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#21 | ||
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Recovery time is probably my biggest obstiscle in all of this. My job is fairly physical so besides saving for the surgery I need enough to cover not working for a month or two. However the nature of what i'm doing right now I believe I can do the surgery and still have work when I'm ready to return. I eventually want to switch jobs however I feel that will push surgery possiblities back another year so if the finaicial stuff comes together in the next month or so if I can finacially swing it I want to do it before I look for a new job. Quote:
The one dr. I'm leaning towards has done other ftms and in fact did theo's work. Haven't set up a consult yet though. Do hope to check out a couple others also. The advantage to the one theo went to is proximatey and cost and i believe a free consultation. There are some more well known ones but I feel some of the cost is paying for the name of the surgeon. i got some other stuff i need to focus on in the next week or so then hopefully i'll know if my finacial stuff is going to happen and I can start putting my energy towards surgery stuff. Thanks for the link .... any other links people can give me is appreiciated. Unfortunately i don't have a lot of patience to sit at a computer and search for stuff. |
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#22 | |
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Im post op done privately in london |
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#23 |
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Hi everyone,
Just checking in. I've posted in respective threads that I am recovering from severe PTSD and pretty much ridding myself of the side effects of severe trauma that I had surpressed for almost 17 years. That's a long time, and there have many times I thought it was over. But because it had been buries for so long, it has taken much longer and required much more than I thought. With each day that I feel better, I draw closer to feeling balanced. I started therapy for transitioning some time ago and delayed it because of having to deal with this issue. I do plan on resuming therapy and beginning T as soon as possible this year and that's exciting to me. Today I've had a nice reprieve from the intensity of PTSD and I was thinking about the changes in me on T. I can't wait! So I wanted to come in and touch base for a few minutes. I've spoken with an FTM friend of mind in St. Louis who is fully transitioned including bottom surgery. I was thinking about facial hair and changes in my structure. I don't require top surgery, having little breast tissue; I've always had a guy's chest and that's a relief to me. I do know that although I'll have a beard, I'll keep clean shaven. Anyway, take care. |
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#24 |
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I need some support.
As many of you know, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I am fully clear and confident in my transmasculine/transgender male identity, mind you. I know who I am and who I am not. That said, I am at a place in my life where it is now time to contact my doctor to start testosterone therapy and transition physically. Now that the moment of truth has arrived, it seems my anxiety has ratcheted up. I don't have doubts about who I am or whether this is really what I want, I swear! I am totally clear about who I am and have been for several years. I want to physically transition. I need to physically transition. I want to feel whole. So why am I so anxious about making that call? I have no freakin' idea, and I wonder if any other guys have felt this way and how they have dealt with it. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance, Drew |
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#25 |
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I'm gonna take a stab at this, Drew. I wonder if it's fear of a doctor saying "No, you're not!" and questioning your decision to take this path. Does it bother you when someone doesn't clue in that you're a guy?
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#26 | |
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This is not an easy choice to make for some...there are variables. Maybe you should touch base in the PTSD and recovery thread. They could give you input about why you're not at peace. One thing is certain...honesty about everything is everything. I'm a trauma survivor. I had to put my T sessions on hold because of PTSD and reaching its core. I will start this year, but it's delayed because of this. I don't want the effects of T entwined with trauma issues. It could be distasterous. Honesty and more honesty. |
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#27 |
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http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1184
Hey I would appreciate any and all participation on the above thread! Thanks |
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#28 | |
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That's what the anxiety was about for me.....plain and simple. As for dealing with it... Having an ally beside you will certainly help. It's scary shit, Drew, so I can honestly say that I feel ya. Take a deep breath and make the call.....without apology. You can do it. Good luck.
