Bumper Stickers.....

TexasCowboi · 06-04-2010, 05:24 AM

ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS FOUND ON CARS!
>
>1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
>
>2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
>
>3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
>
>4. *removed for fear of accidentally offending someone*
>
>5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth
Shut.
>
>6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
>
>7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
Drive
> A Little Better. *
>
>8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
>
>9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
>
>10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
>
>11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone
Else
> And Seek Counseling.
>
>12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard
Feelings."
>
>13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
>
>14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
>
>15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You
Put
> The Booger.
>
>16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
>
>17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are
Talking
> To Me
>
>18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
>
>19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
>
>20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't
Happening To Me
>
>21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
>
>22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
>
>23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
>
>24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember
My Name
>
>25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
>
>26. Illiterate? Write For Help
>
>27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
>
>28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
>
>29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From
The Next Exit
>
>30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed
Person
>
>31. Hey You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
>
>32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
>
>33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This
Handbasket?
>
>34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
>
>35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk
Somewhere
>
>36. *this one was removed for fear of offending someone*
>
>37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It
Wrong...
>
>38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
>
>39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back
Over...[seen
> upside down, on a Jeep]
>
>40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are
Also
> Timed for 70mph.
>
>41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No
Charge
> [seen in a restaurant]
>
>42. *also removed for fear of offending someone*
>
>43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack
Open
> A Cold One.
>
>44. Ax Me About Ebonics
>
>45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
>
>46. Boldly Going Nowhere
>
>47. Cat: The Other White Meat
>
>48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
>
>49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
>
>50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His
Animal Friends
>
>51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired >From A
Car Window
>
> 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
> Admits He Is Lost?
>
> 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle
> Them With Bullets.
>
>54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The
Kids In Touch
>
>55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
>

chefhottie25 · 06-04-2010, 09:42 PM

one of my college roommate had the best bumper sticker on her car.....
"God is coming...and she is pissed"

Dante · 06-04-2010, 09:46 PM

Don't you just love (NOT) those stupid signs that read...."my kid is an honor student at such and such school. ????!!!!! "

TexasCowboi · 06-04-2010, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante

Don't you just love (NOT) those stupid signs that read...."my kid is an honor student at such and such school. ????!!!!! "

Yeah.... and if I had kiddos.... my bumper sticker would read "My kid beat up your honor student"

*chuckles*

Glenn · 06-04-2010, 10:53 PM

I just made this one up- This Truck Is My Soulmate

Arwen · 06-04-2010, 11:11 PM

"When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight--the U.S Marines."

jey_z76 · 09-21-2010, 04:56 PM

I just saw this one today (and laughed)..... so don't shoot the messenger!

One Big Ass Mistake America!

jenny · 09-21-2010, 05:55 PM

My favorite... I saw it on a small car...

"Hummer Escape Pod"

Cracked me up!!!

Pixie · 09-21-2010, 10:27 PM

*DO YOU MIND???? I'm a little sore!*

snicker...

Guy · 09-21-2010, 10:44 PM

Strangers have the best candy

Tcountry · 09-22-2010, 03:30 AM

1. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read it in English, thank a Soldier!
2. Drive it like you Stole it
3. Yes this is my truck...No I won't help you move
4. My road to success is under construction
5. I don't suck. but honey, I hope you do
6. Come on, give me the finger like you MEAN it
7. Sex isn't dirty...unless you do it right!
8. If you like my bumper you'll love my headlights
9. Love thy neighbor but don't get caught
10. GR8NBED

Jess · 09-22-2010, 04:29 AM

Two of my favs

ANKH if you love Isis!

and

MAMA DIDN'T BUY MINE!!!

shadows papa · 09-22-2010, 06:16 AM

"Some people are still alive simply because it is illegal to kill them"

"Tell your girlfriend I said THANKS"
This one was actually a graphic I had made for the side of the truck when I drove rigs..."Too Dumb for New York City,Too Ugly for L.A."

Jess · 09-22-2010, 08:31 AM

One I want to have made for bratboy... T-shirt also...

"Your girlfriend thinks my OTHER mom is hot!"

or

"Your girlfriend thinks my MOM"S are hot!"

IrishGrrl · 09-22-2010, 10:31 AM

Gas, Grass, or a piece of ass..no one rides for free.

jenny · 09-28-2010, 07:33 AM

Saw this one on a SmartCar last night...

*harmful if swallowed

HAHAHAHA!

Ms. Tabitha · 09-28-2010, 08:05 AM

Im-Only-Speeding-Cause-I-Really-Have-To-Poop

Like what you see? Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH

How's my driving 1-800-BITE-ME

Uncle Sam Wants You To Speak English

Take Revenge - Shit On A Pigeon

I'd smack you but shit splatters

I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have

Save a cow--eat a vegetarian

I kiss boys that used to be girls

Lord, help me to be the person my cat thinks I am.

