Taking a Risk to Visit Someone You Met Online

Duchess · 05-12-2014, 05:43 PM

anaisninja, please don't let this experience discourage you. There are many wonderful people on and off the net. You're taking a chance no matter how you meet. Big hugs to you sweetness.

Duchess

*Anya* · 05-12-2014, 07:19 PM

I am sorry it did not work out for you.

I think it is always worth risking your heart on love-regardless if around the corner or another state.

(((Big hug))).

candy_coated_bitch · 05-12-2014, 07:36 PM

I am also sorry you had a bad experience. Sometimes things online just don't translate into real time. I've been there. I feel you on the disappointment. I've also had some wonderful experiences with those I've met online. I think it's always worth it to take the chance! Thank goodness you know now and don't have to invest any more time.

I hope you try again. *hugs to you*

Bard · 05-12-2014, 07:37 PM

actually I met my wife online and when we met in person well it was amazing or rather she is

BrutalDaddy · 05-12-2014, 07:56 PM

Over the years, I've met a couple folks from online. Like you, didn't end well at all but it was a risk I took and in the end I was glad I did before the "fantasy" took over any sense of reality.

Then I saw a funny signature line on someone's profile that made me laugh on the old site and since I was having a really, really shitty day, I pmed her to thank her for the laugh cause I needed it.

She answered back.

Next year will mark ten years that we've been together.

Neither of us was looking for love or romance at ALL. We just got really lucky that we connected like we did. After all these years, she is seriously my best friend as well as my wife.

It can hurt like hell to have a crush then meet them and realize the fantasy doesn't match up with reality. So am sorry you had to experience that. Just know you're not alone in that regard. Tons of folks have that experience.

Just don't let it get you too down and know that they say there is someone for everyone out there.

Good luck to ya,
Brute.

SirenManda · 05-12-2014, 07:57 PM

I actually met my husband online also. But I met a few mistakes before, and I've learned that can be part of the journey. Putting yourself out there and showing you have courage to get out of your comfort zone may be what helps attract your soul mate later in life. Every mistake is just a stepping stone towards your true love.

femmsational · 05-12-2014, 08:28 PM

I think you're very brave and lucky that you found out and acknowleged the reality as fast as you did.

I'm not so brave. I haven't ever connected with anyone from online. But for one exception.....I met my husband on another web site almost ten years ago. It was really scary cause I had never answered any pm before. But I couldn't get past his name. It sparked a serious interest. LOL

We lucked out cause we're still together and as Brute said below we really are best friends. We met online, talked online about two weeks, met in person and two months later were living together

Which was absolutely ridiculous to me cause I'm one of those take my timers in relationships. But not this time.

If for some strange reason I wasn't with him anymore, I still wouldn't answer PM's from people I hadn't had any interaction with in a more public sphere. Like years worth of interaction. I just am too cynical I think.

I wish you luck in your quest. I also hope you are careful cause, like I said, for ME, meeting online people interested in a relationship is so risky it scares me.

take care,
julie

imperfect_cupcake · 05-12-2014, 08:52 PM

I've met oodles of people from on line. Forums and webdating. I've flown cross continent to a different country. They invited me, I had the time, so I went. A great deal of them were fun but nothing really gelled. That's OK.
I think keeping expectations within reality limits are pretty important.
It only took me one lesson to keep my expectations in check.

If you do decide to do it again, you will know how to stop your fantasies from getting away with your emotions until you meet.

After the first time I tried quite hard to keep a lid on any future planning if we had not met. I think that's pretty important.

But its like anything, you don't know unless you try. And then you learn.

anaisninja · 05-12-2014, 11:06 PM

Thanks everybody. It helps to know I'm not alone.

