06-13-2018, 12:07 AM | #1661 |
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Butch, Non Binary, Trans, Always Me. :) Join Date: Jan 2013
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I called to some company in order to acquire services...
At some point, their automatized system asked about my destination of origin: Puerto Rico, I responded with my natural Puerto Rican accent... Immediately the system responded: hmmm lets try again...and, we did try...one, two three four times... When we were about to go to the fifth time into the same question I was: Really?!?! Are you telling me that after all these years I don't know how to pronounce my country name?! Then, quickly, like in a a whisper the thought surprised me: You need to speak in English to them!! Soooo, there I was, using my best English and saying: pwerto reko... Welllll...allow me to tell you that it did work! Yes, that made me laugh in disbelief ...while rolling my eyes and shaking my head... On the other hand, it looks like I'm improving on my Inglés...sighs... Welcome to my world! lol |
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06-26-2018, 01:52 PM | #1662 |
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein |
06-26-2018, 03:32 PM | #1663 |
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When fur baby 1 passed gas in her sleep & fur baby 2 jumped from fright & barked at fur baby 1's backside & then fur baby 1 wakes up & joins in & barks at her own backside.... Omg my ribs are still hurting...
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06-26-2018, 07:16 PM | #1664 | |
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Quote:
*confused* |
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06-26-2018, 07:23 PM | #1665 |
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Hmmm odd wrong link sorry. This is why i hate posting from a cell Lol.
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein |
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06-26-2018, 07:24 PM | #1666 |
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein |
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06-26-2018, 07:30 PM | #1667 | |
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Quote:
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06-26-2018, 08:13 PM | #1668 |
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"I guess if you have the brake on, it's hard to back up."
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"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin |
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06-27-2018, 06:21 AM | #1669 |
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Mom showing everyone her zebra stripped underwear before I corralled her to tie the back of her hospital gown. Then her proceeding to tell me they matched her bra.
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06-27-2018, 11:47 AM | #1670 |
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06-27-2018, 01:08 PM | #1671 |
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07-04-2018, 12:48 PM | #1672 |
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cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?:
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My eldest. ..
She again reaffirmed my previous opinion that she REALLY needs to marry well... She called me to ask.if a 13x9 pan was the same as a 9x13 pan....she was making browies and didon't want to ruin them. Took everything in me not to laugh out loud. .......
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07-16-2018, 01:08 PM | #1673 |
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Sitting at the table after lunch with my 7 yr. old nephew, Jefferson. He starts singing I Love Rock and Roll. It went like this. I love rock and roll put another dime in the JUICE BOX baby!
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07-25-2018, 11:22 AM | #1674 |
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We were sitting at dinner at Firehouse Subs when Blade turns his phone to me and says "I've been hacked!! How did they get into my account without my password? See? (Me looking puzzled) They sent a message out to all my contacts saying I been hacked. How do I let everybody know that wasn't me?"
Me: I don't know. Just capture it and send out another message. Him: What is capture? How do I capture? Me: copy. You'll figure it out. Some time passes then he turns his phone to me again, as I'm reading the screen I'm not hearing what he's saying...but I look over to him and say "Look, knucklehead, that's a "Memory"...Facebook showed you a Memory of your own post from a year ago. You weren't hacked." Causing me to laugh hard as I crossed my eyes at him. My best knucklehead friend is never boring.
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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07-30-2018, 01:13 PM | #1675 |
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I'm house sitting way out in the country for a friend.
A skinny, very young, man with his shinny white legs showing below his shorts knocked on the door, startling me, making my two tiny dogs go all guard-dog-big-bark on him. In all the years I've been at this house, I've never had visitors. It's very strange to have a stranger stop here. When I opened the door, he asked "do you still use Satellite TV?"... I look at him puzzled, he pointed to the dish on the roof. By then, the real big dog in the back yard was going nuts trying to knock down the 8 foot high fence. The kid repeats "Do you use Satellite TV?" ...to which I smile and say "No, we use WiFi for the Roku box."....He started a sales pitch for Dish and asked if he could go around back to check the old cable connection box? (door to door sales guys all the way out here are very rare. But we do have a problem of people going to houses on false pretenses to "scan" properties for future thefts when no one is home)...he nearly ran off the porch when I said "It's not a good time right now. You see that monster 100 pound dog? He ate the last sales guy then chewed through all the cables and ripped them off the brick wall. (Which was partially true.)
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
07-30-2018, 10:07 PM | #1676 |
Mentally Delicious
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I am laughing so loud that I probably owe the upstairs neighbor a week's worth of groceries.
Picture this: Marathon sexy time with JD and we finish in a flush of "OMG...that was amazing" and "Is there any foooooooddd?" I get online and find that Domino's is still delivering and fill up our cart with chicken wings and cheesy bread because sometimes nasty time requires nasty food. And then, JD looks at me and says, "You have a beautiful Puss-Cow." There's a WHOOLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE other story involved with the puss-cow but I'm laughing too hard to tell it.
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08-22-2018, 07:33 PM | #1677 |
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Cracked me up
Seems that whenever I wear my shirt with the badge weird things happen. This morning at breakfast a stranger walked up to me and asked me to clean up a spill that she caused. She thought that I worked for the hotel, ha!
When I got to Base people thought that I was security and asked for directions to the conference. Haha! |
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08-23-2018, 04:47 AM | #1678 | |
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I guess we just have especially helpful or knowledgeable looking faces, Chad. |
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08-23-2018, 05:38 PM | #1679 |
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once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010
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The way Tashi jump and dance around me as I was singing dr. Hook to her. I don't know if she liked it or if she was begging me to shut up
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08-24-2018, 01:11 AM | #1680 |
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Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat |
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