06-11-2010, 09:21 PM | #41 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
bigender Preferred Pronoun?:
whatevs Relationship Status:
in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 3,535
Thanks: 11,042
Thanked 13,990 Times in 2,594 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Quote:
I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think.
__________________
I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl
|
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Nat For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:23 PM | #42 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Complex but Tender Preferred Pronoun?:
~Ma`am~ Relationship Status:
Shotgun Rider Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Following the red road
Posts: 4,519
Thanks: 9,304
Thanked 12,952 Times in 3,466 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
A reminder
__________________
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” Judy Garland |
06-11-2010, 09:24 PM | #43 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A Lady..Femme..Free Spirit with a touch of survivalist woman in me. Preferred Pronoun?:
Spiritual Warrior..She Ra..Baby Doll, or anything close..ha! Relationship Status:
In perfect love and perfect trust I believe that will be directed..for now Just friends in my life. Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Live in Utah but take trips to Arkansas. Plan to move there eventually.
Posts: 2,579
Thanks: 11,073
Thanked 5,939 Times in 1,609 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Even in the dictionary it reads:
breed·er (brdr)
n. 1. A person who breeds animals or plants. 2. An animal kept to produce offspring. 3. Offensive Slang A heterosexual person. 4. A source or cause: social injustice breeder of revolutions. Right here it clearing shows many forms of how it is offensive. And a huge amount of offensive sides are not even listed. The word implies we are like cattle...Held to reproduce only. And degrades our parenthood. I for one was not raised to breed. My mother never taught me that was what my adulthood looked like. I chose my mothering. And adore and cherrish it.
__________________
Believe what people show you the first time. It will keep you in balance, and will show you truth! ~*~ Author unknown ~*~ When negative thoughts come to mind, Let them die stillborn. Speak and do posotive in any situation, And watch your dreams grow and flurish. If you can't say anything posotive, Zip it up. Do not give birth to that which you do not want to see grow. See it, Believe it, Own it, Have it! ~*~ Lady Pamela ~*~ |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Lady Pamela For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:24 PM | #44 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atascadero, CA
Posts: 4,933
Thanks: 2,309
Thanked 7,109 Times in 2,327 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
I really don't want this thread to turn into what Dylan thinks about how women are groomed. I get what hy is saying and I hear hym.
I started this thread because just seeing the word upset me. It has been used about me in conjunction with how "girly girl" I am on several occasions. As if being a Queer Woman is a balancing act of being Queer but not too "Girly". I don't think I will ever change my girliness or being a Femme. I wonder why that is frowned upon? Raising kids with a mom, a dad and a partner feels subversive to some degree. More people to love and shape a child and I get to be *me*. It took me a long time to be brave enough to do that. |
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to SuperFemme For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:25 PM | #45 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Complex but Tender Preferred Pronoun?:
~Ma`am~ Relationship Status:
Shotgun Rider Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Following the red road
Posts: 4,519
Thanks: 9,304
Thanked 12,952 Times in 3,466 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
to have a child. I feel for those who want and cannot have a child, my heart breaks for them.
__________________
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” Judy Garland |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Spirit Dancer For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:25 PM | #46 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Guy Preferred Pronoun?:
He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Evergreen State
Posts: 2,269
Thanks: 14,865
Thanked 6,911 Times in 1,862 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
I think it is heterophobic.
__________________
<3 Love is weird. |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Liam For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:25 PM | #47 | |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/2010 Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
She thinks all my jokes are corny Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Great State O'
Posts: 880
Thanks: 1,027
Thanked 1,839 Times in 500 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
Do you think motherhood is so regaled when a man is NOT involved? Because when there's NOT a man around, those women (single women) are seen (STILL...in 2010) as whores and or 'untouchable' by men, because they have another man's child. So, do you think girls are taught to be mothers (and that's not the word I want, because 'mothers' are usually regaled [unless they're single mothers]...mother does not have the same connotation as what I was trying to convey in how the patriarchy treats/grooms girls) I'm not talking about how I (me,me,me) or you or women see parenting/motherhood/etc...I'm talking about patriarchy and how little girls are taught from a young age that their worth is tied to their sexuality and ability to create children. And because I likened that whole post to FLDS and the grooming that takes place in that arena...breed is exactly the right word. Because I don't see the patriarchal grooming of (girl) children in this society as ANY different than FLDS society, and that's EXACTLY how women are treated in that patriarchal society. Dylan |
|
06-11-2010, 09:26 PM | #48 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Relationship Status:
attached Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 6,896
Thanks: 29,046
Thanked 13,118 Times in 3,391 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
|
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Soon For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:27 PM | #49 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
bigender Preferred Pronoun?:
whatevs Relationship Status:
in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tx
Posts: 3,535
Thanks: 11,042
Thanked 13,990 Times in 2,594 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
I was watching youtubes of queer poetry recently and I ran into this discussion of the term "stud." I found it really interesting because I'd never heard anybody argue against the use of the term "stud" within the queer community and also because of the relationship of that word to breeding animals. Obviously this is a term many people in our community claim with pride, I really think there are possible parallels between the terms "stud" and "breeder."
(Since you mentioned other words that hurt our own)
__________________
I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Nat For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:27 PM | #50 |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,118 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
I personally do not see women less than just because they can not or do not or choose not to have children.
Does not make them less than to me...
