Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[Angeltoes]

I used the word "gypped" all the time as a kid despite having a heritage that includes Romani people, otherwise known as "gypsies." When I was older I asked my grandparents why they never corrected me and they said, "it's just a word...you didn't mean anything bad." Personally, I think family members should let kids know how their words might sound to others, but I do agree that intention matters. For example, I've known straight girls who called everyone "bro." They weren't implying anything about gender or identity. It was just a habit for them. I might call a group of women "guys" like, "come on guys, let's go get a snow cone" Again, I may be a dork, but I'm not implying anything about gender or identity. it's just a speech habit.

I think "dyke" is a tough call since so many lesbians identify with that word. Yes, it's stupid to make assumptions or to go around randomly calling every lesbian a dyke. But we (the community) should also be sensitive to the fact that labels can be confusing. There has never been a time in history when people chose their own label based on sexual identity. Now gay women and transmen are almost expected to choose a label and make it known to the community. I don't mind conforming to that expectation. I consider myself to be a "queer femme" and I most definitely identify as a lesbian, but if someone makes an innocent mistake and calls me by another label, oh well. It's no big deal.

Of course, there are some words so loaded with historical baggage that they should never be used. But the constant censorship gets draining after awhile too. I think sometimes it's better to give people the freedom to show who they really are and what they're all about. That way we know who to avoid.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by TruTexan

for me I find the term Dyke to be offensive because I grew up being called DYKE by straight men yelling it at me meaning that they thought because I'm butch and look butch that I wanted to be a man and used in a very demeaning and derogatory way towards me and friends of mine when we were young. I'm 52 now and I still take it offensively if someone calls me a dyke. I know however that some other folks have reclaimed that word and are proud to be called a dyke and that it means something totally different to them, but for me, Don't.call.me.a.DYKE. period.
Anyone else who doesn't mind that term it's their choice, but I refuse to reclaim a derogatory word that was used towards me and be proud of it. Just my opinion.

Does anyone else have a word or words that they find offensive and other's don't? I see JD and I posted about the same time, and Yeah, don't call me crazy either I hate that word or the word Retard. Those words need to get gone from our vocabulary.

I still deem the word offensive to me even though some claim it. Just the way negative connotation irks me.

[Chad]

I am fairly easy going. You can call me dude, guy, buddy, sir, daddy, and him. Dyke was a negative term from the past that is hard to get past so I would prefer not to be called a dyke.

[boioboi]

I'm working on not using the words stupid, dumb, crazy, and insane as ways to describe experiences.

[storyspinner70]

Any kind of label word can be volatile. For example, I don't mind c**t, but most women I know hate it. My butch happily refers to herself as a dyke. My online "brother" refers to our "dad" as "an old boston dyke" and my dad would say the same. I don't identify as such, mostly because I'm bi. It's more important, I think, that you make yourself clear when someone uses a word you don't like and that they have enough respect to stop using it.

I'm from a small town in the south. There are a LOT of things people say that needs to stop - repairs that are hastily slapped together, for example, or the common word here for brazil nuts. The word retarded hasn't completely gone away and it needs to. People need to stop saying "You....like a girl" or "Your.....is so gay", as an insult.

I will call an ex queer because he's such a homophobe. My friend has several mental illnesses but tries to make light of it, so she and I talk about her being crazy or schizo when she's having a particularly difficult moment. My gay online friend doesn't hesitate to call other gay men faggots.

There are so many careless things we all say that need to stop. I try to be more observant but I'm still horribly at fault sometimes. Once you say it you can never undo it. Words are heavy and they are dangerous. All you can do is try to be as careful as you can to rid yourself of your own ignorance. I've still got a long way to go.

[Nat]

Hmm. Dyke isn't part of my daily vocab, but it has a charge for me. I perk up a bit when people embrace the term.

[JDeere]

Bump bump bump

[Angeltoes]

I don't like the whole "bitch" thing. I don't think the word bitch really needed to be reclaimed. It means a female dog and that's all. I'm not young and I know women my age who come to work and say idiotic things like "where's my bitchez at" lol.

And I want to say, "I'm not your bitch, you bitch." I guess they think it's cool or trendy, but it sucks.

But I have weird, inappropriate sense of humor, so sometimes I laugh at things that offend me. It depends on how funny it is and my mood.