The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[morningstar55]

Morning loft dwellers and peekers

Its gona b a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
headng to west Memphis this morning.

yotly.... im at a wow, may I ask.. forgive me if im asking a crazy question... how does the mennonite culture feel of queer women??

[yotlyolqualli]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Morning loft dwellers and peekers

Its gona b a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
headng to west Memphis this morning.

yotly.... im at a wow, may I ask.. forgive me if im asking a crazy question... how does the mennonite culture feel of queer women??

They don't particularly welcome me with open arms LOL!

Let me say though, that there ARE Mennonites who either silently and some verbally, include and even move to openly include GLBTQ members of the community. I can say, pretty assuredly though, that those who do, are more progressive in their thinking, but also in their style of dress and their practice of the faith.

If you saw me on the street, you would notice me, because I dress very conservatively... similar to Amish style clothing. However, if you saw me in a group of conservative Mennonites or Amish, you would not be able to tell me apart from them. But neither by myself, nor with a group of Mennonites, would you ever be able to tell that I am gay. I can't/don't wear jewelry of any kind, so... identifying myself with rainbow jewelry is out. I only have one dress that's a printed cotton, and it's very light pastel colors on a white background. So, wearing rainbow colors is out.

Wearing plain clothing is rather a contradiction. We are to set ourselves apart from the rest of the world... we are called to be a "pecular" people, not conforming... so we do not, I do not, wear what other "english" people wear. I want to be set apart from them, as I feel I am called to be. However, having said that.. part of dressing plain, without alot of bells and whistles, not only covers the whole modesty issue, it also covers the "not drawing special attention to yourself through your appearance" issue. While we are to set ourselves apart from the world, we are not suppose to be vain enough, to want to draw attention to our personal appearance, thus avoiding vanity and pride.

Wearing jewelry, makeup, would be conforming, wearing loud prints and colors would be drawing attention LOL

So....

As far as community... even though I am not welcomed into membership at any Mennonite church in my area (there's about 20 in a 20 miles radius) doesn't make me any less Mennonite. It's how I was raised, how I believe and how I live my life. Old fashioned doesn't even begin to describe it.

But as for dressing like I do.... and I do do it for the afore mentioned reasons... there's also something else. Something inside of me... and it is also taught, but perhaps not with the "kinky" twist that I perceive LOL...

My body is to be covered modestly.. that is why I wear the dress, the caped apron (full body apron) and the tights... all of that. But also... I like the entire idea of saving my body, not allowing anyone who is not my spouse, to see my body, to see the sexual, the sensual.. that is for my spouse and my spouse alone to see. The same with my "uncovered" head... only my spouse should see that.. and I'll go further and say only my spouse should see my "crowning glory" (Biblical reference) which is my hair... down.

As an aside.... most Amish women, barring medical purposes, have never ever had their hair cut, trimmed or in any way shortened. By the time they get to their 20's, their hair can reach their feet! It was the apostle Paul that said that a woman's hair was given to her for a "crowning glory". But that's a whole other ball of wax.

Take care MS and thanks for the interest!

[*Anya*]

I had joined a different dating site. I specifically put "Femme" as part of my user name, in my profile I wrote that I was attracted to butch women, not feminine women like myself and it pretty much worked.

A few femmes responded anyway (why? I don't know) but for the most part, my responses were mostly from butches. The site is chock-full of femmes, some with user names like: looking4mybutch. Couldn't be more clear, I'd say!

OS, if you have any interest in trying somewhere else, pm me and I will give you the info. It is free to join.

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by yotlyolqualli

Try finding a Butch woman, willing or interested in dating a femme who also happens to be Mennonite and dresses like one. lol That's discouraging and it's even worse when people say, "maybe you should rethink "dressing" the part". To me, that's like saying I should change who I am, my values, traditions, culture and beliefs, JUST to find a partner.

I'm me and I won't change for anyone. Even if it means spending the rest of my life alone. Wearing plain clothes isn't a fashion statement or a preference... it's a way of life, a code of conduct, a statement of faith. Denying it would be like denying a very integral part of who I am.

Never having a once in a lifetime love, is far better than living a lie and never truly loving myself because of it.

I can see that would be hard. I can't imagine being a Butch Mennonite! All that aside, I do believe that it is what is inside a Femme that makes her attractive, not the outer shell/ clothing.