Facisim: concentrated private control of wealth, control of information, massive investment/manufacture of arms and military equipment, suppression of labor movements... sound familiar?

That cell phone would look better sticking out of your Ass

I'm only driving like this to piss you off

Work harder millions on welfare dependon you

Your kid might be an honor student but your still an idiot

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

BAD COP! - NO DONUT

PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals

My podcast beat up your blog

My carbon footprint is bigger than yours

The Ass Family:
Smart
Dumb
Lazy
Wise
Kiss

MaggieBluIze · 09-28-2010, 08:40 AM

Getting this one created ... Not as clever as the rest, but is accurate.

It will have an <--- pointing to dent in bumper and will say "My 16 y/o Daughter Was Here".

chefhmboyrd · 09-28-2010, 08:47 AM

I'm not tailgatin', I'm Draftin'

Miami · 09-28-2010, 09:02 AM

Three of my favorites: My Karma ran over your Dogma, My mother is the President of Guilt Trips Inc., and my all time favorite, Humpty Dumpty was PUSHED! Ok, so I have a twisted sense of humor, what's your point? lol

06-04-2010, 05:24 AM	#1
TexasCowboi Member How Do You Identify?: TGStoneButch Relationship Status: Married....'nuff said Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 181 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 178 Thanked 502 Times in 128 Posts Rep Power: 4791449	Bumper Stickers..... ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS FOUND ON CARS! > >1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit. > >2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself. > >3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People. > >4. removed for fear of accidentally offending someone > >5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. > >6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point. > >7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive > A Little Better. * > >8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. > >9. Thank You For Pot Smoking. > >10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing. > >11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else > And Seek Counseling. > >12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings." > >13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. > >14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. > >15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put > The Booger. > >16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass. > >17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking > To Me > >18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home > >19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha > >20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me > >21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time > >22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult > >23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? > >24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name > >25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway > >26. Illiterate? Write For Help > >27. Honk If Anything Falls Off > >28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes > >29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit > >30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person > >31. Hey You! Out Of The Gene Pool! > >32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To > >33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? > >34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now > >35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere > >36. this one was removed for fear of offending someone > >37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong... > >38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back! > >39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[seen > upside down, on a Jeep] > >40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also > Timed for 70mph. > >41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge > [seen in a restaurant] > >42. also removed for fear of offending someone > >43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open > A Cold One. > >44. Ax Me About Ebonics > >45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel > >46. Boldly Going Nowhere > >47. Cat: The Other White Meat > >48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde! > >49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That > >50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends > >51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired >From A Car Window > > 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He > Admits He Is Lost? > > 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle > Them With Bullets. > >54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch > >55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! >

06-04-2010, 09:46 PM	#3
Dante Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: Hym Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: So. Calif. Posts: 419 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,248 Thanked 496 Times in 206 Posts Rep Power: 3481782	Don't you just love (NOT) those stupid signs that read...."my kid is an honor student at such and such school. ????!!!!! " __________________ Goooooooo LAKERS !!!!!!

06-04-2010, 10:53 PM	#5
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I just made this one up- This Truck Is My Soulmate __________________ 1 Kings 19:12

06-04-2010, 11:11 PM	#6
Arwen Joy Seeker How Do You Identify?: Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment) Posts: 10,140 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,636 Thanked 28,121 Times in 6,414 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	"When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight--the U.S Marines." __________________ I wrote a book, y'all! *FREE* Tarotscopes Seek Joy, y'all. Eschew hate. 9Words: A Poetry Challenge \| Do you like me?

09-21-2010, 04:56 PM	#7
jey_z76 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Boi Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: Still single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Austin Posts: 28 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1 Thanked 17 Times in 8 Posts Rep Power: 15	I just saw this one today (and laughed)..... so don't shoot the messenger! One Big Ass Mistake America! __________________ *~ It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. ~*

06-04-2010, 09:42 PM	#2
chefhottie25 Member How Do You Identify?: boi Preferred Pronoun?: hy Relationship Status: happily taken Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: ohio Posts: 1,406 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 889 Times in 478 Posts Rep Power: 1175217	one of my college roommate had the best bumper sticker on her car..... "God is coming...and she is pissed"

09-21-2010, 05:55 PM	#8
jenny Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Relationship Status: inquire within Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 956 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 434 Thanked 1,593 Times in 580 Posts Rep Power: 5091118	My favorite... I saw it on a small car... "Hummer Escape Pod" Cracked me up!!! __________________ "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." ~ Anne Frank “Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

09-21-2010, 10:27 PM	#9
Pixie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Equal Opportunity Friend Preferred Pronoun?: Girl Relationship Status: in service Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sacramento! Posts: 2,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,691 Thanked 4,103 Times in 1,332 Posts Rep Power: 15274784	DO YOU MIND???? I'm a little sore! snicker... __________________ Unexplored glimmering in the rough How does a diamond hide? -Pixie-