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#29 | |
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A) I'm old and tired. I spent my whole life fighting for queer rights, and I'm kinda tired of fighting. I don't have to 'talk about' being queer all the time anymore, because our rights have progressed. I didn't know if I wanted to have to go back 25 years into that bullshit again with trans issues, and anyone thinking they can ask any old question and be a complete asshat B) The questions of just doing something new and different. Wondering if I was going to have regrets. Am I gonna lose my hair. Blah blah blah all that stuff. C) Will I ever have another job? I mean, it's not like people are knockin' the door down to hire transfolks D) Do I want to deal with other people's stupidity E) Am I gonna get killed if I'm walkin' down the street, because of another person's hatred and all that I had a lot of anxiety for a couple of years, and then, I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to transition, and the more I put it off, the older I got...and I wasn't going to live my life at the expense of other people's comfort levels. The Anxiety Will Pass (or at least it did for me), Dylan |
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#30 | |
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I'm at the point that it looks like I'll finally get my top surgery. I've been really anxious about it lately. For me it's cause its change. Not only the physical change but the emotional mental change in that here is something I've been wanting for so long that just the process of wanting it and not knowing if and when it's going to happen has become a part of me. Now it's a reality and that's just different. It's a new phase and it leaves this void of where my energy has been put because I'll no longer be able to think when is this going to happen and about how much I don't like my body. I'm sure i'll find something to replace it but it's scary not knowing what that is. Also is means moving into new horizons that I can't even imagine at this point and that's sort of scary. Hope that helps some |
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#31 |
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hey guys, thanks for all the input, it really helps!
I did make that call, and saw my general practitioner. She referred me to an endo doc. I have an appointment on May 6th. I will need to bring a letter from my therapist, and that won't be a problem. I think my freaking out did have a lot to do with that fear of being told no by my doctor. That didn't happen, so I am really excited about the next step now. I think any big change causes a spike in my anxiety because of the PTSD. The sign that I am healing from it is when it doesn't over-take me to the point where I am paralyzed and can't do anything. I moved through it this time and that is big progress for me. ![]() |
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#32 |
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#33 |
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Gday everyone,
Where are you in your transition? i began that for long time back possible 95 or 96 and didnt have time to see dr, so finally see dr 2006 after i met a friend of mine who is MTF i ask her where is FTM/MTF dr she gave me the addy because it private and done a long process for a year How long have you been on T? since November 2007 (2 years and 5 months), omg i will never forget huge embarrassment first time after first shot oh god dont tell me lol How much T do you take on a bi weekly or monthly basis? 250mg Enanthate every fortnite (every onces 14 days) How does your body react to your shot intake? on depends if im relax had no problem, when im not relax sometimes it hurt on my leg feeling like sting from bees after i injection than next day it fine though make sure careful not to bumped it it freaken hurt when u bumped it, i am very happy as who i am now, as far i love myself too much some days but some days i feeling like grrrrr, it great experience as i feel it rewarding each day Are you pre or post op top and or bottom? at the moment i am still trying to save $$$ to get top done i have not thought about bottom maybe future or will not. Yes someone has mention about hairy body, deepen voice, yes it does i also have little hairy on my body and bit deep voice as well, my hair started thicken just like my dad (that doesnt worry me) i dont feel trap in me anymore it was like let it go and freedom i am more and more happier as who i am now, but one thing i feel sad or heart broken that some people who are not accept as who i am but i have few wonderful support from my friend that who understand what i was going though (before i was FTM) they were very interesting asking me alot questions about being FTM and what my experience etc, always listen my dr and every 6 month get blood test for the T level make sure everything is ok. What i hate: when is it summer i get sweat easy from humidity, middle in the night i can get easy horny from dreaming. Im going to change my name soon when i get enough $$$, but dont forget in aussie is very expensive at the moment all i can do is my best to get it done. |
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#34 |
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Great stuff going on around here. i wish i had more time to spend with ya'll.
My surgery looks like it will be dec 15th. so im looking forward to it. i needed off season to heal well. Im taking my own steps for healthier living. i am now at 165lbs, actually running the treadmill and blading every other day. hard part is quitting smoking, but i will try cold turkey sept 1st. gives me enough time before surgery to get my blood flowing lol. |
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#35 | |
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#36 |
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Well, I got to see a doctor on April 16th that is going to help Me to begin to start My transition. I have a couple more appointment scheduled for the end of May, to get blood work done and to talk to him about My past medical history. By the 4th or 5th appointment, he will have Me on T injections so I am very happy about that. He is also going to help Me with all of My future paperwork for things like future surgeries (hysto and top) as well as changing My marker on My birth certificate and changing My name legally ~ a very exciting time for Me
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#37 | |
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Congrats!!! You must be very excited about this. BTW, when you have the first shot, not a lot will happen afterward other than slight pain at the shot site ![]()
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#38 | |
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#39 | |
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#40 |
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I started on Androgel today for the first time. Starting low at 2.5 g per day. In a month I check with my endo doc and see if she wants to take me up to 5g. This is it, the first day of the beginning of a new life, and I'm not scared at all.
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