Like my Old School self, I have my own quirks that seem out dated to many, but it is me and that is something I won't change. Some folks can do things like casual sex, heck I will not even answer sex related kinds of questions on the on line dating sites, too personal. I want to get to know someone BEFORE I get to know them... in that biblical sense See, now that is attractive, keeping your values because they are you

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I had joined a different dating site. I specifically put "Femme" as part of my user name, in my profile I wrote that I was attracted to butch women, not feminine women like myself and it pretty much worked.

A few femmes responded anyway (why? I don't know) but for the most part, my responses were mostly from butches. The site is chock-full of femmes, some with user names like: looking4mybutch. Couldn't be more clear, I'd say!

OS, if you have any interest in trying somewhere else, pm me and I will give you the info. It is free to join.

Try something new?!.... Oh, you mean a different website

[cuddlyfemme]

Good Morning Everyone! Happy Friday! What does everyone have planned for the weekend?

[LipstickLola]

Good afternoon all ye Lofters! Hoping everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!
If not fabulous? at least calm and peaceful

I'm trying to not be impatient about being on crutches, when all I really want to do is throw them down and run....


I see videos in my future, LOL

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by cuddlyfemme

Good Morning Everyone! Happy Friday! What does everyone have planned for the weekend?

Hey there cuddly, it has been quite a long time since I have seen you around...since you moved to South Carolina! I was in Darlington about a month ago. Glad to see you here

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Good afternoon all ye Lofters! Hoping everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!
If not fabulous? at least calm and peaceful

I'm trying to not be impatient about being on crutches, when all I really want to do is throw them down and run....


I see videos in my future, LOL

Good evening LipstickLola.... There has got to be a shorter version of your name for those of us typed-challenged!

Do what you doctor says no matter how much you wanna run!

[morningstar55]

]Morning loft dwellers and peekers
its a awsome cool crispy morning here in the TN country side no fumes, noise trucks .. maybe i can get in a painting mood .

Ty Yotly for the interesting post
Now ha 1 more ?
How in the world do u pronounce your name and what does it mean?

[OS Butch]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

]Morning loft dwellers and peekers
its a awsome cool crispy morning here in the TN country side no fumes, noise trucks .. maybe i can get in a painting mood .

Ty Yotly for the interesting post
Now ha 1 more ?
How in the world do u pronounce your name and what does it mean?

Good morning to you, morningstar. Have a great weekend and be safe out there on the road!

Btw, I was gonna ask that same question to yotlyolqualli! Now we have to wait for the answer

[yotlyolqualli]

Hello Lofters! Hope your weekend is an awesome one!!

As for my name.. it is two seperate words in the Nuahtl language. The language still being used today in the Aztecan-Ute tribes of Native Americans.

A woman who I met online, a Native woman, by the name of XOtzin, gave me this name. We had been friends for a while and she came through HELL and back in the short time I knew her. Part of her transformation, was becoming more directly involved in tribal matters and ceremonies. She began to dance and now teaches it! Anyway, in the course of the time we were close, she was preparing to go "up on the hill". Those who do so, in her tribe, take a ceremonial blanket with them. She asked me to make her one. I agreed, asking her how it should look. As was XOtzin, she said.. figure it out lol. SO, after doing some research, I crocheted her an afghan. On it, I placed medicine wheels, in colors of the four directions and an image kept coming into my head. I thought it was the sun and I crocheted what I saw in my head. In the end, it looked like a spider. I was kinda worried, because I had wanted it to look like the sun. I sent it to her and it got there JUST IN TIME for her to pick it up on her way to ceremony, which was in NM... she lives in CO. She did not open the package until she got there. When she did, she was amazed. It seems, unbeknownst to me, because she never indulged the information... that while she is of the Lakota tribe, she is of the Spider clan.

Yeah.

When she came home, she insisted I had a Native soul and she gave me a name. The original name she gave me, in Nuahtl, was Yolchipahualitzli, and even she couldn't pronounce it. LOL So, she came up with a name that meant basically the same thing.

Yotl Yolqualli. Yotl, in Nuahtl, means essence of woman and Yolqualli means purity of heart.

Yot sounds like the beginning syllable of hot-el. But, instead of the "tel"... you simply add the "l" sound... Yol...like the yolk of an egg... qualli.... sounds like kwally... Yotl Yolqualli.

