FTM's Attracted to Femmes

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Nadeest

I sure as hell will look at FtM guys, however, I don't know if I would be classfied as a 'good woman' or not.

Honey, you are a good woman! No one should have an say so on that alone, I'm not the girliest of girls, not hyper pink, or glittery but I am woman and my guy got hooked not on those aspects but on other things that make me who I am. If someone is gonna judge and date you based on some scale of femininity then they are losing out cause damn one can't be all make up and high heels 24/7 a girl has to be grungy once in awhile!

[Electrocell]

Ladies maybe it is not because you are a girly girl or to femme for them , it's because they might think you are a high maintenance femme whether you are or not. They just might be saying that you are too femme instead of coming out and saying you would cost me alot of money .Not saying this to be nasty but alot of guys automatically think this way if they think you will need alot of things to keep you happy.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Electrocell

Ladies maybe it is not because you are a girly girl or to femme for them , it's because they might think you are a high maintenance femme whether you are or not. They just might be saying that you are too femme instead of coming out and saying you would cost me alot of money .Not saying this to be nasty but alot of guys automatically think this way if they think you will need alot of things to keep you happy.

Or maybe they really ARE just saying "you're too femme" because they aren't attracted to femmes, or hyper feminine women, or femininity at all. Some people really ARE just attracted to certain looks or personalities. Granted, there is a better way to say it, but not everyone is diplomatic. If someone said to me "I don't like brunettes", I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by ButchEire

Too femme? That's funny. When did such a ridiculous boundary develop?

Originally Posted by QueenofSmirks

Frankly I don't understand why people get so offended when they find out someone isn't attracted to them. I don't/won't slam anyone for their preferences. It isn't my place to judge them. Someone who says someone is "too butch" or "too femme" is really just saying "I am interested in X" or "I fit best with X", but of course, it could be said in a gentler way.

I think the majority of people are attracted to a particular segment, or segments on the gender spectrum. It's less common for people to be attracted to every single possible gender /gender ID.

If someone doesn't like you, or your apprearance, or your eye color, or your clothes... just move on. It really IS that simple.

I hope that ButchEire comes back to clarify, but I really think that hy was being tongue in cheek while trying to be supportive of the OP who was sadly lamenting the fact that she struggles with finding a FTM who is interested in femmes. I personally didn't see the OP as being offended by it, rather she is just saying she wished she could find this type of FTM.

Originally Posted by Electrocell

Ladies maybe it is not because you are a girly girl or to femme for them , it's because they might think you are a high maintenance femme whether you are or not. They just might be saying that you are too femme instead of coming out and saying you would cost me alot of money .Not saying this to be nasty but alot of guys automatically think this way if they think you will need alot of things to keep you happy.

The OP indicated that she was talking about FTMs preferring other masculine defining people rather than femmes. She didn't say anything about about high femmes, or femmy femmes, or whatever...just "femmes women".

As an aside, I have never thought of what you describe as a "girly girl" as automatically being a "high maintenance femme" or one who spends a lot of money on her outside self or would expect me to spend that on her. Being on the extreme end of "feminine" (society's definition based on external presentation) doesn't equate to this. Women do their own nails, dye their own hair, etc (the accoutrements of "girly girl"). I am actually surprised by your statement, as I personally haven't heard other masculine identified people say this before?

[blush]

Originally Posted by Electrocell

Ladies maybe it is not because you are a girly girl or to femme for them , it's because they might think you are a high maintenance femme whether you are or not. They just might be saying that you are too femme instead of coming out and saying you would cost me alot of money .Not saying this to be nasty but alot of guys automatically think this way if they think you will need alot of things to keep you happy.

Yeah, I don't date butches or ftms that are concerned with their appearence for that reason exactly. They might just want my money.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic,
blush

[twist of lime]

Originally Posted by Electrocell

Ladies maybe it is not because you are a girly girl or to femme for them , it's because they might think you are a high maintenance femme whether you are or not. They just might be saying that you are too femme instead of coming out and saying you would cost me alot of money .Not saying this to be nasty but alot of guys automatically think this way if they think you will need alot of things to keep you happy.