05-12-2014, 05:43 PM	#1
Duchess Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Toe curling :-) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 2,382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,792 Thanked 5,591 Times in 1,521 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	anaisninja, please don't let this experience discourage you. There are many wonderful people on and off the net. You're taking a chance no matter how you meet. Big hugs to you sweetness. Duchess __________________ *無料のライブ*

05-12-2014, 07:19 PM	#2
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,445 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I am sorry it did not work out for you. I think it is always worth risking your heart on love-regardless if around the corner or another state. (((Big hug))). __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

05-12-2014, 07:36 PM	#3
candy_coated_bitch Pixie Stick How Do You Identify?: The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 11,293 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,723 Thanked 31,823 Times in 6,109 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I am also sorry you had a bad experience. Sometimes things online just don't translate into real time. I've been there. I feel you on the disappointment. I've also had some wonderful experiences with those I've met online. I think it's always worth it to take the chance! Thank goodness you know now and don't have to invest any more time. I hope you try again. hugs to you __________________ My Etsy Shop My Patreon My Website

05-12-2014, 07:37 PM	#4
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	actually I met my wife online and when we met in person well it was amazing or rather she is __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

05-12-2014, 08:28 PM	#7
femmsational Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: bitch, but she will do Join Date: May 2012 Location: Jomtien Thailand Posts: 808 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 866 Thanked 3,787 Times in 773 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I think you're very brave and lucky that you found out and acknowleged the reality as fast as you did. I'm not so brave. I haven't ever connected with anyone from online. But for one exception.....I met my husband on another web site almost ten years ago. It was really scary cause I had never answered any pm before. But I couldn't get past his name. It sparked a serious interest. LOL We lucked out cause we're still together and as Brute said below we really are best friends. We met online, talked online about two weeks, met in person and two months later were living together Which was absolutely ridiculous to me cause I'm one of those take my timers in relationships. But not this time. If for some strange reason I wasn't with him anymore, I still wouldn't answer PM's from people I hadn't had any interaction with in a more public sphere. Like years worth of interaction. I just am too cynical I think. I wish you luck in your quest. I also hope you are careful cause, like I said, for ME, meeting online people interested in a relationship is so risky it scares me. take care, julie __________________ If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!

05-12-2014, 07:56 PM	#5
BrutalDaddy Member How Do You Identify?: Her Asshole. Preferred Pronoun?: Him, hym, he, whatever. Relationship Status: Bitch has no more excuses now. Join Date: May 2012 Location: Lower Alabama Posts: 519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 2,784 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Over the years, I've met a couple folks from online. Like you, didn't end well at all but it was a risk I took and in the end I was glad I did before the "fantasy" took over any sense of reality. Then I saw a funny signature line on someone's profile that made me laugh on the old site and since I was having a really, really shitty day, I pmed her to thank her for the laugh cause I needed it. She answered back. Next year will mark ten years that we've been together. Neither of us was looking for love or romance at ALL. We just got really lucky that we connected like we did. After all these years, she is seriously my best friend as well as my wife. It can hurt like hell to have a crush then meet them and realize the fantasy doesn't match up with reality. So am sorry you had to experience that. Just know you're not alone in that regard. Tons of folks have that experience. Just don't let it get you too down and know that they say there is someone for everyone out there. Good luck to ya, Brute.

05-12-2014, 07:57 PM	#6
SirenManda Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: . Posts: 257 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 162 Thanked 959 Times in 232 Posts Rep Power: 6492221	I actually met my husband online also. But I met a few mistakes before, and I've learned that can be part of the journey. Putting yourself out there and showing you have courage to get out of your comfort zone may be what helps attract your soul mate later in life. Every mistake is just a stepping stone towards your true love.

05-12-2014, 08:52 PM	#8
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've met oodles of people from on line. Forums and webdating. I've flown cross continent to a different country. They invited me, I had the time, so I went. A great deal of them were fun but nothing really gelled. That's OK. I think keeping expectations within reality limits are pretty important. It only took me one lesson to keep my expectations in check. If you do decide to do it again, you will know how to stop your fantasies from getting away with your emotions until you meet. After the first time I tried quite hard to keep a lid on any future planning if we had not met. I think that's pretty important. But its like anything, you don't know unless you try. And then you learn.

05-12-2014, 11:06 PM	#9
anaisninja Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: . Posts: 117 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 167 Thanked 486 Times in 93 Posts Rep Power: 6064352	Thanks everybody. It helps to know I'm not alone.

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