Neurodiversity

[katzietootle]

a 9 year old with autism learned to play piano by ear using only three notes but can play a whole song such as this (copied and pasted)
i dealt with this kid when he was still 2 and can't barely say A,E, when he still needs motivation with his sitting tolerance, has fleeting eye contact, cannot recognize letters,don't have imitation skills...and now...yeeba!!!im so proud of him... and everyone around him who gives him undying love and support...

[violaine]

[QUOTE=StoneFinn;97630]sometimes there's not a word or set of words. just a picture i cannot draw here. it's just about needing to be where someone else understands.

yes!

.

.

[Liam]

I've been thinking about this for some time, and I decided to put it out there to those on the spectrum. Did you have to learn, NOT to trust people?

[Andrew, Jr.]

Liam,

I do not know how to not to trust people. I trust everyone. Then when I get burned, I know what you mean. Otherwise the answer is no.

Now I try to be a forgiving man, and try to practice my faith. I try to always turn to my other cheek, and to always embrace everyone. No matter who or what they are. They are people and they require love above all things.

Andrew

[violaine]

[QUOTE=Liam;105023]I've been thinking about this for some time, and I decided to put it out there to those on the spectrum. Did you have to learn, NOT to trust people?

dear liam,

in a word- yes.

when i was a small child, and my family mentioned someone 'stealing' me, i'd say, 'don't worry, they'll bring me back in ten minutes!' do you think that i must have repeated what i overheard?



acceptance is beautiful to know, and to be able to provide others. if an individual is wired to be naturally open, and then grows up with a lot of freedom to 'be', how does she know that not everyone else out there receives the same wiring/familial experiences?

it took me a long time to figure out!


ways i learned to be more guarded around certain people fairly straightforward: i feel worse around them than i do otherwise, and more adds up in the negative column. sure, there are people [NT's], capable of detecting things sooner- and that's ohk! seeing roundly, i.e., often for me means taking the long road- with friend/co-worker/person of interest/family member, and while it's true, i may eventually be out of a friendship [that * i * thought existed], better to be out than remain stuck in one-sidedness.

on the other hand, a break just may be needed. it depends on the person, situation, and whether or not my bounce-back has been exhausted!

perils. pleasures. of AT wiring.

eta: it 'feels' worse being around them. emotionalising the patterns of undesirable behaviour. this happens after trying to make sense of the confusion, and then communicating questionable scenarios- intellectualising first and then going on how that is received. patterns and connections. it comes in stages- not all at once, like it may work for NT's.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Liam,

I do not know how to not to trust people. I trust everyone. Then when I get burned, I know what you mean. Otherwise the answer is no.

Now I try to be a forgiving man, and try to practice my faith. I try to always turn to my other cheek, and to always embrace everyone. No matter who or what they are. They are people and they require love above all things.

Andrew

I understand what you mean, Andrew, with the exception of a bump with my dentist, when I was four, I have pretty much always assumed people are kind and honest. However, my online experience has changed that, and I have learned not to be invested in people being honest, kind or even fair.

Originally Posted by violaine

dear liam,

in a word- yes.

when i was a small child, and my family mentioned someone 'stealing' me, i'd say, 'don't worry, they'll bring me back in ten minutes!' do you think that i must have repeated what i overheard?



acceptance is beautiful to know, and to be able to provide others. if an individual is wired to be naturally open, and then grows up with a lot of freedom to 'be', how does she know that not everyone else out there receives the same wiring/familial experiences?

it took me a long time to figure out!


ways i learned to be more guarded around certain people fairly straightforward: i feel worse around them than i do otherwise, and more adds up in the negative column. sure, there are people [NT's], capable of detecting things sooner- and that's ohk! seeing roundly, i.e., often for me means taking the long road- with friend/co-worker/person of interest/family member, and while it's true, i may eventually be out of a friendship [that * i * thought existed], better to be out than remain stuck in one-sidedness.

on the other hand, a break just may be needed. it depends on the person, situation, and whether or not my bounce-back has been exhausted!

perils. pleasures. of AT wiring.

eta: it 'feels' worse being around them. emotionalising the patterns of undesirable behaviour. this happens after trying to make sense of the confusion, and then communicating questionable scenarios- intellectualising first and then going on how that is received. patterns and connections. it comes in stages- not all at once, like it may work for NT's.