Having said all of that...lol. My given name is Malissa. My family and my "before" friends (before I came out) call me Missy (or Aunt Missy or Grandma Missy), however... my chosen family and my "after" friends, all call me Lissa... short for Malissa... and that is the name I prefer and go by IRL. So please, feel free to use the Yotl Yolqualli name or any shortened version of it, or Lissa!

Take care!

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by yotlyolqualli

Hello Lofters! Hope your weekend is an awesome one!!

As for my name.. it is two seperate words in the Nuahtl language. The language still being used today in the Aztecan-Ute tribes of Native Americans.

A woman who I met online, a Native woman, by the name of XOtzin, gave me this name. We had been friends for a while and she came through HELL and back in the short time I knew her. Part of her transformation, was becoming more directly involved in tribal matters and ceremonies. She began to dance and now teaches it! Anyway, in the course of the time we were close, she was preparing to go "up on the hill". Those who do so, in her tribe, take a ceremonial blanket with them. She asked me to make her one. I agreed, asking her how it should look. As was XOtzin, she said.. figure it out lol. SO, after doing some research, I crocheted her an afghan. On it, I placed medicine wheels, in colors of the four directions and an image kept coming into my head. I thought it was the sun and I crocheted what I saw in my head. In the end, it looked like a spider. I was kinda worried, ilbecause I had wanted it to look like the sun. I sent it to her and it got there JUST IN TIME for her to pick it up on her way to ceremony, which was in NM... she lives in CO. She did not open the package until she got there. When she did, she was amazed. It seems, unbeknownst to me, because she never indulged the information... that while she is of the Lakota tribe, she is of the Spider clan.

Yeah.

When she came home, she insisted I had a Native soul and she gave me a name. The original name she gave me, in Nuahtl, was Yolchipahualitzli, and even she couldn't pronounce it. LOL So, she came up with a name that meant basically the same thing.

Yotl Yolqualli. Yotl, in Nuahtl, means essence of woman and Yolqualli means purity of heart.

Yot sounds like the beginning syllable of hot-el. But, instead of the "tel"... you simply add the "l" sound... Yol...like the yolk of an egg... qualli.... sounds like kwally... Yotl Yolqualli.

Having said all of that...lol. My given name is Malissa. My family and my "before" friends (before I came out) call me Missy (or Aunt Missy or Grandma Missy), however... my chosen family and my "after" friends, all call me Lissa... short for Malissa... and that is the name I prefer and go by IRL. So please, feel free to use the Yotl Yolqualli name or any shortened version of it, or Lissa!

Take care!

Awsome .... now am truely amazed
Ty ...... very interesting and pleasant read, wishing I had my coffee... hmmmm ... guess I need to go take care of that. lol

[cuddlyfemme]

Originally Posted by OS Butch

Hey there cuddly, it has been quite a long time since I have seen you around...since you moved to South Carolina! I was in Darlington about a month ago. Glad to see you here

Hey OS, its good to see you!!! As for SC and me...I absolutely hate it here, wish I was back in DC

[cuddlyfemme]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Good afternoon all ye Lofters! Hoping everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!
If not fabulous? at least calm and peaceful

I'm trying to not be impatient about being on crutches, when all I really want to do is throw them down and run....


I see videos in my future, LOL

I can totally relate, I want to throw my walker out the window and be able to walk again

[morningstar55]

evening Loft dwellers and peekers.. hope you had a great day so far..

[ruthie14]

Sooo after a full day of work yesterday 7-4 and babysitting 6 -11 (that put me in bed at 12) I had gotten a last minute phone call from friends in a pinch. So I got up at 5am babysat from 6-10, then 11 - 3... got my other clients at 11:15 (had all three together)... took them all to lunch and dollar store. Worked with clients till 4:30. I am glad for the money, but I am one tired chica!!! Managed to meet a friend a few minutes away to walk around an Irish festival around 6 tonight..we watched the sunset over the delaware, had a drink at an Irish pub.. and I was home by 8:30. ..

ok.. now.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zz

[clay]

Evening all you lofters!!! I don't get by here often but I do read your posts. I miss all of you!
Have a wonderful rest Ms. Ruthie!!!
Hugs everyone...enjoy Sunday!!!! Clay

[Galahad]

Glad to see most of you are over the heat. I hope we get some autumn this year. Take care everyone and have fun.

[DMW]

So, little time these days to read or share. But, what i do get to read i appreciate it. So, it will be a how do? and check ya later deal for me again.