10-26-2010, 09:37 PM | #21 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
as ME Relationship Status:
I don't need no stinking status. Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: somewhere you're not.....
Posts: 1,808
Thanks: 1,961
Thanked 1,691 Times in 694 Posts
Rep Power: 12813868 |
To the Original thread starter, the OP :
Sorry to hear another one of us out there has had to experience such pain. I personally agree with those suggestions of taking care of yourself, love yourself and be good to yourself. Make things about Your needs now and taking good care of YOU. Surrounding Yourself with good friends of support and love and maybe finding a good therapist to help you deal with those feelings of the need to know why and what went wrong, that most of us would want to know if it were our own relationship ending this way. I"m sorry it happened to you, but know that your not the only one out there. Just remember, the most important item on your agenda now in life....IS YOURSELF. Take care of YOU, first and foremost. You will get through this and you will heal......,not today, maybe not tomorrow or next week, or months from now or even a year, but you will get through it, you will heal, and you learn from it along the way. We all did, and so will you. Hang in there, your not alone. sincerely, Just.
__________________
Nothing more, Nothing less, I'm Just Being Me |
The Following User Says Thank You to JustBeingMe For This Useful Post: |
10-30-2010, 10:27 AM | #22 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
...... Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: ....
Posts: 31
Thanks: 1
Thanked 47 Times in 18 Posts
Rep Power: 11327 |
I was told yesterday by my therapist that I outgrew my relationship. This morning as I was reading I came across the quote below oddly enough. I hope that by me posting it here it will help someone else.
"Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing we came to seperation, that place where work begins" Audre Lorde
__________________
Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing we came to seperation, that place where work begins" Audre Lorde |
10-30-2010, 10:39 AM | #23 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Happy Preferred Pronoun?:
she Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: planet Earth
Posts: 682
Thanks: 1,679
Thanked 1,597 Times in 433 Posts
Rep Power: 5678216 |
Quote:
That is incredibly sad to me, albeit true, it hurts the heart to read. I sincerely hope it brought you peace. I obviously have some introspective work to do
__________________
Happiness......it's a choice!! |
|
11-03-2010, 04:11 PM | #24 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
...... Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: ....
Posts: 31
Thanks: 1
Thanked 47 Times in 18 Posts
Rep Power: 11327 |
After a While
AFTER A WHILE
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every goodbye you learn. by Veronica A Shoffstall
__________________
Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing we came to seperation, that place where work begins" Audre Lorde |
11-05-2010, 09:19 PM | #25 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
...... Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: ....
Posts: 31
Thanks: 1
Thanked 47 Times in 18 Posts
Rep Power: 11327 |
Goodbye
Tonight....I am going to bed thankful.
Thankful that it's over and that you walked away.....I discovered today that you lied to me for the past two years. It hurt, but I'm glad I figured it out. You never deserved me, I deserved and do still deserve better..... Continue to tell half truths and play the victim, I'm at peace with your decision and will pray for your next victim........
__________________
Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing we came to seperation, that place where work begins" Audre Lorde |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to greeneyedlady For This Useful Post: |
01-22-2011, 06:17 PM | #26 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
butch Preferred Pronoun?:
boi Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 9
Thanks: 5
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 0 |
have been there
hey hun...so sorry to hear what you are going thru...yes..ive def been there...i have been asking the same question...however, my x and i were only together for 15 months...and even after we split we talked and hung out for like two weeks..and then all of a sudden....nothing...total avoidance...then she started getting angry with me, for calling and emailing....idk what happened either....honestly after thinking about it..i think maybe she found someone else....oh well...her loss....again i know you are hurting...i would love to talk to someone like you, that understands what i have been thru...i just hate that you had to experience the pain and hurt, to understand where i am.....wanna talk?
|
05-01-2011, 07:10 PM | #27 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
only lasting realtionship I have is with my job, my gun and my truck. Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 566
Thanks: 789
Thanked 581 Times in 259 Posts
Rep Power: 2223293 |
I went through the same a little over a year ago. My first butch, we met when I was 14 I was 29 when we split and we had been together the entire time. It will take a toll on your heart for a little while and then you realize that life has a different plan for you and you will move on and be happy, sweetie. Just a bit of advice, dont let one person make your heart go cold.
|
05-01-2011, 09:18 PM | #28 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme, submissive, girl Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Singular Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 133
Thanks: 348
Thanked 492 Times in 107 Posts
Rep Power: 3095522 |
This is a heartbreaking post on multiple levels. Suffice it to say, there is lots of good advice and I'll wade in with a few thoughts of my own.