Why on earth would anyone want to return you in ten minutes, Belle? That is a wonderful story of how we repeat what we hear, when we are kids.

Feelings, are so tricky, I don't think many NT folks understand how foreign they are, to many of us on the spectrum. It took a long time for me to understand what a stomach ache can mean for me. I've come to recognise that this means something is terribly off and it is not good. This unfamiliarity with feelings is definitely a two-edged sword, however I am grateful I am how I am.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Liam,

I posted the other day that I felt that everyone here was my family. And I had someone tell me this was a community, and not a family. It confuses me. I was rejected by my family, and abandon. So tell me what are we then?

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Liam,

I posted the other day that I felt that everyone here was my family. And I had someone tell me this was a community, and not a family. It confuses me. I was rejected by my family, and abandon. So tell me what are we then?

Aargh! That annoys me so much! I wouldn't presume to correct your interpretation of "family", even if I saw this place as "community"... or whatever else I wanted to call it.

Family and community and words like that can mean very different things to different people.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

So tell me what are we then?

We are whatever you feel is right to call us, and nobody can tell you that you are wrong. Who can dictate what these kinds of things mean to another?

Hrumphy!

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Liam,

I posted the other day that I felt that everyone here was my family. And I had someone tell me this was a community, and not a family. It confuses me. I was rejected by my family, and abandon. So tell me what are we then?

Andrew, I believe she was sharing that she makes a distinction between family and community, relative to this online community. That is her reality, and you are most certainly entitled to yours, which does not have to match up with anyone else's, in order for it to be valid.

I am proud to call you brother.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Liam,

I posted the other day that I felt that everyone here was my family. And I had someone tell me this was a community, and not a family. It confuses me. I was rejected by my family, and abandon. So tell me what are we then?

I believe I said

This is where we *differ*

How you choose to see anyone is solely up to you Andrew, I made that distinction clear.

Originally Posted by urs

Aargh! That annoys me so much! I wouldn't presume to correct your interpretation of "family", even if I saw this place as "community"... or whatever else I wanted to call it.

Family and community and words like that can mean very different things to different people.



We are whatever you feel is right to call us, and nobody can tell you that you are wrong. Who can dictate what these kinds of things mean to another?

Hrumphy!

I was not interpreting anything for Andrew I was posting from *my* Snow space and what family meant to *me*

I hope that makes sense.

Thanks Liam for correcting this..

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I believe I said

This is where we *differ*

How you choose to see anyone is solely up to you Andrew, I made that distinction clear.

I was not interpreting anything for Andrew I was posting from *my* Snow space and what family meant to *me*

I hope that makes sense.

Thanks Liam for correcting this..

Thanks for clarifying hon!
In that case I'm not hrumphing at you - but the people who do think that way (and there are peeps who still do, more's the pity).
xx

[Andrew, Jr.]

Lady Snow,

It is confusing to me. I love you as my sister. I talk to most everyone each day. I would think that you would love me as your brother. What is the difference between that love and being born by the same mother? I am not ref. to anything racial. I don't believe in that at all. My love is the same like I have for Urs or Madusa or anyone else.

In community and love of family how are they different then? I am lost.

Andrew

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Lady Snow,

It is confusing to me. I love you as my sister. I talk to most everyone each day. I would think that you would love me as your brother. What is the difference between that love and being born by the same mother? I am not ref. to anything racial. I don't believe in that at all. My love is the same like I have for Urs or Madusa or anyone else.

In community and love of family how are they different then? I am lost.

