Taking a Risk to Visit Someone You Met Online

[imperfect_cupcake]

I've met oodles of people from on line. Forums and webdating. I've flown cross continent to a different country. They invited me, I had the time, so I went. A great deal of them were fun but nothing really gelled. That's OK.
I think keeping expectations within reality limits are pretty important.
It only took me one lesson to keep my expectations in check.

If you do decide to do it again, you will know how to stop your fantasies from getting away with your emotions until you meet.

After the first time I tried quite hard to keep a lid on any future planning if we had not met. I think that's pretty important.

But its like anything, you don't know unless you try. And then you learn.

[anaisninja]

Thanks everybody. It helps to know I'm not alone.

[anaisninja]

BrutalDyke and femmsational - I assume you two are a couple?

I'm glad it worked out for you.

Now please send me some of that magic good-lovin karma you obviously have in order to have made such a long-lasting match. Hand it over!

Thanks again for your supportive words.

[Contessa]

Chemistry just cant be calculated until you actually meet in real life. I have met women on occasion, over the years..maybe once or twice a yr from online. It's best not to have expectations. Some may have motives you don't see coming as well! There are good eggs, bad eggs and there will be great chemistry and not so much..You just have to put yourself out there once in awhile and see how it goes for u both..

Better to have taken the risk than to never know.

Just as it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.


It's possible. I met my ex online. It lasted several years well 5...that's 10yrs in 'gay years' isn't it?
Without the internet we would never have crossed paths.
Without taking the risk we would both have missed an incredibly powerful and beautiful experience.
We may not be together anymore but I give thanks to have had her in my life.

When the universe deems it right there will be someone for you.
Keep the faith

[Amber2010]

I think our mind makes us see things in people more then what is really there. When we our talking online or text or cell heck even skype we see in our minds eye who that person is. Even in a virtual game when someone has an avatar and you spend a lot of time together that person is not the real one in person that you can see everything about them. I am not talking just the physical but the simple things like how they cook, what they eat, how they handle situations when you go out are they an angry driver or an angry drunk? Do they put the cap back on the toothpaste. Yes these sound like little tiny things but in the big picture the communication in the on-line chat brings your mind to a place you really never can in real. Our imaginations are so great and our thoughts and feelings of someone you have not met in person is even greater.
Again these are just my thoughts.

[WildHorses]

To me it is about taking a bit of time to ask questions and LISTEN to the answers. If they tell you about their day and mention running someone off the road then that would be a NO. If they got drunk and ended up in a fight or jail, NO.

If you take some time to talk about what they do during the day or night it may help to get a better picture of them. Do they like to go out and party? Do they like spending time with friends and family? When they talk about things do they seem positive and generally happy? What interests do you share and which ones do they have that you do not like?

I think talking about the simple things in life are just as important as anything else. You can learn about a person's background (what they tell you) but does that mean they are the same now? If they talk about daily interactions with people, listen. It might give you a clue as to how they treat people.

My .02

I've met quite a lot of folks through the internet too. I must be honest and confess that the motivation on both sides is generally, initially, carnal rather than social...on the whole.

It has been my experience that time spent on instant messengers, telephone, skype et al, builds a 'false intimacy'. It can appear that [we] know each other far better than [we] actually do.
Action speaks louder than words. Consistency and longevity of action speaks volumes and can only be found in spending real, 3D time together, in my experience and opinion.
When I was dating frequently I learned to meet up quickly so as to avoid the false intimacy and inevitable, almost subconscious, building of expectation of who I thought they were.

[BrutalDaddy]

Originally Posted by anaisninja

BrutalDyke and femmsational - I assume you two are a couple?

I'm glad it worked out for you.

Now please send me some of that magic good-lovin karma you obviously have in order to have made such a long-lasting match. Hand it over!

Thanks again for your supportive words.

You assumed correctly, hence the "serving 25 to life with no possibility for parole" tagline I have under relationship status. Lol.

In all honesty, I believe it was a mixture of dumb luck and fate.

Dunno about good loving karma but I do know there are several couples on this site who've been together for 5 years or more. Seriously warms my heart too.

Used to be a non believer in the whole "true love" shit but it's out there. Just a matter of when the dumb luck/fate bit will kick in is all.

Best advice I can give you is make sure the person is your best friend as well as your lover and just breathe, it'll happen when it's meant to happen.

Again, good luck to you.


Brute.

[Nadeest]

I've met one lover online. Unfortunately, it didn't last, as I finally figured out that men just wouldn't work for me, but he and I are still good friends. I have also met some good friends online, including people that I ended up living with, for a time.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by anaisninja

BrutalDyke and femmsational - I assume you two are a couple?

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

You assumed correctly, hence the "serving 25 to life with no possibility for parole" tagline I have under relationship status. Lol.

I find it interesting when people assume that everyone knows of their couplings, even if they don't have the person's name listed on their relationship status.

Not directing this towards you, Brute, it is just something I have noticed many times, which I find curious.

I am the opposite. I tend to assume that people DON'T know who I am partnered with, unless they know us as personally. I always speak to my audience as if they don't know.

I find it interesting that people assume that even members who don't know them, would know who their partner was. I see it as common happenstance.

/random ramble