Corny jokes - Page 34

Bèsame* · 06-02-2017, 05:35 PM

Why do watermelons have big fancy weddings???

They cantaloupe.

A. Spectre · 06-02-2017, 08:22 PM

[B]For you.....

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender says, "Dry?" The Germans says "Nein, just one."

Kätzchen · 06-02-2017, 08:29 PM

Bèsame* · 06-02-2017, 08:30 PM

How do you fix a broken tomato?

Tomato paste.

A. Spectre · 06-09-2017, 05:10 AM

Bèsame* · 06-09-2017, 07:07 AM

What do you get
when you cross a pair of pants
with a dictionary?

Smarty pants.

Kätzchen · 06-09-2017, 09:17 PM

Kätzchen · 06-09-2017, 09:20 PM

Kätzchen · 06-09-2017, 09:52 PM

Q: What bow can't be tied?

A; A rainbow.

Wrang1er · 06-22-2017, 08:54 PM

Q: Why is pirating so addictive?

A: Once you lose your first hand you get hooked!

homoe · 06-22-2017, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

I had a greeting card once just like this!

homoe · 06-22-2017, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orema

A new study has found that women who carry extra weight live longer than than the men who mention it.

LMAO.......................

Wrang1er · 06-23-2017, 08:30 AM

Q: Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?

A: Because they'll wash up on shore later.

Gentle Tiger · 06-23-2017, 10:07 AM

This thread makes me

Mrs Tiger on the other hand doesn't have the same appreciation when I read them to her. Her reaction makes them even funnier.

homoe · 06-23-2017, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gentle Tiger

This thread makes me

Mrs Tiger on the other hand doesn't have the same appreciation when I read them to her. Her reaction makes them even funnier.

Mrs Tiger surely had to laugh at....
"A new study has found that women who carry extra weight live longer than than the men who mention it" didn't she..

Happy_Go_Lucky · 07-09-2017, 04:40 PM

gotoseagrl · 07-12-2017, 04:13 PM

Q:What do you call a mermaid on a roof?
A: Aerial

Q: What do you call a magic owl?
A: Hoodini!

Kätzchen · 07-18-2017, 03:47 PM

Q: what did the two dictator's say to each other during their latest phone battle?

A: you're my favorite "Dick-ta-phone."

Kätzchen · 07-31-2017, 09:50 AM

Kätzchen · 08-08-2017, 09:04 AM

Q: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???

A: It got stuck in a crack.

06-02-2017, 05:35 PM	#661
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,112 Thanked 40,943 Times in 10,729 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Why do watermelons have big fancy weddings??? They cantaloupe. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

06-02-2017, 08:22 PM	#662
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,067 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	[B]For you..... A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender says, "Dry?" The Germans says "Nein, just one." __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

06-02-2017, 08:29 PM	#663
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	You've got mail :) __________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

06-02-2017, 08:30 PM	#664
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,112 Thanked 40,943 Times in 10,729 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

06-09-2017, 05:10 AM	#665
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,067 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	__________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

06-09-2017, 07:07 AM	#666
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,112 Thanked 40,943 Times in 10,729 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	What do you get when you cross a pair of pants with a dictionary? Smarty pants. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

06-09-2017, 09:17 PM	#667
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	__________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

06-09-2017, 09:20 PM	#668
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	__________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

06-09-2017, 09:52 PM	#669
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Q: What bow can't be tied? A; A rainbow. __________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

06-22-2017, 08:54 PM	#670
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Q: Why is pirating so addictive? A: Once you lose your first hand you get hooked!

06-23-2017, 08:30 AM	#673
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Q: Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank? A: Because they'll wash up on shore later.

06-23-2017, 10:07 AM	#674
Gentle Tiger Moderator How Do You Identify?: As a Tiger of course Preferred Pronoun?: Not the Old Man Relationship Status: Two Tigers Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Northern California Posts: 7,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,001 Thanked 15,991 Times in 3,993 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	This thread makes me Mrs Tiger on the other hand doesn't have the same appreciation when I read them to her. Her reaction makes them even funnier. __________________ Please like

07-09-2017, 04:40 PM	#676
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

07-12-2017, 04:13 PM	#677
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Q:What do you call a mermaid on a roof? A: Aerial Q: What do you call a magic owl? A: Hoodini! __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

07-18-2017, 03:47 PM	#678
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	an Ode to tête-a-tête's between two dictators.... Q: what did the two dictator's say to each other during their latest phone battle? A: you're my favorite "Dick-ta-phone." __________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

07-31-2017, 09:50 AM	#679
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	__________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

08-08-2017, 09:04 AM	#680
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Q: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road??? A: It got stuck in a crack. __________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.