Pronouns

[Andrew, Jr.]

Thinker,

I am tired of being flexable. I am tired of changing and always turning to my other cheek when other people are stuck in their ways. I think we are around the same age (I'm 46 yo). It has been my experience that if someone has a nasty disposition 2, 3, or 6 years ago, then I can pretty much bet that they will still have the same disposition today unless they are in therapy and something happens. I just say we both agree to disagree on this one, buddy.

[AtLast]

I tend to be called male pronouns often and I prefer female. I don't really get upset with this unless someone as Thinker points out, is fu**ing with me. Which does happen. I just correct people in a courteous manner if they use male pronouns with me.

On the other side of this, I make an effort to find out what another person prefers. Outward appearance just doesn't work well with this and I feel that it is just as important for me to use the pronouns someone else prefers as it is to learn their name or pronounce it correctly.

It's interesting to me that on the site, even with my stating I prefer she, her, etc., a lot of people will use male pronouns. I was glad to see that the Planet made room for this designation in the profile structure, so this does kind of disappoint me. I look at what members state in that box all of the time because I do think it's important and the respectful thing to do. I appreciate it when someone asks me about this lets say when I have asked them out. It isn’t just about me, it’s about honoring the fact that gender has evolved away from the traditional binary and that people do have personal preferences. Gender has become more fluid within and outside of our community.

I have at times felt annoyed when someone calls me him or he and can understand why someone that is male-identified or a FtM can feel annoyed and there have been times when I have not felt like being flexible because being referred to as such happens so much within the B-F community. And I am amazed at this sometimes, because it just seems like we ought to be more sensitive about this.

Looks to me like all butches, no matter how they identify have problems with this!

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Thinker,

I am tired of being flexable. I am tired of changing and always turning to my other cheek when other people are stuck in their ways. I think we are around the same age (I'm 46 yo). It has been my experience that if someone has a nasty disposition 2, 3, or 6 years ago, then I can pretty much bet that they will still have the same disposition today unless they are in therapy and something happens. I just say we both agree to disagree on this one, buddy.

Hey Andrew...

My post wasn't intended to disagree with anything you said. It was my response to the OP's question based on my personal experiences.

In the years I've known you and read you online, it is evident to me that you and I have had vastly different experiences. I can't even begin to understand what you've been through, so I certainly wouldn't deny you your feelings when it comes to this and so many other topics.

I'm sorry if there was confusion. I did not respond to draw contrast to what you had written. I just wanted to throw in my two cents since it seems the OP is interested in hearing different takes on the subject.

Respectfully,
Thinker

[Andrew, Jr.]

Thinker,

We have a good relationship. I value that. I know your heart and soul, and you know mine.

I think the problem is that I struggle with oral communication. And those who dislike me for whatever reason use it against me. The one thing that gets my goat is the use of pronouns as a weapon.

Peace,
Andrew