What TO DO in a relationship..... - Page 4

Bard · 04-13-2011, 10:55 PM

Sometimes you just say it loud for all to hear
so I will hijack this for a moment cause I know desd will thread stalk me

SHANNON I LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS

bright_arrow · 04-13-2011, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard

Sometimes you just say it loud for all to hear
so I will hijack this for a moment cause I know desd will thread stalk me

SHANNON I LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS

I love you too baby, always and forever xoxox

Gemme · 04-13-2011, 11:23 PM

Work for it.

Not that a relationship should be something that you toll at, nor is it something that you clock in and out for, but it's not something you can opt to show up for either.

You're in it 24/7 or not at all. Be present.

Take into consideration the consequences of your actions (or lack thereof) on your partner and adjust your behavior accordingly.

Breaking it down biblically, do unto others. Treat him or her as you would like to be treated.

Show respect. Earn respect. It's a mutually beneficial cycle.

LISTEN and HEAR what is being said, whether it's about an opinion on where to hang a picture or whether it's about future goals for the relationship.

Clean up after yourself. Chances are, you don't live with your mom still. Don't make your partner your parent.

Give yourself and your partner some leeway. Neither of you are perfect. Allow for idiocyncrasies and mistakes and adjust your behavior accordingly.

Never say no to requests for sweets and/or junk food.

Diva · 04-13-2011, 11:36 PM

Great thread, Sassy!

~Give Your partner respect.
~Give Your partner space.
~Give Your partner the best of Yourself.
~Give Your partner time.
~Give Your partner the benefit of the doubt.
~Give Your partner the last piece of pie.
~Give Your parnter consideration.
~Give Your partner safety.
~Give Your partner Your friendship.
~Give Your partner spontaneity.
~Give Your partner emotional support without being suffocating.
~Give Your partner advice in a loving way.
~Give Your parnter unconditional love.
~Give Your partner Your ferocity.
~Give Your partner Your open mind.
~Give Your partner Your heart of hearts.
~Give Your parnter forgiveness....whether they ask for it or not.
~Give Your partner laughter.
~Give Your partner peace.
~Give Your partner Your energy.
~Give Your partner Your word.
~Give Your partner honesty and Your truth.
~Give Your partner heart protection.
~Give Your partner Yourself.

Greyson · 04-14-2011, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva

Great thread, Sassy!

~Give Your partner the last piece of pie.

Hey now, that's what I am talking about!

Bard · 04-13-2011, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June

Forever is such a very long time. I like 5 year plans. I am currently on year two of the third 5 year plan.

I have commitment issues.

Oh yeah tell me about commitment issues I can't even spell it with out breaking out in hives

Soft*Silver · 04-13-2011, 11:37 PM

oh yes you can so...you committed to your horse..so quit bellering..if you can commit to a horse, you can commit to a girl.

you are too cute, cowboi

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard

Oh yeah tell me about commitment issues I can't even spell it with out breaking out in hives

bright_arrow · 04-13-2011, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard

Oh yeah tell me about commitment issues I can't even spell it with out breaking out in hives

Lord help you if you leave me at the altar due to a hive break out

alilhoneybee · 04-14-2011, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAGG

Make promises you keep.
Make yourself easy to love.
Make the one you love feel safe and secure.
No matter what, make the one you love know she is a priority.
Talk about everything, and be brutally honest, even if it's difficult.
Treat her like a queen, and love her in all ways , always.
Build a bond together that noone or no thing can come between .
Apologize for your mistakes, make amends and do better next time. Then make amends again.
Take responsibility for your actions .
Validate her feelings by listening, stop what your doing, even when you're busy and pressed for time.
Always make time for her needs , even if your tired ,injured or bored.
Just a few things I always try to do when I love someone. It doesn't guaranty she won't still choose to walk away, but I don't think it hurts anything.

The only things I would add would be support the dreams and goals the one you love has. Honor the accomplishments and mourn the losses with them.

Venus007 · 04-14-2011, 05:43 AM

Embrace and encourage individual interests and adventures for both yourself and your partner. You are not conjoined twins, by maintaining your difference you increase limerence and it helps keep conversation interesting.

Get away every once in awhile and have an adventure (esp in long term relationships). You need to get out in the world and see each other interacting with said world, this helps remind you why you love the person in the first place.

Have sex in new ways and new places, resist the rut that leads to boredom that steals your heat. Have sex in a new room in the house, try a new position, shake it up. You don't have to get all crazy (unless you want to) but try new things.

Do physical things together, wrestle, dance, walk, by connecting physically (other than sexually) it helps build new neural paths and strengthens your bond.

When talking about emotional issues try to stay open and in the present moment. Really listen to what your partner is saying, even if it is hard for you to hear, even if you want to jump in and defend yourself, even if you think they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Just listen and support them, your time to talk will come and you will find the situation less combative if they feel genuinely heard and accepted. Both parties should practice this and believe me you will get better at it over time (it takes practice). Try reflecting back what you are hearing, e.g. "I hear you are frustrated because you feel like when I don't empty the dishwasher I am taking you for granted."

