What TO DO in a relationship..... - Page 30

Venus007 · 09-07-2015, 06:38 AM

Remember especially when fighting that you love this person and want to build something moving forward.

Having to be right, nuclear anger, winning at any cost, emotional bullying, these tools may work in the moment to win the argument but those same tools can be the identical ones that disassemble your ongoing love and trust.

Temper your speech.

Chad · 09-07-2015, 08:20 AM

Respect, my sweetheart is my love and my best friend. I respect her for all of her gifts. Always respect your partner.

Virago · 09-07-2015, 12:15 PM

LOVE this thread!

Bèsame* · 09-07-2015, 12:37 PM

Let him use the ice chest for bait..lol

Put sunscreen on each other♡

imperfect_cupcake · 09-07-2015, 12:41 PM

Understand that respect, affection, and romance are all relative. That means what you find respectful, or affectionate or romantic I might find invasive, irritating and suffocating. You can't treat people like math formulas or IKEA furniture. We aren't all brought up by the same parents, have the same life expereince or live in the same community - our understandings of many things are not a given.

What I may find playful and funny and affectionate some people will *love* and some people will find offensive. What those people who find what I do offensive, I may find their version to be smothering, overly serious and controlling.

Talk. Be open. You might have a mad crush on someone but unless you've spent a long time with them, you actually don't know what they think is romance, or what they consider respect, or what they love as affection.

No one is "right" about those kinds of things. There is just what suits you and your personality and values.

I hear all kinds of crazy shit about how what I want in a relationship is me "not wanting commitment" or some other bullocks. I do want commitment. In fact I want a minimum of 35 years of commitment. That's why I'm a hard arse with compatibility and understanding each other. I want someone who won't make me promises they actually don't know if they can keep or not for 35 years. And there is very little I know I can promise to always do for the next 35 years.

I now what I can promise. And that's talk about it and try.

MsTinkerbelly · 09-07-2015, 01:33 PM

Keep holding my hand through the good times and the bad...it's my constant reminder that "we got this".

Shystonefem · 09-07-2015, 03:36 PM

Do not love someone for what you can think you can change them into.

Everyone argues but realize that a fight is temporary and , if you love someone, love is lasting.

Don't say anything in anger that you don't mean. It is not acceptable at any time to degrade the person you love.

Loyalty, without question or fail

Honesty always

Respect is also paramount

Treat your partner like you treat your co-workers. Love your parent like that is the last person you will ever love.

Remember that life is, sometimes, hard. Don't take it out in the person that is always in your corner.

Love, laugh, dance, travel and be proud of who the both of you are.

JDeere · 09-07-2015, 05:49 PM

Dance with them in your living room no matter if you can dance or not.

Hugs give out plenty of hugs and hold hands as much as possible.

Gemme · 09-08-2015, 05:41 AM

You show up. Be present.

That's the first step.

imperfect_cupcake · 09-08-2015, 03:12 PM

Have boundries, rather than demands.

uglyboi · 09-26-2015, 06:48 PM

Remember to say thank you.
Indulge each other's passions
Play miniature golf.
Bake a cake together.
Do what she tells you to do.
Take wacky pictures together.
Empty the dishwasher before she does.
Pre-toothpaste her toothbrush.
Pray together.
Have a lip sync battle.
Know how she likes her bacon cooked and never cook it any other way.
Always kiss her head and smell her hair.
Never use the "S" word (Stupid).
Respect each others friends.
Ask before you throw it away.
Be responsible with money.
Snore.

kittygrrl · 09-27-2015, 11:59 PM

When you're tempted to say something mean, consider carefully the weight of your words, its better to be silent to hold your tongue, then to see a good thing gone. It may never come back

Soon · 09-28-2015, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uglyboi

Pre-toothpaste her toothbrush.

Awwwww! (never heard of this one...very sweet!)

kittygrrl · 10-02-2015, 09:00 PM

incisive, inquisitive, insightful, with an irreverent mind. enjoy a philosophical discussion as much as i do, and naturally charming, confident but most of all thoughtful..

Bèsame* · 10-03-2015, 03:10 AM

[COLOR="DeepSkyBluebe spontaneous. "][/COLOR]

Kätzchen · 10-03-2015, 12:53 PM

Be willing to let go when you give love .

Sounds complicated, easier said than done, but I recently practiced doing that very thing. I had a great year and a half with an amazing person in my life and although we love each other, we have to say good bye. He took a 2 year assignment overseas. We enjoyed our time together.

We care about each other's happiness, so we're letting go of each other by sending each other off with loving wishes for the very best for both of us.

Bèsame* · 10-04-2015, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bèsame*

[COLOR="DeepSkyBluebe spontaneous. "][/COLOR]

umm...this looks like a drunk post!

kittygrrl · 04-21-2016, 11:53 AM

When you love someone, it's no longer all about you. Your center of gravity expands and you create space for another person to thrive in your life while they do the same thing for you...

girl_dee · 04-21-2016, 09:52 PM

remember what brought you together..............

JDeere · 04-21-2016, 10:05 PM

Talk things out instead of yelling and screaming at each other.

Always overuse the words I Love You.