09-21-2010, 10:44 PM	#10
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Strangers have the best candy

09-22-2010, 03:30 AM	#11
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	hmmmm... 1. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read it in English, thank a Soldier! 2. Drive it like you Stole it 3. Yes this is my truck...No I won't help you move 4. My road to success is under construction 5. I don't suck. but honey, I hope you do 6. Come on, give me the finger like you MEAN it 7. Sex isn't dirty...unless you do it right! 8. If you like my bumper you'll love my headlights 9. Love thy neighbor but don't get caught 10. GR8NBED __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

09-22-2010, 04:29 AM	#12
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,701 Times in 1,683 Posts Rep Power: 0	Two of my favs ANKH if you love Isis! and MAMA DIDN'T BUY MINE!!!

09-22-2010, 06:16 AM	#13
shadows papa Member How Do You Identify?: With a Warning Label Preferred Pronoun?: Her Bastard Relationship Status: Peaceful Easy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Back Where I Come From Posts: 699 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,223 Thanked 1,643 Times in 484 Posts Rep Power: 3193789	"Some people are still alive simply because it is illegal to kill them" "Tell your girlfriend I said THANKS" This one was actually a graphic I had made for the side of the truck when I drove rigs..."Too Dumb for New York City,Too Ugly for L.A." __________________ "Cry,cuss,sling snot, whatever. Just KEEP PEDALING!!" Shad

09-22-2010, 08:31 AM	#14
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,701 Times in 1,683 Posts Rep Power: 0	One I want to have made for bratboy... T-shirt also... "Your girlfriend thinks my OTHER mom is hot!" or "Your girlfriend thinks my MOM"S are hot!"

09-22-2010, 10:31 AM	#15
IrishGrrl Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Leatherdyke Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: In a relationship/non-monogamous Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 877 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 276 Thanked 1,209 Times in 366 Posts Rep Power: 2427288	my all time fav Gas, Grass, or a piece of ass..no one rides for free.

09-28-2010, 07:33 AM	#16
jenny Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Relationship Status: inquire within Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 956 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 434 Thanked 1,593 Times in 580 Posts Rep Power: 5091118	Saw this one on a SmartCar last night... harmful if swallowed HAHAHAHA! __________________ "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." ~ Anne Frank* “Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

09-28-2010, 08:05 AM	#17
Ms. Tabitha Member How Do You Identify?: Hey Lady Preferred Pronoun?: Female Relationship Status: Married ~ 4-1-13 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 1,440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 980 Thanked 3,581 Times in 1,040 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Im-Only-Speeding-Cause-I-Really-Have-To-Poop Like what you see? Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH How's my driving 1-800-BITE-ME Uncle Sam Wants You To Speak English Take Revenge - Shit On A Pigeon I'd smack you but shit splatters I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have Save a cow--eat a vegetarian I kiss boys that used to be girls Lord, help me to be the person my cat thinks I am. Facisim: concentrated private control of wealth, control of information, massive investment/manufacture of arms and military equipment, suppression of labor movements... sound familiar? That cell phone would look better sticking out of your Ass I'm only driving like this to piss you off Work harder millions on welfare dependon you Your kid might be an honor student but your still an idiot I'm not driving fast-just flying low. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? BAD COP! - NO DONUT PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals My podcast beat up your blog My carbon footprint is bigger than yours The Ass Family: Smart Dumb Lazy Wise Kiss

09-28-2010, 08:40 AM	#18
MaggieBluIze Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Feisty Kick Butt Bratty Babygirl Femme LOL Preferred Pronoun?: Something Sweet Please =) Relationship Status: My rainbow bubble holds love, happiness and life with my sweet Husbutch Daddy Bass! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Austin TX Baby!!! Posts: 2,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,912 Thanked 5,385 Times in 1,504 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Getting this one created ... Not as clever as the rest, but is accurate. It will have an <--- pointing to dent in bumper and will say "My 16 y/o Daughter Was Here". __________________ s her sweet Daddy Bass ~~http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ion/maggie.jpg

09-28-2010, 08:47 AM	#19
chefhmboyrd Senior Member How Do You Identify?: man Preferred Pronoun?: beef Relationship Status: Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nashvegas Posts: 1,607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,411 Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts Rep Power: 14271905	I'm not tailgatin', I'm Draftin' __________________ what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here?

09-28-2010, 09:02 AM	#20
Miami Member How Do You Identify?: Gentlemyn Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Miami, Florida DUH! Posts: 135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 79 Times in 45 Posts Rep Power: 876	Three of my favorites: My Karma ran over your Dogma, My mother is the President of Guilt Trips Inc., and my all time favorite, Humpty Dumpty was PUSHED! Ok, so I have a twisted sense of humor, what's your point? lol __________________ To be broken hearted does NOT mean to be broken, simply to be prepared for the healing.

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