Agree to fight fair, have ground rules and stick to them, better yet write them down so it can remain an objective touch stone.

When you fuck up, genuinely apologize and make it right as much as you can.

Remember no one is perfect and it is difficult to make changes. Remove the sawdust in your eye before you gun for the log in someone else's.

Maintain yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit or soul, your credit score. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a little mystery and there is everything to gain by loving yourself and engaging in good strong self care.

Fancy · 04-18-2011, 10:33 PM

Read this thread.

Especially this post. Well said!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Venus007

Embrace and encourage individual interests and adventures for both yourself and your partner. You are not conjoined twins, by maintaining your difference you increase limerence and it helps keep conversation interesting.

Get away every once in awhile and have an adventure (esp in long term relationships). You need to get out in the world and see each other interacting with said world, this helps remind you why you love the person in the first place.

Have sex in new ways and new places, resist the rut that leads to boredom that steals your heat. Have sex in a new room in the house, try a new position, shake it up. You don't have to get all crazy (unless you want to) but try new things.

Do physical things together, wrestle, dance, walk, by connecting physically (other than sexually) it helps build new neural paths and strengthens your bond.

When talking about emotional issues try to stay open and in the present moment. Really listen to what your partner is saying, even if it is hard for you to hear, even if you want to jump in and defend yourself, even if you think they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Just listen and support them, your time to talk will come and you will find the situation less combative if they feel genuinely heard and accepted. Both parties should practice this and believe me you will get better at it over time (it takes practice). Try reflecting back what you are hearing, e.g. "I hear you are frustrated because you feel like when I don't empty the dishwasher I am taking you for granted."

Agree to fight fair, have ground rules and stick to them, better yet write them down so it can remain an objective touch stone.

When you fuck up, genuinely apologize and make it right as much as you can.

Remember no one is perfect and it is difficult to make changes. Remove the sawdust in your eye before you gun for the log in someone else's.

Maintain yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit or soul, your credit score. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a little mystery and there is everything to gain by loving yourself and engaging in good strong self care.

softheart · 02-03-2012, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JAGG

Make promises you keep.
Make yourself easy to love.
Make the one you love feel safe and secure.
No matter what, make the one you love know she is a priority.
Talk about everything, and be brutally honest, even if it's difficult.
Treat her like a queen, and love her in all ways , always.
Build a bond together that noone or no thing can come between .
Apologize for your mistakes, make amends and do better next time. Then make amends again.
Take responsibility for your actions .
Validate her feelings by listening, stop what your doing, even when you're busy and pressed for time.
Always make time for her needs , even if your tired ,injured or bored.
Just a few things I always try to do when I love someone. It doesn't guaranty she won't still choose to walk away, but I don't think it hurts anything.

I love this!

TimilDeeps · 02-03-2012, 09:12 PM

Be real . . . .

WingsOnFire · 02-04-2012, 05:10 PM

Take time to "be in the moment". Life is too short as I have recently found out the hard way.

girl_dee · 02-06-2012, 01:49 PM

talk, like to each other

Blade · 02-06-2012, 03:11 PM

SHHHHHhhhhhh LISTEN.........this requires your mouth to be closed

AtLast · 02-06-2012, 03:33 PM

Be present................

Martina · 02-03-2012, 11:33 PM

Keep your car in good repair so you can go visit Her when She wants to see you.

NorCalStud · 02-04-2012, 12:11 AM

Be patient

MzzBehaving · 09-06-2011, 08:32 PM

Respect is a very important element.
Communication without it you have nothing.
Learn to listen to your partner, what you think may not be important is to them.
Compromise if you cannot do this then you are selfish.
Never think you are always right, learn how to say you are sorry when you are wrong.
Never, never make plans to do the uhaul thing so fast, will lead to the end.
Know just because you talk to someone everynight does not mean you know them, people can be who they want on the phone and in the first few meetings.

04-13-2011, 10:55 PM	#1
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Sometimes you just say it loud for all to hear so I will hijack this for a moment cause I know desd will thread stalk me SHANNON I LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

04-13-2011, 11:23 PM	#3
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,924 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	Work for it. Not that a relationship should be something that you toll at, nor is it something that you clock in and out for, but it's not something you can opt to show up for either. You're in it 24/7 or not at all. Be present. Take into consideration the consequences of your actions (or lack thereof) on your partner and adjust your behavior accordingly. Breaking it down biblically, do unto others. Treat him or her as you would like to be treated. Show respect. Earn respect. It's a mutually beneficial cycle. LISTEN and HEAR what is being said, whether it's about an opinion on where to hang a picture or whether it's about future goals for the relationship. Clean up after yourself. Chances are, you don't live with your mom still. Don't make your partner your parent. Give yourself and your partner some leeway. Neither of you are perfect. Allow for idiocyncrasies and mistakes and adjust your behavior accordingly. Never say no to requests for sweets and/or junk food. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated. Last edited by Gemme; 04-13-2011 at 11:25 PM.

