Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Actually, Lady in leather concept I get. Just like I get Sir or Lord. Both are titles of ownership (Sir &Dame then next hierarchically is Lord & Lady, etc. for those who did not know, Lady trumps a Sir in postion). If I do that, if I'm in my Domme headspace, I prefer "your Grace" by bottoms and subs and slaves in conversation and "Countess" by tops, dom/me etc. if we want to get technical hahahaha.

Though I did get called Dame Baps by smart ass mates in London, which I don't mind at all. Smart ass/taking the piss is always acceptable.

But I do not with those terms to be used in my daily life. It has connotations of behaviour and privilege I don't agree with. If someone wants me to play Lady to their abused Lady's Maid, sure. Or upstart gentleman's valet, sure. But it stays there. I don't bring it out of that context.

I'm too much of a socialist. I like that Canada does not allow Canadians to receive Titles. We kept Conrad black out that way, at least for a while. HA!

The day that when asked "what's the opposite of a lady?" Can be answered with "I'm not sure what them means. I don't understand" will be the day I don't mind it's use applied to me and the day I stop getting mildly irritated with the way that's used in butch-femme communities.

But, I'm not a femme. So I no longer have to have that discussion. I just have to shrug and say "I'm not a femme" and walk on whatever side of the fucking pavement I feel like and swear and eat with my fingers and take my stockings off in the street cause they keep falling down (something I'm quite good at. Cause the shitty stockings in this country have me appalled. I miss Marks and Sparks stay ups. I'm great at sliding off my stockings while walking with someone without much fuss. It's like taking your bra off without taking off your shirt. It can be done smoothly with practice). I find this also seperates those who laugh from those who are horrified or embarrassed.

Blah blah de blah. I'm starting to bore myself a bit. I'm sure I'm putting others into a coma.

HB, I heart you because like you, I am just Snow, a Femme that regardless of what someone says I have to fit into as far as what Femme should be I never have and never will. When I read you I hear you, and I feel you because at times I have wanted to strip myself of Femme because I looked upon my person and NOTHING matched to the cookie cutter misconception of Femme, because it's gender for*me* I can't strip it off, it won't go nowhere, it futile and destructive for *me*..


Just cause I can piss standing up, doesn't mean I not what I choose and have fought hard accept, I am glad you are bringing it up and no, it's not boring it needs to be talked about, because it's important especially when we date, because I can't tell you how many damn times I have lost my mental hard on from having someone have an expectation of how I should behave, it softens my cock, it shuts my brain off and it makes me want to be sadistic and not the good kind of sadistic.

Feminine presentation does not dictate how far I can spit a loogey of I want or how I shouldn't cause that's not "lady like"


Fuck that noise!


So with that said, when dating, it would be best not to date women.femme.femalebodied folk who do not fit your image of what that should be and if someone starts that shit, ask for the check, shake their hand, go get your nails done and go have fun, eventually even if it's just for a fun fuck, you're gonna run into someone, who appreciates the creature you are....


Thanks for always pulling back the curtain, I am glad someone does!