09-07-2015, 06:38 AM	#581
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,750 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Learn to Fight Fair Remember especially when fighting that you love this person and want to build something moving forward. Having to be right, nuclear anger, winning at any cost, emotional bullying, these tools may work in the moment to win the argument but those same tools can be the identical ones that disassemble your ongoing love and trust. Temper your speech. __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary Last edited by Venus007; 09-07-2015 at 06:40 AM. Reason: forgot title

09-07-2015, 08:20 AM	#582
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,315 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Relationship Respect, my sweetheart is my love and my best friend. I respect her for all of her gifts. Always respect your partner.

09-07-2015, 12:37 PM	#584
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,366 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,100 Thanked 40,929 Times in 10,721 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Let him use the ice chest for bait..lol Put sunscreen on each other♡ __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

09-07-2015, 03:36 PM	#587
Shystonefem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Shy for President Join Date: May 2014 Location: NH Posts: 1,105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,475 Thanked 3,674 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Do not love someone for what you can think you can change them into. Everyone argues but realize that a fight is temporary and , if you love someone, love is lasting. Don't say anything in anger that you don't mean. It is not acceptable at any time to degrade the person you love. Loyalty, without question or fail Honesty always Respect is also paramount Treat your partner like you treat your co-workers. Love your parent like that is the last person you will ever love. Remember that life is, sometimes, hard. Don't take it out in the person that is always in your corner. Love, laugh, dance, travel and be proud of who the both of you are. __________________ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu

09-07-2015, 05:49 PM	#588
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,836 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Dance with them in your living room no matter if you can dance or not. Hugs give out plenty of hugs and hold hands as much as possible. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

09-07-2015, 12:15 PM	#583
Virago Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 387 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 1,122 Times in 306 Posts Rep Power: 8364711	LOVE this thread!

09-07-2015, 12:41 PM	#585
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Understand that respect, affection, and romance are all relative. That means what you find respectful, or affectionate or romantic I might find invasive, irritating and suffocating. You can't treat people like math formulas or IKEA furniture. We aren't all brought up by the same parents, have the same life expereince or live in the same community - our understandings of many things are not a given. What I may find playful and funny and affectionate some people will love and some people will find offensive. What those people who find what I do offensive, I may find their version to be smothering, overly serious and controlling. Talk. Be open. You might have a mad crush on someone but unless you've spent a long time with them, you actually don't know what they think is romance, or what they consider respect, or what they love as affection. No one is "right" about those kinds of things. There is just what suits you and your personality and values. I hear all kinds of crazy shit about how what I want in a relationship is me "not wanting commitment" or some other bullocks. I do want commitment. In fact I want a minimum of 35 years of commitment. That's why I'm a hard arse with compatibility and understanding each other. I want someone who won't make me promises they actually don't know if they can keep or not for 35 years. And there is very little I know I can promise to always do for the next 35 years. I now what I can promise. And that's talk about it and try.

09-07-2015, 01:33 PM	#586
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,908 Times in 5,019 Posts Rep Power: 0	Keep holding my hand through the good times and the bad...it's my constant reminder that "we got this".

09-08-2015, 05:41 AM	#589
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,970 Times in 25,664 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	You show up. Be present. That's the first step. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

09-08-2015, 03:12 PM	#590
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Have boundries, rather than demands.

09-26-2015, 06:48 PM	#591
uglyboi Member How Do You Identify?: As the 'The Bourne Identity' Preferred Pronoun?: Cheerful pessimist Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2011 Location: In a house we bought Posts: 411 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 294 Thanked 1,208 Times in 327 Posts Rep Power: 18936851	Dear Dairy Remember to say thank you. Indulge each other's passions Play miniature golf. Bake a cake together. Do what she tells you to do. Take wacky pictures together. Empty the dishwasher before she does. Pre-toothpaste her toothbrush. Pray together. Have a lip sync battle. Know how she likes her bacon cooked and never cook it any other way. Always kiss her head and smell her hair. Never use the "S" word (Stupid). Respect each others friends. Ask before you throw it away. Be responsible with money. Snore.

09-27-2015, 11:59 PM	#592
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,354 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,565 Thanked 21,947 Times in 7,073 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	When you're tempted to say something mean, consider carefully the weight of your words, its better to be silent to hold your tongue, then to see a good thing gone. It may never come back __________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

10-02-2015, 09:00 PM	#594
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,354 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,565 Thanked 21,947 Times in 7,073 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	incisive, inquisitive, insightful, with an irreverent mind. enjoy a philosophical discussion as much as i do, and naturally charming, confident but most of all thoughtful.. __________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

10-03-2015, 03:10 AM	#595
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,366 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,100 Thanked 40,929 Times in 10,721 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	[COLOR="DeepSkyBluebe spontaneous. "][/COLOR] __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

10-03-2015, 12:53 PM	#596
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,044 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,506 Times in 10,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Be willing to let go when you give love . Sounds complicated, easier said than done, but I recently practiced doing that very thing. I had a great year and a half with an amazing person in my life and although we love each other, we have to say good bye. He took a 2 year assignment overseas. We enjoyed our time together. We care about each other's happiness, so we're letting go of each other by sending each other off with loving wishes for the very best for both of us. __________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

04-21-2016, 11:53 AM	#598
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,354 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,565 Thanked 21,947 Times in 7,073 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	zimzum..of love~ When you love someone, it's no longer all about you. Your center of gravity expands and you create space for another person to thrive in your life while they do the same thing for you...

04-21-2016, 09:52 PM	#599
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	remember what brought you together..............

04-21-2016, 10:05 PM	#600
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,836 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Talk things out instead of yelling and screaming at each other. Always overuse the words I Love You.