1) You might actually be suffering from shock. This is a very real physical reaction to trauma. Make sure you get rest, eat healthily, and get someone to talk to. Keep warm- like warm baths etc... 2) Try not to focus on what you couldn't/can't control. Instead focus on all the things you DO have control over. Your health, your physical safety and well-being, and your emotional world. This may require getting therapy or getting the love and support of family and friends. 3) Remember that although you can't see the sense or the reason in this right now, it will eventually become clearer as time goes on. Try and be in the moment with it and feel what you need to feel so that you can let go of it and move on. There is a whole life out there for you still and many more people to love and care for and be loved and cared for back. Breathe. *hugs* |
The Following User Says Thank You to Silverseastar For This Useful Post: |
05-01-2011, 09:47 PM | #29 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
as myself Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
depends on the day..... Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: suburbia
Posts: 19
Thanks: 28
Thanked 31 Times in 14 Posts
Rep Power: 22373 |
Hey- sorry you're going through all this. ((((squeezes))))
Is there any chance she's become an addict? This sounds all-too-familiar. The missing money, misdirected anger, reluctance to account for her whereabouts, etc. It may be mental illness or addiction. In my case she had a very serious addiction& we no longer speak. The damage she brought about was simply unforgivable. Either way-she's gone. It's over. Please take some time to focus on yourself. This isn't your fault. I don't know why you had to move out and lose all the money in your joint accounts but that's over, too, and not my business. Find a therapist or, if money is an issue, a good friend to talk to. Being alone may not be the greatest idea and please, please avoid the urge to jump into a rebound relationship just so you're not lonely. You're going to be angry, then scarily perky, then crying your eyes out then bouncing off the walls.....you get the picture. Like everyone else said -be good to you. You aren't alone and you can learn from this experience without letting your heart turn to stone. I'll say it again - it's not your fault. Okay? |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to free-to-be For This Useful Post: |
07-12-2011, 09:03 PM | #30 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
ftm Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
committed. Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 493
Thanks: 1,110
Thanked 1,957 Times in 458 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
This is a tough one for sure ---just these past few days I've had my heart torn apart myself ---and the words "time heals all wounds" ---while true --aren't much comfort at this point.
I have just found this place of community - and I have read the posts that "friends" have posted for you ---this seems like an extremely caring community - take refuge in that ---its hard to "want" answers for something that seems so inconceivable --- trust me ---I am right there with you ---only I am the butch ---asking the questions "why" ---when you give all you have and love without condition ---to be told - that classic line - "it isn't you - it's me" ---as if that were a help - but it is true ----it isn't 'you' ---but that doesn't make it easier ---and for what it is worth ---I send you all the good thoughts and energy I have right now --because I truly know as do so many on within this community I am sure ---know what you are going through ---so, hang in there ---be true to yourself ---and move forward day by day ---maybe even moment by moment ---and know that you are worthy of "more" ... |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to justanolecowboy For This Useful Post: |
08-07-2011, 05:17 PM | #31 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Yes Ma'am! Butchiness- hard shell candy with a soft center Relationship Status:
I've bee found-Life has new meaning to me Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: yankee in southern waters
Posts: 352
Thanks: 685
Thanked 312 Times in 136 Posts
Rep Power: 2730228 |
Don't loose heart~
Its hard sometimes impossible to make sense of it all... you know It would be kinder if loves would let you know they are unhappy and want to fly & just say so.(sometimes that does happens) The not knowing whys are a "very little" less painful. This here is cowardis and mean. Don't feel badly about yourself . Give the hurt up ~talk about it. It will seem like traveling down endless roads of thought that become dead ends~ but discard them and keep moving through. You may not find the answer you are looking for but you will still learn and grow and thats the journey.
__________________
Dogs' Lives are too Short. Their Only Fault Really. Agnos Sligh Turnbull |
08-07-2011, 05:26 PM | #32 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Female Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
My rainbow is way overdue Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 1,145
Thanks: 1,659
Thanked 2,026 Times in 555 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
"Can I just say that bipolar isn't necessarily what is going on here? Many people and even some psychiatrists confuse bipolar disorder with borderline personality disorder. I have bipolar disorder, and it expresses itself in terms of mood swings, from very high, to very low. It is episodic and is a function of synapses mis-firing in the brain. Medication can help tremendously with this illness.
Borderline personality disorder is very different." Thanks Drew!
__________________
Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining...In the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to FeminineAllure For This Useful Post: |
Tags |
breakup, change, partner, separation |
|
|