Now, now that isn't always the case, but I can get where you are coming from. All that fluffin' n' carryin' on can be intimidating. haha I can see where one might be scared. Handbags and shoes and and and... can get expensive.

*disclaimer* I know there are varying degrees of femme-ness and some may not even like handbags or shoes or or or...

[Miss July]

Originally Posted by Electrocell

Ladies maybe it is not because you are a girly girl or to femme for them , it's because they might think you are a high maintenance femme whether you are or not. They just might be saying that you are too femme instead of coming out and saying you would cost me alot of money .Not saying this to be nasty but alot of guys automatically think this way if they think you will need alot of things to keep you happy.

Cost you too much $$ really??
I take care of myself just fine and cost no one $.
FYI I adore FTMS and I'm VERY femme and never seem to have problems finding them in hiding. Although I think many times they ASSume we are not interested in their handsome selves.
Again it's all ones perception.

Just my .02

[~Bo]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Honey, you are a good woman! No one should have an say so on that alone, I'm not the girliest of girls, not hyper pink, or glittery but I am woman and my guy got hooked not on those aspects but on other things that make me who I am. If someone is gonna judge and date you based on some scale of femininity then they are losing out cause damn one can't be all make up and high heels 24/7 a girl has to be grungy once in awhile!

Maybe not, but you always look girlie in that wet t-shirt.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by ~Bo

Maybe not, but you always look girlie in that wet t-shirt.

Now now ~bo we all know breasts do not equate girl/girly!!!

[sanee66]

Originally Posted by GPS

I'm only attracted to Femme women, being it lesbian, bisexual or straight.

hard to find a good woman that even looks at FtM guys.

maybe we arent lookin in the right place and just missing each other?

[Leigh]

I have also not been able to find femmes who will seriously look My way and yet I love femmes

[sanee66]

Originally Posted by Matthew

I have also not been able to find femmes who will seriously look My way and yet I love femmes

<<<looking Matthews way very seriously.

Honestly, and for us femmes that are interested, we cant get anyone to take notice.

[Leigh]

I promise you sanee, I am one guy that will *always* look your way

[1ladyface]

Originally Posted by sanee66

Honestly, and for us femmes that are interested, we cant get anyone to take notice.

Sanee, thanks for this. I pass as straight...always. And I'm not really into rainbows or triangles so I'm only visible as queer in queer spaces, and even then only if I have my hand in the back pocket of a lovers carharts.

But I think there have to be some other indicators that other queer folk can pick up on, if they're looking. These are the first few that come to mind:

1. vintage styleyness
2. artsy/creative/alternative looks (stuff that clearly isn't from the mall)
3. really red lipstick
4. being overdressed
5. rejecting cisdudes (gently of course)

What do you all think? And what are some of your femme spotting tricks?

And, if i were to ever get up the courage to approach a stranger i was reasonably confident was FTM...how do you guys like to be hit on?

So far i've only ever handed boifolk a note with my phone number. And that's worked but it would be nice to actually connect in that moment rather than getting a text later.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by veryfemme

I have noticed that many of FTM friends date primarily butch women or FTM and I wanted to know how many FTMs are attracted to femme women? Is there a reason why you are attracted to femmes and are you also attracted to butch women or other FTM as well?

I'm attracted to feminine energy.

[sarahwho]

Originally Posted by veryfemme

I have noticed that many of FTM friends date primarily butch women or FTM and I wanted to know how many FTMs are attracted to femme women? Is there a reason why you are attracted to femmes and are you also attracted to butch women or other FTM as well?

I've noticed it too, but I have met very few ftm's in Cleveland. WHERE are you!

[Leigh]

I absolutely LOVE femmes **drool**

[chai~]

*raising my beautifully manicured hand* been accused of being "too girly" also...broke my heart, but I won't change who I am to suit someone better. Hang in there, when you find the boi of your dreams, oh my, you will know it! And hy will enjoy you in your delicious girly self!!

[kannon]

<----aime la femme

[Leigh]

I just wanted to come in and say hello to everyone