Too screwed up to be Loved?

[Anomaly]

Sometimes I know the feeling. I've had a couple serious realtionships go sour, and it seems to always leave me wondering what's wrong with me. It's only years later when I'm looking back, remembering the new terms I learned, like "emotional abuse," and "sexual discrepency," where I can have some peace and know that I'm not unlovable, it just wasn't the relationship for me. Like I'll look at my ex from 10 years ago, and she's a character and really funny with her goofy temper and all the off-the-wall stuff she says, but I can't believe I ever beat myself up over her opinions.
She cray.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

Well, I am an ugly femme so you might not appreciate my opinion but...

Noone has ever so much as wanted to flirt with me in a bar or buy me a drink so...

I would take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

Hi, 4everlonelyfemme.

I was thinking about your post. I wanted to tell you, for what it's worth, that I've always noticed that people's level of attractiveness (based on whatever cultural standard you hold), seems to have no correlation at all to whether or not they're in a relationship, or in a good relationship, for that matter.

I look around at the people I know in couples, and some are movie-star gorgeous; others, more unique looking. I think it has more to do with their personalities, their access to a community, dumb luck, etc.

Just thought I would share that with you.

Scout

[Glenn]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

d take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

So when you see other couples together you feel like strangling them right? Lol. Don't be so selfish and spoiled, and blame them! It's not their fault if you don't get your way while looking in your " delusional ugly mirror." You really are not ugly you know. And do not settle for whatever you can get either!
When I was an 18 year old butch, and young like you, I was delusional too, thinking the opposite of ugly. I thought I was such a good-looking, white-knight, (but in reality, I was really conceited and co-dependent, who thought I knew everything.) So , when I met a damsel in distress like you, I tried to help her. (and deep down, we both felt unworthy, but tried to save each other anyway) so she'd love me forever and not be lonely anymore. And because of our co-dependency needs, we trauma bonded, and complained about the world together, and became crazy together and dysfunctionally in/compatible together. and on and on it went... Like that song by Eminem, Love The Way You Lie.- quote "you're the same as me."

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

Well, I am an ugly femme so you might not appreciate my opinion but...

Noone has ever so much as wanted to flirt with me in a bar or buy me a drink so...

I would take anything I can get, but that seems to be nothing and nobody. So it's not a matter of being screwed up, it's all about your standards etc...Like if you're superficial of course you're not going to find true love.

Really wheneever I see stuff like from guys or butch lesbians about oh am I ever going to find someone the only thing I can think of is, this person would reject MY love in 5 seconds so... Can't take it seriously.

Your thoughts create your reality. So take a hard look at them. Being young and easily influenced by the media and your peers is going to be difficult to deal with if you don't develope a strong inner core.

I was a mess at your age. Now at 56 I know for a fact that I'm beautiful, funny, smart, quirky, loving, impossibly onery, cuter than hell, and irresistable. (except when i'm on my pity pot to my great embarrassment)

I am FEMME. Make no mistake, I love myself first because that's where love lives. (keep in mind this is a daily challange) Inside us. Love is not found outside of your self. (learned the hard way) Become the love you are looking for. Knowing love means you will recognize it when you come across it in others. (That's my belief)

Focus on giving to others, not receiving.

[Cid]

I used to think I was too screwed up to be loved and lost both a lover and really great friend. I didn't see what I had and kept her at arm's length.
One thing I learned was why I did that and what lesson I learned from that relationship.

1. It wasn't entirely my fault (best lesson to learn)
2. If you really care about someone, it's ok to put the walls down.
3. It's ok to be different, just make sure you fit in each other's world instead of
one trying to fit into the other's world.
4. Make sure the relationship is a two way street.
5. Self esteem is the most beautiful part of a woman.

[CharmingButch25]

So I revisit my thread and I think I have finally had a breakthru in my own personal crap! Im not too screwed up, I just needed to clear my mind refocus and things are getting better! Im starting something new and its very unfamiliar to me , scary but in a good way, I just hope I don't mess it up but with a positive attitude I think things will be ok, and at the end if the day I have the best love anyone could want that of a child that love comes with no conditions and nothing better than kissing my little one goodnight!

[CharmingButch25]

So a lot can change in a week, I have decided to just focus on me and my little one! She loves me for me, and as for everything else it will fall into place when it's supposed to!

[Leigh]

Best to focus on yourself for now Charming, I'm starting to do that too and its making a world of difference for me

[sweetee]

O my I sure know all about this , i have issues that i cant do anything about right now ,It makes it hard for others to want to be be with me or/and sometimes be even my friend ....I have started to work on my stuff and I do hope within a few months i will be on the right track ....just never give up !I refuse to think and or let others hold me down any more ....i had a pretty messed up childhood as well and yes it can be hard to get past that and not let it seep into ever day life but ...sometimes ya got to just tale a really deep breathe close your eyes and le it all go ...have a good cry ...it cleanses the soul .Then Take one day at a time ....Thats what im doing ..

[wahya]

I used to be. But I have learned a whole different me exists. Thank God!