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:30 PM | #51 | |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,118 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
Quote:
Stud in our culture means more of a machismo way of saying the best. At least in my experience.
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:32 PM | #52 | |
Roadster Guy
How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
Posts: 7,745
Thanks: 26,545
Thanked 26,894 Times in 5,771 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
Quote:
No matter how the term is used, it is insulting and hurtful to others (any others). It shouldn't be used.
__________________
-Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated? |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to DapperButch For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:34 PM | #53 | |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms. Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,118 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
Quote:
It may have been shoved down my face by things around me, it just did not ring true for ME. I am the bomb fucking diggity cause I am a single mom, have been, and still don't need no damn body as I continue to do so. I was taught I can do anything on my own.
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
|
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:37 PM | #54 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Complex but Tender Preferred Pronoun?:
~Ma`am~ Relationship Status:
Shotgun Rider Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Following the red road
Posts: 4,519
Thanks: 9,304
Thanked 12,952 Times in 3,466 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
I am first a women
foremost a mother I am a parent I've been with child I'm queer I'm steadfast in my voice and I'm not nor do I care for the word breeder.
__________________
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” Judy Garland |
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Spirit Dancer For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:40 PM | #55 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeast corner
Posts: 5,633
Thanks: 24,417
Thanked 25,407 Times in 4,661 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Well I'm gonna have to change colors here so I can go point to point...because I think you raise some interesting questions...
Let me start first by saying that, as much as I love the warm sentiments of motherhood...I was NOT raised to be a mother. I was raised by a narcissist who made it very clear to me from a very young age that motherhood ruined her life, her future and her happiness. I was raised to believe that motherhood was one step above slavery, and the last thing in the world I should ever desire. Quote:
__________________
I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters
|
|
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to JustJo For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:41 PM | #56 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
sea shell Relationship Status:
married Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,687
Thanks: 1,927
Thanked 4,377 Times in 1,015 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Quote:
people are so self-righteous about giving birth, i really don't get it: it usually happens by accident and in 99% of cases there is *zero* preparation and planning and all that shit that "the gays" have to go through to acquire a kid. sorry, i just think you're *really* misguided when you say that everyone childless chooses to be childless. and really, how can you have this kind of world-view of mothers and women when you appropriate native american culture in that other thread--the two are so hard for me to reconcile. |
|
06-11-2010, 09:45 PM | #57 | |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Complex but Tender Preferred Pronoun?:
~Ma`am~ Relationship Status:
Shotgun Rider Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Following the red road
Posts: 4,519
Thanks: 9,304
Thanked 12,952 Times in 3,466 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
are those that cannot for medical reasons, I said my heart broke for those who cannot have children, and if your reading this then someone a woman gave you life. Quote: Originally Posted by Nat I think because people without children feel oppressed by those who have them? I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think. Yes I know that, but was referring to those who made the choice not to have a child. I feel for those who want and cannot have a child, my heart breaks for them. __________________I said the red area
__________________
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” Judy Garland |
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Spirit Dancer For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:51 PM | #58 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
sea shell Relationship Status:
married Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,687
Thanks: 1,927
Thanked 4,377 Times in 1,015 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
yeah i'm suspicious of hetero (christian families with 2 parents and a minivan/xtra large suv) that haven't done the work (why should they?/they don't have to!) especially the white men who haven't done the work, who think that there is such a thing as hetero-phobia and/or reversed-racism. who are born into their privilege and deny it every day of their lives. call me phobic, but that's kinda *fishy behavior* to me.
|
06-11-2010, 09:54 PM | #59 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Atascadero, CA
Posts: 4,933
Thanks: 2,309
Thanked 7,109 Times in 2,327 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
i think this is one way that the term separates us as a community.
pitting those w/children against those w/o children. women are fucking AMAZING by the very virtue of being women. not because they reproduce or not. |
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to SuperFemme For This Useful Post: |
06-11-2010, 09:57 PM | #60 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
*** Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: ***
Posts: 4,999
Thanks: 13,409
Thanked 18,368 Times in 4,171 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
i have strong feelings about this even though i have not had a child. i have been dissed on a couple of threads for suggesting that not every parent can have it all -- the career they want and being a good parent. It doesn't always work that way even if it should.
Anyway. Most places in the world, women do not have the choice to not have children. That's a given. That's wrong. BUT it's a separate issue. Once someone has a child, that is, in my opinion, something to be respected, valued, and supported. If i err, it's on the side of romanticizing the work of parenting and the connection between parent and child. i can not see any excuse for ever denigrating it. It needs to be more respected, more valued in our culture and around the world. Liberation for women is not gotten through undervaluing how most women spend their time. Most women, no matter how poor, sick, or oppressed, find ways to parent well and have rich and meaningful connections with their children. They invest their lives in their children. Whether they should have had to get pregnant or not, that investment deserves respect. Huge amounts of respect. i do not think girls should be taught not to want to parent, not to value parenting as a life goal. i think boys should be taught to be more invested in parenting, to think of it as something they should prepare for and imagine and dream of. People are always going to have babies, and it will be a decades or longer -- probably much longer -- before women on this planet always do so voluntarily. But devaluing their contributions is devaluing their lives. However else they might have chosen to live, being a mom is the life most are leading. And it's hugely valuable. To me, it's sacred. However a child came into this world, once she is here, the world must welcome her and honor those who guide her along her way. |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Martina For This Useful Post: |
|
|