Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[tiaras-and-books]

I haven't dated very much, but for me I like some of the old fashioned stuff, like doors being held open for me. It's just nice. I like, too, when I can tell that the date is a little bit of a special occasion for both of us. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but just that someone bothered to look a little extra nice, similar little things, makes me feel a little special.

Personally, I'm broke a whole lot of the time, so I definitely don't mind doing free/inexpensive stuff on dates. I usually plan to pay my own way on everything, unless for some reason it's really important to the other person to pay for the date, in which case I don't have a strong enough opinion on the subject for it to conflict. So inexpensive options make me happy. Mostly I think dates are for spending time with the other person, a getting-to-know-you time or kind of an arranged "let's focus on each other" time. One of my favorite dates for fun-factor was a picnic (the same stuff I was making for dinner anyway, just packed up) at the park with travel Scrabble. They have free concerts once a week all summer at that park, and that's a really nice date, too.

I will say, I've been picked up one or two times for dates when I had to spend five minutes clearing stuff off the passenger seat of their vehicle so that I would have a place to sit, or with the footspace all full of fast food cups and stuff. That I didn't like!

The last man I dated before I sorted out that I wasn't actually straight used to bring me little trinkets when he came to see me, which was kind of neat. Nothing fancy usually - a flower he'd picked on the way over, or a stuffed animal he'd won out of a claw machine. (He was remarkably good at those games, so it never cost him more than a dollar.) But nobody had ever done that, so it just felt incredibly sweet to me. He was a really good date in general - he just treated me beautifully. If I were any kind of straight I'd probably be married to him by now, the sweetheart.

Like I said before, I haven't dated a whole lot, so really I don't have a lot of experience to point me toward anything concrete. But basically what it boils down to is that I want to be treated respectfully and like I'm special to them, that our time together is special to them.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by tiaras-and-books

I will say, I've been picked up one or two times for dates when I had to spend five minutes clearing stuff off the passenger seat of their vehicle so that I would have a place to sit, or with the footspace all full of fast food cups and stuff. That I didn't like!

Lol. I have told this before, but it became a pet peeve. I have had folks pick me up and then go to the ATM and get gas, etc. I get it if you had a particularly busy day -- and you explain that -- or if you've been together a while. But for it to be early on in dating and for the person to not do all those things first . . . red flag. I am serious. DO NOT BORE ME. Kiss of death.

I was on a first date with a butch who had to make a stop for something work related. I waited for 45 minutes. I didn't have a book or anything because who knew? Then she talked about her ex. No second date.

I absolutely will not have my time wasted like that. To me that is so disrespectful. I don't do it to others, whether they are dates or friends or even acquaintances. If I am going to transport someone in my car, I have already put gas in the car and have gone to the ATM.

While I expect everyone to be clean, I don't even notice how people are dressed unless it's super sexy. I could not care less. My colleague said to me yesterday about a student who had just left, "If you had a daughter, would you let her walk out of the house like that?" Honestly, I couldn't even remember what the student had been wearing. I just don't care.

Edited to add: Oh and know how to get where you are going or have GPS or whatever. We can all get lost, but at least have written down the directions or something. I have had a couple of people not know how to get back on the interstate after we have gone somewhere new to both of us. I get lost easily, but I prepare. Anyway, things that are careless and cause me to be bored -- done and done. Maybe it's cruel, but I effing hate to be bored.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I wish I liked dating.