Corny jokes - Page 43

ksrainbow · 08-08-2019, 04:45 PM

What kind of vegetable is sold at the zoo?
Zoo-chini.

What kind of socks do you need to plant Zucchini?
Garden hose

Where did the Zucchini go to have a few drinks?
The Salad Bar

Ks-

Esme nha Maire · 08-31-2019, 04:31 AM

Which gas is the funniest?

Helium HeHeHeHe!

Which element is the best singer?

Lanthanum LaLaLaLaLaLaLa!

Which is the craziest element?

Gallium - it's completely GaGa!

Esme nha Maire · 08-31-2019, 03:27 PM

What's the best sadism joke?

I'm not going to tell you!

Mopsie · 09-01-2019, 06:13 AM

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

A: Nacho cheese!

Q: What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

A: All that was left was de brie.

Q: What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar?

A: Lookin' Sharp.

Silk · 09-01-2019, 09:43 PM

What do you call an enchantress who lives on the beach?
A sand witch

What do you call a gathering unattached witches?
Craft singles

ksrainbow · 09-27-2019, 07:18 PM

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Q: What stays in the corner but can travel all over the world? A: A stamp.

Q: What is the tallest building in the world? A: The library! It has the most stories!

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

TGIF!

Ks-

Kätzchen · 10-04-2019, 08:22 PM

ksrainbow · 10-25-2019, 10:17 PM

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless!

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me tonight.

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!

TGIF!

ks-

Silk · 11-27-2019, 11:35 AM

Two people walk into a bar and the third one ducks.

Kätzchen · 12-25-2019, 12:40 PM

Kätzchen · 12-25-2019, 12:41 PM

Kätzchen · 12-25-2019, 12:57 PM

Orema · 01-15-2020, 06:10 AM

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

A. Spectre · 01-20-2020, 09:25 AM

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

Why can't your ear be 12 inches long?

Because then, it would be a foot.

What's a restaurant on the moon like?

It has no atmosphere.

Why don't you buy things with velcro?

It's a rip-off.

Kätzchen · 01-20-2020, 11:56 PM

Nurse to doctor: "Doctor, there's an invisible patient in the waiting room!"

Doctor to nurse: "Tell them I can't see them right now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do kids put sugar under their pillow at night?

So they can have sweet dreams.

JustLovelyJenn · 01-21-2020, 12:58 PM

What did the ocean say to the shore??

NOTHING... it just waved.

Stone-Butch · 01-21-2020, 09:01 PM

What did the owl say when he forgot his music lessons?
I don't give a hoot.

Where do chickens go for a beach vacation?
Sandy Eggo

What does a ghost eat for breakfast?
Scream of Wheat

Why were the baby blueberries crying?
Their mother was in a jam.

ksrainbow · 01-26-2020, 06:54 PM

As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign...

"Danger! Beware of Dog!”

Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.
Is that the dog we’re supposed to beware of? he asks the owner.
That’s him, comes the reply.
He doesn’t look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?
Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.

Kätzchen · 02-02-2020, 12:08 PM

Kätzchen · 02-02-2020, 12:13 PM

08-08-2019, 04:45 PM	#841
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,758 Thanked 2,200 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Its is zoo/zuc out there- What kind of vegetable is sold at the zoo? Zoo-chini. What kind of socks do you need to plant Zucchini? Garden hose Where did the Zucchini go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar Ks-

08-31-2019, 04:31 AM	#842
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,079 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310769	Which gas is the funniest? Helium HeHeHeHe! Which element is the best singer? Lanthanum LaLaLaLaLaLaLa! Which is the craziest element? Gallium - it's completely GaGa! __________________

08-31-2019, 03:27 PM	#843
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,079 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310769	What's the best sadism joke? I'm not going to tell you! __________________

09-01-2019, 09:43 PM	#845
Silk Junior Member How Do You Identify?: An American Bohemian Femme Relationship Status: Galahad bleeds black and orange and I'm proud to ride pillion. Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Surrounded by love. Posts: 36 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 23 Thanked 113 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1073753	Golden corn cob nominees What do you call an enchantress who lives on the beach? A sand witch What do you call a gathering unattached witches? Craft singles __________________ Blessings and Balance. Namaste

09-27-2019, 07:18 PM	#846
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,758 Thanked 2,200 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Friday Funny's... Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Q: What stays in the corner but can travel all over the world? A: A stamp. Q: What is the tallest building in the world? A: The library! It has the most stories! Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine! TGIF! Ks-

09-01-2019, 06:13 AM	#844
Mopsie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Shenandoah Valley Virginia Posts: 4,769 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 36,246 Thanked 8,554 Times in 1,856 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho cheese! Q: What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? A: All that was left was de brie. Q: What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? A: Lookin' Sharp.

10-04-2019, 08:22 PM	#847
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	__________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou —

10-25-2019, 10:17 PM	#848
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,758 Thanked 2,200 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Funny Friday! What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless! What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner’s on me tonight. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck! TGIF! ks-

11-27-2019, 11:35 AM	#849
Silk Junior Member How Do You Identify?: An American Bohemian Femme Relationship Status: Galahad bleeds black and orange and I'm proud to ride pillion. Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Surrounded by love. Posts: 36 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 23 Thanked 113 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 1073753	Two people walk into a bar and the third one ducks. __________________ Blessings and Balance. Namaste

12-25-2019, 12:40 PM	#850
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	__________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou —

12-25-2019, 12:41 PM	#851
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	__________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou — Last edited by Kätzchen; 12-25-2019 at 01:05 PM. Reason: This is SO like my cat LOL

12-25-2019, 12:57 PM	#852
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	__________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou —

01-15-2020, 06:10 AM	#853
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,486 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,419 Thanked 34,755 Times in 8,930 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!

01-20-2020, 09:25 AM	#854
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,054 Times in 1,494 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	What's brown and sticky? A stick Why can't your ear be 12 inches long? Because then, it would be a foot. What's a restaurant on the moon like? It has no atmosphere. Why don't you buy things with velcro? It's a rip-off. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

01-20-2020, 11:56 PM	#855
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	Nurse to doctor: "Doctor, there's an invisible patient in the waiting room!" Doctor to nurse: "Tell them I can't see them right now." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why do kids put sugar under their pillow at night? So they can have sweet dreams. __________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou —

01-21-2020, 12:58 PM	#856
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,994 Times in 3,685 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	What did the ocean say to the shore?? NOTHING... it just waved. __________________ --Jenn

01-21-2020, 09:01 PM	#857
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,614 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,206 Thanked 9,273 Times in 2,995 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Jokes What did the owl say when he forgot his music lessons? I don't give a hoot. Where do chickens go for a beach vacation? Sandy Eggo What does a ghost eat for breakfast? Scream of Wheat Why were the baby blueberries crying? Their mother was in a jam.

01-26-2020, 06:54 PM	#858
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,758 Thanked 2,200 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Beware ... As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign... "Danger! Beware of Dog!” Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor. Is that the dog we’re supposed to beware of? he asks the owner. That’s him, comes the reply. He doesn’t look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign? Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.

02-02-2020, 12:08 PM	#859
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	__________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou —

02-02-2020, 12:13 PM	#860
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I’m devoted to my own wellness (lucky me) ツ Join Date: May 2010 Location: Blue Lady in a ruby red county Posts: 15,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,607 Thanked 33,400 Times in 10,558 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	__________________ I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings — Maya Angelou —