Something horrible just happened

[anaisninja]

Originally Posted by Girl_On_Fire

I am so sorry this happened to you. I understand your pain.

A little over 10 years ago, I was in a committed relationship and we had moved in together. We were having problems and we lived in a tiny apartment where we couldn't really get away from each other. She thought it would be a good idea if she spent the weekend at a hotel so we could have some space.

While I was at work, she packed a bag and took a bus out of the state to be with someone she'd been talking to online. The hotel story was just a cover for an elaborate escape she'd apparently had planned for a while.

I didn't find out until 3 days later after I'd filed a missing person's report. While I'm certainly older and wiser now and can see, in hindsight, there were plenty of glaringly-obvious signs, at the time I didn't know any better. I was very innocent and naive and never saw it coming.

I'm not putting either of those character traits on you. I just understand how something like that can be damaging and cause feelings of abandonment and self-doubt. Try not to blame yourself. This woman obviously has issues. She could have talked to you. She could have politely canceled the date if she no longer felt the connection. There was no need to rush out in the middle of a date like that.

Someone who can't even talk to you and try to tell you what's going on or what they perceive is wrong isn't someone you can sustain a healthy relationship with.

You deserve better and better is what's out there waiting for you.

*hugs*

Girl on Fire - I'm so sorry that happened to you. The more of you say you've been through something similar, the more aghast I am at people's bad behavior. I was talking about what happened with some of my social work friends tonight. One woman's theory is that we've (the social workers) all been spoiled by being around people like ourselves - kind, caring, touchy-feely, warm - social work types. (I realize this is a generalization. But... we work in the helping profession. We are helpers by nature.) So our perception of what constitutes normal behavior has been skewed.