Butches: how do you like to be treated on a date?

Hey You · 03-25-2014, 12:15 AM

Anyone else care to comment? This is actually a really interesting question.

RockOn · 03-25-2014, 02:45 AM

Treated with respect, kindness ... if she likes me on the first date and I like her too, it feels good to me to be lightly touched on the arm, shoulder, thigh ... it feels sort of like a subtle gesture of fondness to me.

Once on a first date, I knocked on her door with a bouquet of roses. When she opened the door, she grabbed my hand, yanked me inside and literally swallowed me whole. I did not like that. Felt way too cheesy ... as in a cheap-themed movie.

Subtle will get my attention.

Redsunflower · 03-30-2014, 05:46 AM

Brilliant thread tiaras-and-books.

*bump*

ForeverMe · 04-10-2014, 02:04 AM

I'm gonna take a turn giving a gentle bump on this one. I think it's a great topic.

tiaras-and-books · 05-24-2014, 03:43 AM

One more bump. I really like hearing what you all have to say.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-24-2014, 05:12 AM

Effortless sharing of laughter on the first will heighten the chances of a second.

Kobi · 05-24-2014, 05:37 AM

My philosophy is, if you need to ask how to treat me on a date, we probably shouldnt be dating

Just like a femme, I wish to be treated well and be made to feel special.

No magic formula involved. Common sense, manners, and interest go a long way.

Treating a date like it is a job interview or an inquisition is not acceptable.

Roman · 10-14-2015, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RockOn

Treated with respect, kindness ... if she likes me on the first date and I like her too, it feels good to me to be lightly touched on the arm, shoulder, thigh ... it feels sort of like a subtle gesture of fondness to me.

Once on a first date, I knocked on her door with a bouquet of roses. When she opened the door, she grabbed my hand, yanked me inside and literally swallowed me whole. I did not like that. Felt way too cheesy ... as in a cheap-themed movie.

Subtle will get my attention.

This is exactly how I feel. I greatly appreciate subtle gestures. To me, there is a lot of power in a subtle gesture. it takes great attention to detail and talent to make a move at the right time in the right way. A few people have mentioned respect. Mastering subtle gestures is definitely a way to show respect. It means you've taken enough interest to realize that being too "touchy-feely" will overwhelm me especially if I haven't been around you much before.

Tuff Stuff · 10-15-2015, 12:06 AM

I still like it when they want to rip my clothes off on the first date..but that's just me.*sigh*

homoe · 10-29-2015, 06:41 PM

I'd like to take priority on a first date! I mean for gods sakes put your phone away and live in the moment! Other than good conversation and your full undivided attention, I'm good!

SaltyButch · 11-01-2015, 01:43 PM

If we have managed to get to a date, it would have been after having had some good conversation. So, I would expect that you would be the same as you have been as I've gotten to know you over the past little while. I am big on manners and am OFOS, so my behaviour will reflect that, don't disrespect me by saying I'm a guy.

Although I know we can get shy I will do my best to make you feel comfortable, it would be appreciated if you would do the same. I'm a self described 2x4 so if you are interested I will need a sign with your flirtatious banter, your slight touch of my arm or that lovely smile. The conversation should flow easily and if at the end of the night we are both feeling it a nice kiss goodbye with plans to meet again.

job · 11-02-2015, 02:15 PM

I don't need to be treated in a particular way. Just smile and be happy. Make me laugh and I will return the favor.

05-24-2014, 05:12 AM	#6
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Effortless sharing of laughter on the first will heighten the chances of a second. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

10-15-2015, 12:06 AM	#9
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	Forgot about this one.. I still like it when they want to rip my clothes off on the first date..but that's just me.sigh

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03-25-2014, 12:15 AM	#1
Hey You Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single and waiting :) Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Australia Posts: 127 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4 Thanked 220 Times in 47 Posts Rep Power: 3639678	Anyone else care to comment? This is actually a really interesting question.

03-25-2014, 02:45 AM	#2
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Treated with respect, kindness ... if she likes me on the first date and I like her too, it feels good to me to be lightly touched on the arm, shoulder, thigh ... it feels sort of like a subtle gesture of fondness to me. Once on a first date, I knocked on her door with a bouquet of roses. When she opened the door, she grabbed my hand, yanked me inside and literally swallowed me whole. I did not like that. Felt way too cheesy ... as in a cheap-themed movie. Subtle will get my attention.

03-30-2014, 05:46 AM	#3
Redsunflower Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: UK Posts: 459 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 548 Thanked 564 Times in 138 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Brilliant thread tiaras-and-books. bump

04-10-2014, 02:04 AM	#4
ForeverMe Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Feminine ones please Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Here Posts: 54 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 155 Thanked 148 Times in 39 Posts Rep Power: 1926532	I'm gonna take a turn giving a gentle bump on this one. I think it's a great topic.

05-24-2014, 03:43 AM	#5
tiaras-and-books Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: in a relationship with someone wonderful. :) Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Alaska Posts: 72 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 90 Thanked 213 Times in 48 Posts Rep Power: 2206307	One more bump. I really like hearing what you all have to say.

05-24-2014, 05:37 AM	#7
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,633 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	My philosophy is, if you need to ask how to treat me on a date, we probably shouldnt be dating Just like a femme, I wish to be treated well and be made to feel special. No magic formula involved. Common sense, manners, and interest go a long way. Treating a date like it is a job interview or an inquisition is not acceptable.

10-29-2015, 06:41 PM	#10
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,549 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	I'd like to take priority on a first date! I mean for gods sakes put your phone away and live in the moment! Other than good conversation and your full undivided attention, I'm good!

11-01-2015, 01:43 PM	#11
SaltyButch Member How Do You Identify?: Old School Butch Preferred Pronoun?: he/she/hey you..... Relationship Status: open to the possibilities Tournaments Won: 5 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: mississauga ontario canada Posts: 345 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 432 Thanked 1,634 Times in 301 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	If we have managed to get to a date, it would have been after having had some good conversation. So, I would expect that you would be the same as you have been as I've gotten to know you over the past little while. I am big on manners and am OFOS, so my behaviour will reflect that, don't disrespect me by saying I'm a guy. Although I know we can get shy I will do my best to make you feel comfortable, it would be appreciated if you would do the same. I'm a self described 2x4 so if you are interested I will need a sign with your flirtatious banter, your slight touch of my arm or that lovely smile. The conversation should flow easily and if at the end of the night we are both feeling it a nice kiss goodbye with plans to meet again.

11-02-2015, 02:15 PM	#12
job Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Join Date: Mar 2015 Location: Vegas area Posts: 47 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182 Thanked 159 Times in 35 Posts Rep Power: 644258	I don't need to be treated in a particular way. Just smile and be happy. Make me laugh and I will return the favor.