Can You Really Be Friends With An Ex?

candy_coated_bitch · 08-29-2014, 05:44 AM

For me, the answer is overwhelmingly no. If I break up with someone it's for a reason. I think if there are still feeling involved it's an awful idea! But yeah. It depends on the situation and people. I have exactly one ex I am still good friends with. And we had a very close friendship before we ever got involved, and it took time and space.

I think the potential for drama is high.

cinnamongrrl · 08-29-2014, 06:34 AM

I think it definitely depends on the ex. In light of recent events, I have become more open to this possibility than I once was....

Orema · 08-29-2014, 07:16 AM

I'm friendly with most exes, but we're not friends. If we run into each other, we'll hug, smile, and all that jazz ... or we'll connect once or twice a year (if that) to catch up on old news—who died, got married, came out, had a baby, etc.— but that's as far as it goes with me.

I think people unconsciously send messages to each other, so being friends with an ex is not a good idea to me.

Jesse · 08-29-2014, 12:53 PM

I am on friendly terms with most of my exes. After all, they still have the qualities they possessed that attracted me to them in the first place and are for the most part, really good people. However, I would not choose to be a part of their everyday life, because it would be too much like dragging the past into today. The past is done, and I live in the now.

Bubala · 12-10-2015, 02:02 AM

All do respect to those who can...But for most people there are reasons why exes are exes...

Then again what do I know... I don't really have a past... My partner of many many wars was my first my last, my only, my everything.... ;(

Virago · 12-10-2015, 02:16 AM

It definitely does depend, but I can say that I'm fortunate that I'm friends with most all of my exes except for 2 or 3. My ex from 4 years ago came back into my life after she broke up with her gf (who didn't allow her to talk with any of her exes) and is now one of my best friends. I also count an ex of mine from 20 years ago as one of my best friends. And other of my exes are definitely still very important in my life.

I decided to date these women and become involved with them because besides being very attracted to them sexually, I also respected them strongly. And after both of us mourned the break up enough, we would realize that the parts we respected remained....we just didn't gel for a life together.

Nattih · 12-10-2015, 02:44 AM

I largely refuse to acknowledge the fact that my exes still exist on earth. I do give fair warning that this is how I operate. No one walks into our relationship being taken by surprise at my actions when it ends. I'm incapable of handling rejection. Is it a flaw? Absolutely. But it's been me since I was 1 year old.

There is one ex that I am still friends with as a special case.

Talon · 12-10-2015, 01:31 PM

Fuck no....

Nattih · 12-10-2015, 02:05 PM

My friendships are just as deep and intimate as my relationships. I have taken off work to fly into a different state just because my good friend was lonely. I regularly ask my bff for no questions asked favors and they are never an issue. She is golden. If any of my friends asked me for my entire next paycheck, I'd give it to them, no doubt. Friends aren't a hi and bye type of thing to me.

Chances are if you did not cut the muster as a significant other, you aren't going to be capable of/want to engage in the types of friendships that I cherish either.

08-29-2014, 05:44 AM	#1
candy_coated_bitch Pixie Stick How Do You Identify?: The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 11,293 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,723 Thanked 31,824 Times in 6,109 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	For me, the answer is overwhelmingly no. If I break up with someone it's for a reason. I think if there are still feeling involved it's an awful idea! But yeah. It depends on the situation and people. I have exactly one ex I am still good friends with. And we had a very close friendship before we ever got involved, and it took time and space. I think the potential for drama is high. __________________ My Etsy Shop My Patreon My Website

08-29-2014, 06:34 AM	#2
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,663 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,233 Thanked 27,600 Times in 6,957 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I think it definitely depends on the ex. In light of recent events, I have become more open to this possibility than I once was.... __________________

08-29-2014, 12:53 PM	#4
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I am on friendly terms with most of my exes. After all, they still have the qualities they possessed that attracted me to them in the first place and are for the most part, really good people. However, I would not choose to be a part of their everyday life, because it would be too much like dragging the past into today. The past is done, and I live in the now. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-29-2014, 07:16 AM	#3
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,638 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,458 Thanked 34,710 Times in 8,945 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I'm friendly with most exes, but we're not friends. If we run into each other, we'll hug, smile, and all that jazz ... or we'll connect once or twice a year (if that) to catch up on old news—who died, got married, came out, had a baby, etc.— but that's as far as it goes with me. I think people unconsciously send messages to each other, so being friends with an ex is not a good idea to me.

12-10-2015, 02:02 AM	#5
Bubala Member How Do You Identify?: Lady Sunflower Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: San Fran Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 463 Thanked 1,671 Times in 615 Posts Rep Power: 9338276	All do respect to those who can...But for most people there are reasons why exes are exes... Then again what do I know... I don't really have a past... My partner of many many wars was my first my last, my only, my everything.... ;(

12-10-2015, 02:16 AM	#6
Virago Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 387 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 1,123 Times in 306 Posts Rep Power: 8364711	It definitely does depend, but I can say that I'm fortunate that I'm friends with most all of my exes except for 2 or 3. My ex from 4 years ago came back into my life after she broke up with her gf (who didn't allow her to talk with any of her exes) and is now one of my best friends. I also count an ex of mine from 20 years ago as one of my best friends. And other of my exes are definitely still very important in my life. I decided to date these women and become involved with them because besides being very attracted to them sexually, I also respected them strongly. And after both of us mourned the break up enough, we would realize that the parts we respected remained....we just didn't gel for a life together.

12-10-2015, 02:44 AM	#7
Nattih Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2010 Location: always on a plane Posts: 174 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 285 Thanked 633 Times in 164 Posts Rep Power: 13046651	I largely refuse to acknowledge the fact that my exes still exist on earth. I do give fair warning that this is how I operate. No one walks into our relationship being taken by surprise at my actions when it ends. I'm incapable of handling rejection. Is it a flaw? Absolutely. But it's been me since I was 1 year old. There is one ex that I am still friends with as a special case.

12-10-2015, 01:31 PM	#8
Talon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Divine Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: . Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: . Posts: 4,921 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,246 Thanked 10,223 Times in 3,305 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Fuck no....

12-10-2015, 02:05 PM	#9
Nattih Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2010 Location: always on a plane Posts: 174 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 285 Thanked 633 Times in 164 Posts Rep Power: 13046651	My friendships are just as deep and intimate as my relationships. I have taken off work to fly into a different state just because my good friend was lonely. I regularly ask my bff for no questions asked favors and they are never an issue. She is golden. If any of my friends asked me for my entire next paycheck, I'd give it to them, no doubt. Friends aren't a hi and bye type of thing to me. Chances are if you did not cut the muster as a significant other, you aren't going to be capable of/want to engage in the types of friendships that I cherish either.