ratcheted up. I don't have doubts about who I am or whether this is really what I want, I swear! I am totally clear about who I am and have been for several years. I want to physically transition. I need to physically transition. I want to feel whole.

So why am I so anxious about making that call? I have no freakin' idea, and I wonder if any other guys have felt this way and how they have dealt with it. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance,

Drew