Pansexuality

[candy_coated_bitch]

I agree that sexuality is complicated and often more fluid than we assume. I still identify as Queer, and not pansexual, but I definitely fall on the more fluid side of things.

I have my very, very strong preferences when it comes to affinities and sexual attractions. The Butch/Femme dynamic is where my heart really lies and I have partnered mainly with trans men, though I am also attracted to Butch women and genderqueer folks. People who play with/fuck with gender yank my chain. Every now and again a Femme will catch my eye--usually in a strictly sexual/I want to Dominate them way.

Generally speaking, I am less attracted to cis men. I've never said never, but it hadn't ever happened since I was in high school (till now!). Again, attraction-wise, it's like an every now and again thing. I am attracted to Queer masculinity--so if there is a certain quality a cis man has, I can be attracted. I find myself attracted to really faggy gay men more often than any other gender incarnation on the cis man side of things, and also cis men who aren't "traditionally" masculine. (Whatever that means, but that's the best way I can say it.)

Currently I am partnered with a cis man which is a very unusual experience for me and caused an identity crisis for me for a LONG time. But it forced me to really, REALLY become secure in my identity as a Femme and know that my gender identity is my own and not dependent on who I am and am not fucking. I have always said that about Femmes, but when I was faced with living it--it was really fucking intense.

I've been given shit about my partner, and felt invisible, heartbroken at times, and felt like my Queer identity has been called into question. BUT, I now am more fierce than ever. I can fucking tell you that much.

When it comes down to it, I am into a certain type of magical exchange between masculinity and femininity. I have learned I CAN share that with a cis man. Low and behold. So, who the hell cares? My Femme-ness isn't ANY different than it was before I was with him. I don't know why people have to get so rabid about sexualities that are more fluid, or if someone happens to have a relationship that falls out of what we traditionally think a Butch or FTM or Femme (I know that's not an inclusive list) "SHOULD" have.

Oh, and my partner identifies as pansexual.