04-14-2011, 05:43 AM	#10
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,746 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Stuff that has worked for me Embrace and encourage individual interests and adventures for both yourself and your partner. You are not conjoined twins, by maintaining your difference you increase limerence and it helps keep conversation interesting. Get away every once in awhile and have an adventure (esp in long term relationships). You need to get out in the world and see each other interacting with said world, this helps remind you why you love the person in the first place. Have sex in new ways and new places, resist the rut that leads to boredom that steals your heat. Have sex in a new room in the house, try a new position, shake it up. You don't have to get all crazy (unless you want to) but try new things. Do physical things together, wrestle, dance, walk, by connecting physically (other than sexually) it helps build new neural paths and strengthens your bond. When talking about emotional issues try to stay open and in the present moment. Really listen to what your partner is saying, even if it is hard for you to hear, even if you want to jump in and defend yourself, even if you think they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Just listen and support them, your time to talk will come and you will find the situation less combative if they feel genuinely heard and accepted. Both parties should practice this and believe me you will get better at it over time (it takes practice). Try reflecting back what you are hearing, e.g. "I hear you are frustrated because you feel like when I don't empty the dishwasher I am taking you for granted." Agree to fight fair, have ground rules and stick to them, better yet write them down so it can remain an objective touch stone. When you fuck up, genuinely apologize and make it right as much as you can. Remember no one is perfect and it is difficult to make changes. Remove the sawdust in your eye before you gun for the log in someone else's. Maintain yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit or soul, your credit score. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a little mystery and there is everything to gain by loving yourself and engaging in good strong self care. __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary Last edited by Venus007; 04-14-2011 at 05:46 AM. Reason: forgot a pearl o' wisdom, lol

02-04-2012, 05:10 PM	#14
WingsOnFire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer..femme.. .babygirl...girl Preferred Pronoun?: Female Ones... Relationship Status: Enjoying life but ready to meet someone Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portland Oregon Posts: 3,945 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,015 Thanked 12,476 Times in 3,357 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Take time to "be in the moment". Life is too short as I have recently found out the hard way. __________________ Previously known as MidnightBlueEyes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://gailsforum.files.wordpress.co...-psd340941.png

02-06-2012, 03:11 PM	#16
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	SHHHHHhhhhhh LISTEN.........this requires your mouth to be closed __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

04-13-2011, 11:36 PM	#4
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,175 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	Great thread, Sassy! ~Give Your partner respect. ~Give Your partner space. ~Give Your partner the best of Yourself. ~Give Your partner time. ~Give Your partner the benefit of the doubt. ~Give Your partner the last piece of pie. ~Give Your parnter consideration. ~Give Your partner safety. ~Give Your partner Your friendship. ~Give Your partner spontaneity. ~Give Your partner emotional support without being suffocating. ~Give Your partner advice in a loving way. ~Give Your parnter unconditional love. ~Give Your partner Your ferocity. ~Give Your partner Your open mind. ~Give Your partner Your heart of hearts. ~Give Your parnter forgiveness....whether they ask for it or not. ~Give Your partner laughter. ~Give Your partner peace. ~Give Your partner Your energy. ~Give Your partner Your word. ~Give Your partner honesty and Your truth. ~Give Your partner heart protection. ~Give Your partner Yourself.

02-03-2012, 09:12 PM	#13
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	Be real . . . .

02-06-2012, 01:49 PM	#15
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	talk, like to each other

02-06-2012, 03:33 PM	#17
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Be present................

02-03-2012, 11:33 PM	#18
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,283 Times in 4,166 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Keep your car in good repair so you can go visit Her when She wants to see you.

02-04-2012, 12:11 AM	#19
NorCalStud Member How Do You Identify?: gaea's Daddy and Fiance Preferred Pronoun?: Ours Relationship Status: Engaged with gaea:-) Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Island Mountain Posts: 440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 1,465 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 18918589	Be patient __________________ "Love the questions" ...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet Che

09-06-2011, 08:32 PM	#20
MzzBehaving Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Stone by nature Preferred Pronoun?: She, her, Babygirl or princess will do. Relationship Status: Looking for that Mr Right, does he exsist??? Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Somewhere between here and there Posts: 26 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 40 Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts Rep Power: 1068718	Respect is a very important element. Communication without it you have nothing. Learn to listen to your partner, what you think may not be important is to them. Compromise if you cannot do this then you are selfish. Never think you are always right, learn how to say you are sorry when you are wrong. Never, never make plans to do the uhaul thing so fast, will lead to the end. Know just because you talk to someone everynight does not mean you know them, people can be who they want on the phone and in the first few meetings.