Andrew

I would like to take this elsewhere Andrew out of respect to everyone in here, I have a boy who is Aspie, and he can pick up on energies and things that go out of wack, this to *me* feels to *heavy* in energy for myself and people in here who have *enough* going on with their extra senses.. I will copy and paste and find the Red Zone so I can address it properly..

[Andrew, Jr.]

Lady Snow,

It was just posted that you are dating Weatherboi, and that somehow this is being twisted around to mean something totally different than what I am saying. No. I am done.

I don't mean disrespect. I had no clue. I apologise yet again too have offended you and Weatherboi. I feel like a jackass.

Andrew

[Ursy]

There will always be misunderstandings... the trick is to move on.

Easier said than done! I don't know if it's an Aspie thing, but I berate myself when I am part of a misunderstanding. I was quite old when I realised that most others just shake it off and keep going (but I don't know if that's a neurotypical thing in particular).

It's a very painful part of my existence, especially as misunderstandings can happen relatively frequently when you're an Aspie, but I am working on it.

Do you think it's an Aspie thing? The berating oneself I mean. Oh, and the hanging on to stuff that is best let go? 'Cause that's something else I have to work on!

[christie]

Originally Posted by urs

There will always be misunderstandings... the trick is to move on.

Easier said than done! I don't know if it's an Aspie thing, but I berate myself when I am part of a misunderstanding. I was quite old when I realised that most others just shake it off and keep going (but I don't know if that's a neurotypical thing in particular).

It's a very painful part of my existence, especially as misunderstandings can happen relatively frequently when you're an Aspie, but I am working on it.

Do you think it's an Aspie thing? The berating oneself I mean. Oh, and the hanging on to stuff that is best let go? 'Cause that's something else I have to work on!

Urs -

My Aspie son doesn't berate himself. In fact, Bratboy has quite an opposite reaction in that he ALWAYS projects any blame/responsibility on others. Nothing is ever his fault. As a parent, I find this as equally difficult to navigate as the self berating. I "think" it would be easier to try and show him that he is not solely responsible for something rather than to try and show him that he does have responsibility in a situation.

We have NINE days of school left and if the last week has been an indicator, I would rather eat nails. He has decided that he doesn't need to go, that he can just repeat the 11th grade next year. He knows well enough that he will finish the school year, and to me, the frustration is that he spends so much time making the simplest of things so fucking difficult. I keep reminding him that he isnt 18, he doesnt live in a democracy and in most instances, he doesnt get to vote. LOL

[Andrew, Jr.]

Christie0918,

You are fortunate in that your son doesn't berate himself. I do. It's a trigger. Moving on is much easier said than done for me.

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by christie0918

Urs -

My Aspie son doesn't berate himself. In fact, Bratboy has quite an opposite reaction in that he ALWAYS projects any blame/responsibility on others. Nothing is ever his fault. As a parent, I find this as equally difficult to navigate as the self berating. I "think" it would be easier to try and show him that he is not solely responsible for something rather than to try and show him that he does have responsibility in a situation.

We have NINE days of school left and if the last week has been an indicator, I would rather eat nails. He has decided that he doesn't need to go, that he can just repeat the 11th grade next year. He knows well enough that he will finish the school year, and to me, the frustration is that he spends so much time making the simplest of things so fucking difficult. I keep reminding him that he isnt 18, he doesnt live in a democracy and in most instances, he doesnt get to vote. LOL

Actually now that you mention it, my dad (who we're quite sure is Aspie) is similar - he is never at fault. I guess it depends on the individual personality. I imagine that it might be tied to the "theory of mind" thing.

Anyway, I hope it all settles down for you and bratboy - they can be trying, for sure. Bek and I went through some bad times - but we're in a good place right now. May there be a good place waiting for you and bratboy soon! xx

[katzietootle]

someone help...
do anyone here knows how to manage visual stims?i dealt with verbal stims and other self stimulatory behaviours but i'm having a hard time managing visual stims...

[Andrew, Jr.]

Not a clue.