What Cracked You Up Today?

[girl_dee]

when i answer the phone and someone says

"Can you have Bren call me, i've got a turkey in the yard for 5 days now and i don't know how to get rid of it*

[jac]

When scheduled for a 2 hour meeting and it ends in 30 minutes because the crew of staff is goofin' around too damn much, there's really not a lot to report on, and the director himself comes in with supplies in hand to camp out at the shelter's cell phone provider because they screwed up the bill immensely... and with him trottin' around and working up staff to hysterics one senior staff asked if he had his nitro pills ready (which he did) and the director leans over the other lesbian staff's shoulder and says to her, "Will you please do me a favor and wear lipstick to my funneral?" *roaring laughter* She responds, "I'll even wear a dress." He looks up at me and without getting a chance to ask me anything I was shakin' my head no!! Hell nah I ain't wearin' a dress!!!

Here, have some sushi

[spritzerJ]

I jokingly say to The General today (6 years old) how is it having Rocky in class? (Boy from her kinder class and day care). Oh good she says. I ask is the wedding still on? (cause she informed me 3 weeks ago that mutual friends decided the 2 of them were getting married) She says... Well actually I was just telling Rocky yesterday that he needed to be thinking about decorations. I said for what? For the wedding mom, if he is going to marry me then he needs to think about decorations. Umm honey, I say, you aren't really marrying him. Well, she says, when I do get married there will BE decorations....

Of course honey!

[Vivacious1]

The look on my sister's face when she walked in on my niece writing on the counter with markers.

[Kenna]

a text from Blade...

"If I were a sticky trap where would I be?" ...

coming from a guy that's always asking where he laid his glasses down?

[Scuba]

I love these commercials!! If you live on the East Coast or have...you'll get these

[Scuba]

[Kenna]

so I received an email from a friend..one of those mass-forwarded ones that have a dozen people in the send-To box and the message asks you to send it to a dozen more..
I've always hated those and mostly delete them because I get so many that it overloads my inbox.

well, for some reason I open this one .. but found the list of recipients interesting ...some from State offices, some yahoo, etc ... but it was the ones that ended in "@leathermiracles.com" that caught my attention ... ;-)
it cracked me up to find it was nothing like I had imagined!!!
my imagination was running away with me...

I tell ya... working at home with little socialization lately is making me find entertainment in strange places.. like reading the recipient names instead of the actual email!

[Kenna]

I wasn't there, but heard about it afterwards ..

Blade and his mishap with the double layered shower curtain ... then the funny look on his face when he told me about it... never a dull moment around here

[Martina]

I don't know if it cracked me up, but it amused me. I am not from Oakland, but lived there for about a year and a half. My best CA friend lives there, and he's a stalwart supporter of the Alley, a piano bar featured here.

http://blog.sfgate.com/stew/2012/09/...-if/#7318101-1

[Miss Scarlett]

Getting a copy of AARP Magazine in the mail today of all days...lol

[Scuba]

Iran's news agency portrays satirical Onion story as its own

(CNN) -- Add Iran's news agency to the long list of those hoodwinked by the satire of The Onion. Iran's semi-official Fars News Agency published a story Friday claiming that a Gallup poll found that rural white Americans prefer Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over President Barack Obama.

Such a poll would indeed be big news in Iran (and the United States) -- if it were true. But the source was The Onion, the publication that presents the outlandish as real news.

Its serious tone fools many who are new to the lampoons. Onion yarns have tricked news outlets in the U.S. and overseas. Ahmadinejad: I'm quite popular. What sets Fars apart from others, however, is that the agency published the Onion story as if it were its own.Fars News Agency used the story verbatim, giving the same headline: "Gallup Poll: Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad To Obama" Fars also took all the credit at the get-go:

"TEHRAN (FNA) -- According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama."

(The Onion story used a Charleston, West Virginia, dateline.)
The article went on to quote a West Virginia resident as saying he would rather grab a ballgame or a drink with the Iranian leader than with Obama.
The phony resident then lauded Ahmadinejad: "He takes national defense seriously, and he'd never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does."

If that weren't enough, Fars continued, "According to the same Gallup poll, 60 percent of rural whites said they at least respected that Ahmadinejad doesn't try to hide the fact that he's Muslim."

A Fars news editor said Friday that the outlet took the item off its English-language website once editors realized that The Onion wasn't a legitimate news organization.

Without breaking from its farce, Onion Editor Will Tracy wrote in an e-mail that Fars is a subsidiary and has been "our Middle Eastern bureau since the mid 1980s, when the Onion's publisher, T. Herman Zweibel, founded Fars with the government approval of the late Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khomeini.

"The Onion freely shares content with Fars and commends the journalists at Iran's Finest News Source on their superb reportage," Tracy wrote in his statement.

There's no word on whether either president is laughing.

[Kenna]

a little brother said in his little voice to his really big sister...
"look, you need this, it's sparkly and it's a zebra!"

[ruffryder]

farting and my babe running away for awhile...

whewwweeee.. LOL!

[Scuba]

[-Red-Flag-]

So my mother comes into my office today and says.

'Would you like me to do a commercial for you?'

my face

'What for mom?'

She said 'well I've been seeing all those commercials lately, the marriage equality. I'd go on tv so you can get married'

my face again

She keeps going 'I would you know. Doesn't matter to Joe ( step dad) and I ...
We could do it'

- blink blink is my next face-

Her final statement .. 'Its ok that you got the gay and you want to marry... No one should give a shit but your family'


My reply 'and there we have it folks ... Maine's yes on 1... It's ok to have the gay and get married because your family is the one that should give a shit!'

Welcome to my world folks.


And for the record ... My mom means no disrespect when she says you got the gay... She learned that expression from me

[jac]

Stting at the staff desks talking with my workmate...

me: seems like the pool table has moved some
he: nope, looks the same from where i'm sitting
me: no, look... see the extra space over there (points to more space damnit)
he: nah, but rack 'em, you'll see things differently once we get over there and play

me: (15 minutes or so into the game) doesn't the cue ball look bigger than the others?
he: ummm noooo
me: omg i swear the damn thing is bigger
he: just like the table moved?
me: yes!!
he: not sure what your reaction to gluten really is but it looks like it's having an affect on your visual perception

LOL nothing like a carefree day... for the most part!

[girl_dee]

me and the boi buying candy at the dollar store and sneaking it into the movies.

[jac]

What cracked me up....

So I get on FB and see this picture of a friend of mine digging a hole in her Halloween Graveyard scene in the dark... assuming it was taken last night.

A drag queen friend of the gang puts this "burying all the ex's lol, or dead sex toys lol OMFG can u imagine if they came back from the dead? ATTACK OF THE ZOMBIE USED SEX TOYS" lmfao OMG i am gonna have nightmares now, THANKS lol"

Tinkerbell who, because it's early enough in the day, was unpissed and unstoned. She helped. We laughed.