Trans Men and Butches Raising Femme Daughters. - Page 2

Kaison · 04-14-2011, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

I am starting this thread for one reason...

I don't have a feminine bone in my body and I am raising a very femme little girl.

I find myself lost many times on many subjects. Such as hair..nails..clothes..and how to teach her about her femme self. For example.."shoes do not make the woman". I am at a total loss as to how to teach her to spread her wings and still maintain a respect level for herself in those regards.

So with this thread I am hoping to not only get some advice for myself but for other male identified members of The Planet who are facing the same issues as I.

Any advice, thoughts, hints, tips and ideas are welcome.

P.S.
TY Lady Snow

So much to do and be interested in it all isn't about gender. I have a daughter aged 8 and she has a huge variety of interests from science to gymnastics if you look hard enough you'll find something that you both really enjoy, leave the rest to her. She'll find her way. What matters is that she knows you love her and like spending time with her.

Good Luck
Kai

OS Butch · 04-15-2011, 06:34 AM

My little girl is now 21 and a princess, not because of anything I did, but because it who she has become.

When she was little, I too knew nothing of girlie things. I dressed her in overalls and t-shirts. As she grew, she decided she wanted more girlie stuff and I would follow her into the girls section and she picked out what she wanted to wear. Today she refers to herself as a Straight Femme.

I gave her the knowledge of honor, loyalty, integrity and respect. How to treat people and how she should be treated.

The smile in my heart grew the day she said she hopes to find a guy just like me.

OSB

Quintease · 04-15-2011, 07:45 AM

My mum's not gay, nor is she very girlie. She was far more comfortable in the garden than in a dress, so by the time I was in my mid-teens she started taking fashion cues from me!

Despite her lack of femininity and my abundance of brothers (I have many), I was wearing dresses from the time I could walk, makeup from 14, earrings from 15 and heels from 18.

Later in life my mother commented that had she known I was going to be so femme, she would have done more to encourage me. I wish she had as well. My parents didn't want to be seen encouraging me to learn about makeup or fashion as they didn't feel it was appropriate for young girls. In hindsight I think it would have made me more confident and responsible, and I may have even avoided some of the fashion disasters I went through in my teens

greeneyedgrrl · 05-28-2011, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

I am more looking to help her develop into the womyn *she* sees herself as. The one she wishes to be. Tempered, of course, with not only respect, but self respect and self love.

you don't have to know all things womon and femme, just keep supporting her and allow her to be who she is... just listen, she'll tell you!

it sounds like you're doing a great job helping her to be strong and confident.

Butchlei · 10-09-2011, 03:37 AM

I am the proud Dadda of 3 girls. My two oldest are 9 and 6 ... and yes they are girly girls. Lets say that last year we went to Disney for their birthdays (2 days apart) so they could dress up as princesses and have Brunch in the castle with all the "real" princesses. I get the question every morning from my oldest: " Dadda how do I look? "

The one thing I know is that they are unique ... my 6 year old wanted to cut her hair and has now a boy cut ... she said she didnt want to bother "doing her hair" every morning ... she loves playing with dirt and climbing trees ... Kids at school started to tease her that she looked like a boy ... she didn't blink ... she told them she was a girl ... teasing was over ...

Do I worry? Not really .... i know they are their own person ... with their own personalities ... I just love them just the way they are .... the same way they love me ... Dadda ... the butch .... who sometimes looks "handsome" but not "pretty" ... LOL

Now we have a 4 month old ... she looks like a bold old man without teeth ... can't wait to see her grow ....makes me smile thinking about it .... i just feel blessed for the opportunity of being part of the miracle of life !

04-15-2011, 07:45 AM	#23
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345578	My mum's not gay, nor is she very girlie. She was far more comfortable in the garden than in a dress, so by the time I was in my mid-teens she started taking fashion cues from me! Despite her lack of femininity and my abundance of brothers (I have many), I was wearing dresses from the time I could walk, makeup from 14, earrings from 15 and heels from 18. Later in life my mother commented that had she known I was going to be so femme, she would have done more to encourage me. I wish she had as well. My parents didn't want to be seen encouraging me to learn about makeup or fashion as they didn't feel it was appropriate for young girls. In hindsight I think it would have made me more confident and responsible, and I may have even avoided some of the fashion disasters I went through in my teens __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

04-15-2011, 06:34 AM	#22
OS Butch Member How Do You Identify?: Butch-BLW Preferred Pronoun?: Default-She Relationship Status: Closed Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 488 Thanked 1,378 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 12988704	My little girl is now 21 and a princess, not because of anything I did, but because it who she has become. When she was little, I too knew nothing of girlie things. I dressed her in overalls and t-shirts. As she grew, she decided she wanted more girlie stuff and I would follow her into the girls section and she picked out what she wanted to wear. Today she refers to herself as a Straight Femme. I gave her the knowledge of honor, loyalty, integrity and respect. How to treat people and how she should be treated. The smile in my heart grew the day she said she hopes to find a guy just like me. OSB

10-09-2011, 03:37 AM	#25
Butchlei Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Lan Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New York City Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 39 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 609405	I am the proud Dadda of 3 girls. My two oldest are 9 and 6 ... and yes they are girly girls. Lets say that last year we went to Disney for their birthdays (2 days apart) so they could dress up as princesses and have Brunch in the castle with all the "real" princesses. I get the question every morning from my oldest: " Dadda how do I look? " The one thing I know is that they are unique ... my 6 year old wanted to cut her hair and has now a boy cut ... she said she didnt want to bother "doing her hair" every morning ... she loves playing with dirt and climbing trees ... Kids at school started to tease her that she looked like a boy ... she didn't blink ... she told them she was a girl ... teasing was over ... Do I worry? Not really .... i know they are their own person ... with their own personalities ... I just love them just the way they are .... the same way they love me ... Dadda ... the butch .... who sometimes looks "handsome" but not "pretty" ... LOL Now we have a 4 month old ... she looks like a bold old man without teeth ... can't wait to see her grow ....makes me smile thinking about it .... i just feel blessed for the opportunity of being part of the miracle of life !