Halp! I never developed gaydar and I need...

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by deedarino

To me gaydar is about recognition. We just notice what we recognize. You recognize some things, actions in her (she has some butch style for sure) but her "look" is causing misfires in your brain...lol.

What I see in your description is a person who knows you are gay, and is purposefully sending you "hints" to say...hey look at me. Now she may not be gay, but she is definitely enjoying the ride...

The best part of all will be figuring out why she is enjoying the ride. The next 10 months are gonna FLY by...lol.

well, I suppose it might be her look, but long hair doesn't normally get in my way of recognising... I think I'm wary because she's a world class athletic jock tuner-uper. So she's very jock herself (she has to be. She lifts, flips, physically restrains, 6 foot plus rugby players, large and powerful swimmers etc) - she knows her anatomy inside out and can take you down with a thumb jabbed in the right place) and having been on rowing teams in university myself, I KNOW how dykey they look/feel/present but are absolutely straight and get extremely offended if you think they are gay - due to everyone calling them dykes all the time.

*IF* I still feel attracted to her by the end of the course I'll ask her out. However, because she is so firmly taking me in hand to mould me into a graduate worthy of the institution and possibly having a shot at the one placement offered end of course, I need to knock the attraction on the head and shove it where all unavailable people go (sexy mates who have wives etc) and that's in a small box in the back of my head to fade. I'm very capable of doing this, very *used* to doing this lol

So by the time 10 months pass there's a chance I'll just be "over it".

But I would still like to know! It's an interesting game this! and never played it before! I always found it DULL when people speculated about highly feminine women. But yeah, she has the presenting bravado and masculine attitude that I recognise in my exes. lol and the ME ME ME LOOK AT ME I CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH thing I find very sweet and typical.

Recently, I've dated two dykes who didn't ID as anything but I've said to one "you know for someone who doesn't like to be called a duck, you quack louder than many ducks I've known..."

and when things ended, she wrote me and thanked me for helping her come to understand herself and realise who part of her really was.

The other one was similar. They both also had habits of screwing around with bicurious bored housewives (they live in very small towns and villages) rather than the 2 other single lesbians.

Both these women were over 45. And watching them come in contact with parts of themselves denied, purely because of the long term relationships they were in ... they loved their partners and had no idea the private things about themselves they stuffed into boxes as "unimportant and ok to sacrifice" were actually VERY important. Being someone's first femme at 40+ .... I have to say it's deeply lovely to watch them blossom into themselves.

So I DO wonder sometimes with the ones that don't ID, what is it about *me* that they are attracted to.

Those types of dykes there *is* sort of a mental checklist for me to see if there's a butch put in a box. One is how they physically interact with me. That's big. The second is their history of choice in local partners. third in language about sex, if we get to casually blabbing around it. They will hide things so they don't appear to want something "like a man" because they've probably been criticized about it, but I can leave a very obvious bread crumb trail and make it very obvious I'm not going to judge them and in fact I loooooove what they have been thinking about when they've been screwing those bisexual curious bored housewives.

So it's nice to speculate about if Senior Instructor would enjoy that... would I be her first in that way? Or is she actually partnered with someone who does that already? Does she have a male partner? etc.

Re: Yoga instructor - LOL! Great story!

you know a straight friend of mine had a horrible straight-girl crush on a belly dance teacher and followed her everywhere. I know these straight girl crushes. I've had straight girls do that to me. It's strange. They even want to snog etc but I can tell sexual curiosity from honest deep lust. I have had two striaght mates have odd straight girl crushes on me for *years*. I think those ones are my "romantic friendships" - platonic. I can do that with femmes myself. I get femme crushes that I highly doubt I'd enact on (welll... heh... that's a lie, I can think of a couple of femmes I'd be happy to have a friendly roll with...)

Speculations... definitely a fun game. It's just never been something I've been able to join in and play before!

[Talon]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

well, I suppose it might be her look, but long hair doesn't normally get in my way of recognising... I think I'm wary because she's a world class athletic jock tuner-uper. So she's very jock herself (she has to be. She lifts, flips, physically restrains, 6 foot plus rugby players, large and powerful swimmers etc) - she knows her anatomy inside out and can take you down with a thumb jabbed in the right place) and having been on rowing teams in university myself, I KNOW how dykey they look/feel/present but are absolutely straight and get extremely offended if you think they are gay - due to everyone calling them dykes all the time.

