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Old 05-18-2014, 05:07 AM   #301
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Old 05-18-2014, 11:17 AM   #302
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A woman calls her husband to tell him that their two sons want to go to the zoo, then a movie.

"That's too expensive," he says, "it's one or the other."

"Okay, which one do you prefer?"

The husband replies, "Mikey."

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Old 05-18-2014, 12:15 PM   #303
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Old 05-18-2014, 04:51 PM   #304
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Old 05-18-2014, 06:45 PM   #305
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Knock knock!
Who's there?
Little old lady?
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn't know you could yodel!
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Old 05-18-2014, 08:00 PM   #306
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:10 AM   #307
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:28 AM   #308
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Old 05-19-2014, 02:45 PM   #309
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Why is turtle wax so expensive?

Because turtles have such tiny ears.

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Old 05-19-2014, 04:45 PM   #310
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Old 05-19-2014, 05:16 PM   #311
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How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
(Your head hits the ceiling!)


How do you raise a baby elephant?
(With a fork lift!)

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Old 05-20-2014, 02:18 AM   #312
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For my 6th grade Algebra teacher, Ms. York.

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Old 05-20-2014, 06:05 AM   #313
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Old 05-20-2014, 03:40 PM   #314
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Old 05-20-2014, 05:27 PM   #315
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Patient: I think I'm a pair of curtains!
Doctor: Pull yourself together!
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:51 AM   #316
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:03 AM   #317
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:01 PM   #318
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What color socks do bears wear?
(They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)

What do little penguins sing when their father brings fish home for dinner?
(Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!)

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Old 05-21-2014, 04:02 PM   #319
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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's just me.


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cowsgo.
Cowsgo who?
No they don't, cowsgo moo.
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Old 05-21-2014, 05:08 PM   #320
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