*IF* I still feel attracted to her by the end of the course I'll ask her out. However, because she is so firmly taking me in hand to mould me into a graduate worthy of the institution and possibly having a shot at the one placement offered end of course, I need to knock the attraction on the head and shove it where all unavailable people go (sexy mates who have wives etc) and that's in a small box in the back of my head to fade. I'm very capable of doing this, very *used* to doing this lol

So by the time 10 months pass there's a chance I'll just be "over it".

But I would still like to know! It's an interesting game this! and never played it before! I always found it DULL when people speculated about highly feminine women. But yeah, she has the presenting bravado and masculine attitude that I recognise in my exes. lol and the ME ME ME LOOK AT ME I CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH thing I find very sweet and typical.

Recently, I've dated two dykes who didn't ID as anything but I've said to one "you know for someone who doesn't like to be called a duck, you quack louder than many ducks I've known..."

and when things ended, she wrote me and thanked me for helping her come to understand herself and realise who part of her really was.

The other one was similar. They both also had habits of screwing around with bicurious bored housewives (they live in very small towns and villages) rather than the 2 other single lesbians.

Both these women were over 45. And watching them come in contact with parts of themselves denied, purely because of the long term relationships they were in ... they loved their partners and had no idea the private things about themselves they stuffed into boxes as "unimportant and ok to sacrifice" were actually VERY important. Being someone's first femme at 40+ .... I have to say it's deeply lovely to watch them blossom into themselves.

So I DO wonder sometimes with the ones that don't ID, what is it about *me* that they are attracted to.

Those types of dykes there *is* sort of a mental checklist for me to see if there's a butch put in a box. One is how they physically interact with me. That's big. The second is their history of choice in local partners. third in language about sex, if we get to casually blabbing around it. They will hide things so they don't appear to want something "like a man" because they've probably been criticized about it, but I can leave a very obvious bread crumb trail and make it very obvious I'm not going to judge them and in fact I loooooove what they have been thinking about when they've been screwing those bisexual curious bored housewives.

So it's nice to speculate about if Senior Instructor would enjoy that... would I be her first in that way? Or is she actually partnered with someone who does that already? Does she have a male partner? etc.

Re: Yoga instructor - LOL! Great story!

you know a straight friend of mine had a horrible straight-girl crush on a belly dance teacher and followed her everywhere. I know these straight girl crushes. I've had straight girls do that to me. It's strange. They even want to snog etc but I can tell sexual curiosity from honest deep lust. I have had two striaght mates have odd straight girl crushes on me for *years*. I think those ones are my "romantic friendships" - platonic. I can do that with femmes myself. I get femme crushes that I highly doubt I'd enact on (welll... heh... that's a lie, I can think of a couple of femmes I'd be happy to have a friendly roll with...)

Speculations... definitely a fun game. It's just never been something I've been able to join in and play before!

Damn, I love the way you...er..put things, hb...Raaawr..

Okay...back to the topic at hand. What I want to say to you is, I can't believe you're actually wondering what it is about you that this "Senior Instructor", would be attracted to..........

You have an....APPEAL....ok....that is ~quite~ unique unto itself.
And I've only read a few of your *posts* here.
That's really the last thing you should be asking...you sexy b*tch...(sorry, forget that last part).

The fun *is* in the trying to discipline yourself...even though, it probably feels like slow and agonizing water torture....and your body wants to do quite the opposite. And also with the wondering about her...feels just as good as it aches...doesn't it?

Enjoy this part, whatever happens in the end....*this* only comes around once, luv.

[Apocalipstic]

It is sooooo hard to tell....is she? isn't she? why not? what is she thinking?

Here in the US, I would say probably Gay? But who knows really?

It does sound like school is way more fun with her there!

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Talon

Damn, I love the way you...er..put things, hb...Raaawr..

Okay...back to the topic at hand. What I want to say to you is, I can't believe you're actually wondering what it is about you that this "Senior Instructor", would be attracted to..........

You have an....APPEAL....ok....that is ~quite~ unique unto itself.
And I've only read a few of your *posts* here.
That's really the last thing you should be asking...you sexy b*tch...(sorry, forget that last part).

The fun *is* in the trying to discipline yourself...even though, it probably feels like slow and agonizing water torture....and your body wants to do quite the opposite. And also with the wondering about her...feels just as good as it aches...doesn't it?

Enjoy this part, whatever happens in the end....*this* only comes around once, luv.

thanks talon, that was really nice!

And yeah, she massages world class altheticaly scultped bodies and although I'm curvy with massive tits and I'm not painful to look at, I'm no athlete. I'm a slightly chubby 42 year old woman with a lot of skills but she has nooooo idea about them lol.

So I am rather baffled if she is interested. Which I'm finding a bit hard to believe, aside from mentoring me.

Anyway, it is fun and when I can indulge in it, it keeps my mind off of being dateless, needing some sex, a cuddle and watching my exes finding the women of their dreams. I'm glad, everyone deserves to be happy, and I do have a ton of studying to do, and working... But having someone to giggle over some attention feels nice. Would be nice if they were available!

today, I'm a bit fed up with everything. I'm tired, grumpy, I would like some physical affection and someone to get me a glass of juice, damn it.

tomorrow back at it and no time to sulk!

[Talon]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

thanks talon, that was really nice!

And yeah, she massages world class altheticaly scultped bodies and although I'm curvy with massive tits and I'm not painful to look at, I'm no athlete. I'm a slightly chubby 42 year old woman with a lot of skills but she has nooooo idea about them lol.

So I am rather baffled if she is interested. Which I'm finding a bit hard to believe, aside from mentoring me.

Anyway, it is fun and when I can indulge in it, it keeps my mind off of being dateless, needing some sex, a cuddle and watching my exes finding the women of their dreams. I'm glad, everyone deserves to be happy, and I do have a ton of studying to do, and working... But having someone to giggle over some attention feels nice. Would be nice if they were available!

today, I'm a bit fed up with everything. I'm tired, grumpy, I would like some physical affection and someone to get me a glass of juice, damn it.

tomorrow back at it and no time to sulk!

Hang in there babe...I still stand by what I said about you....You could charm the skin off a snake.

[imperfect_cupcake]

gosh really? I'm always envious my my very charming exes and wish I had their ability. Maybe I've picked up a bit?

Thanks talon, that's a lovely thing to hear! x

[Talon]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

gosh really? I'm always envious my my very charming exes and wish I had their ability. Maybe I've picked up a bit?

Thanks talon, that's a lovely thing to hear! x

Well, if they truly were charming...I doubt that they would have chosen a boring ol' sap to bump nasties with....right? They chose you...right?....Right.




*chuckle*

[imperfect_cupcake]

I was doing some back reading and found this thread...

But to fill you all in.... She *was* gay! And turns out, yes, Butch in the way she related to her partner and the relationship they had, but she did not ID as Butch. Well. Not publicly. I found ID to be a private matter with many people in southern England (though not always) and many people would not tell you they ID'd as anything unless you had a quiet and intimate conversation with them that required actually knowing them.

[Violette]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I was doing some back reading and found this thread...

But to fill you all in.... She *was* gay! And turns out, yes, Butch in the way she related to her partner and the relationship they had, but she did not ID as Butch. Well. Not publicly. I found ID to be a private matter with many people in southern England (though not always) and many people would not tell you they ID'd as anything unless you had a quiet and intimate conversation with them that required actually knowing them.

Yes, but did you snog? (Am I using the word correctly?)

[homoe]

I've never had the 'gaydar' thingy myself! I once worked with a straight women who swore she could tell however so we'd joke and say she got my gaydar!

I guess I really don't need any help..IF per chance a femme spots me in a crowd..she'll know for sure!

[job]

Yeah. I'm pretty oblivious. I've even had waitresses two different times give me free drinks for hours, and both times I was like, wow! She's really nice. Then way after the fact notice their name and numbers on the napkins.~>Dork