Single FTM's & Femme's

[Bèsame*]

Happy....
One day left before a 4 day weekend! It's going to be a sad day tomorrow...a funeral in the morning.
I hope every gets on the mend soon, the yuckies going around has been lingering way too long. Here's to a happy hump day

[MickMan]

Hi everyone,

Been a while since I have been on and thought I would drop in to see how everyone is.

Life is good. Busy with school. This term marks the beginning of my dissertation and it is CRAZY!! But, exciting nonetheless.

Still single. Although, I have been talking with a woman here locally, however, nothing can come of it as she is unaware of my trans-status. She is from Thailand and absolutely wonderful. But, I am trying to find a way to explain to her I cannot get involved without outing myself and without ruining the friendship we have built. It all started out very innocent with me taking my mother to the restaurant that her brother owns. She was our waitress and she began talking with me and next thing you know, she is teaching me Thai and I am teaching her English. It finally occurred to me the other day when she introduced me to her brother, that she may have intentions beyond what I am able to take part in. She is wonderful, kind, caring and just so funny. And if she knew of my being trans, I would not be having this issue. I am not so sure I want to risk the friendship by outing myself. Not to mention my mother loves her and loves going to the restaurant. I need to either out myself and be prepared to never go there again or find a way to stop the progression before this woman becomes too attached. This really sucks!

Would love to hear from other as to solutions. This all happened so quickly that I did not have time to think about what was happening and perhaps I am guilty of flirting and leading her on a bit. I really try not to do that with those unaware. But, a good friend of mine told me that because of my good nature and kindness, I have a tendency to send out unintentional messages. Her words, not mine. Perhaps that is what has happened here.

Thought?

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by Uniqueswtfemm

Happy....
One day left before a 4 day weekend! It's going to be a sad day tomorrow...a funeral in the morning.
I hope every gets on the mend soon, the yuckies going around has been lingering way too long. Here's to a happy hump day

I love HUMP Day!!!!!!

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by MickMan

Hi everyone,

Been a while since I have been on and thought I would drop in to see how everyone is.

Life is good. Busy with school. This term marks the beginning of my dissertation and it is CRAZY!! But, exciting nonetheless.

Still single. Although, I have been talking with a woman here locally, however, nothing can come of it as she is unaware of my trans-status. She is from Thailand and absolutely wonderful. But, I am trying to find a way to explain to her I cannot get involved without outing myself and without ruining the friendship we have built. It all started out very innocent with me taking my mother to the restaurant that her brother owns. She was our waitress and she began talking with me and next thing you know, she is teaching me Thai and I am teaching her English. It finally occurred to me the other day when she introduced me to her brother, that she may have intentions beyond what I am able to take part in. She is wonderful, kind, caring and just so funny. And if she knew of my being trans, I would not be having this issue. I am not so sure I want to risk the friendship by outing myself. Not to mention my mother loves her and loves going to the restaurant. I need to either out myself and be prepared to never go there again or find a way to stop the progression before this woman becomes too attached. This really sucks!

Would love to hear from other as to solutions. This all happened so quickly that I did not have time to think about what was happening and perhaps I am guilty of flirting and leading her on a bit. I really try not to do that with those unaware. But, a good friend of mine told me that because of my good nature and kindness, I have a tendency to send out unintentional messages. Her words, not mine. Perhaps that is what has happened here.

Thought?

Mick this is complicated. I think you need to first figure out with what you are comfortable with before you make a decision to come out. I think the biggest question is are you interested in this lady? Because if you are then you aren't leading her on. Once you have determined what your thoughts are on that you need to find out if she has the same feelings towards you as well. If she has the same feelings about you and you do towards her, that's when you need to talk to her personally, and dude trust me if she really really likes you the trans part isn't going to matter one bit. I think that you need to educate her a little too when you do come out, because you do want to be able to eat at this restaurant again and not feel ostracized. Just my 2 cents.

[MickMan]

Originally Posted by curlyredhead

Mick this is complicated. I think you need to first figure out with what you are comfortable with before you make a decision to come out. I think the biggest question is are you interested in this lady? Because if you are then you aren't leading her on. Once you have determined what your thoughts are on that you need to find out if she has the same feelings towards you as well. If she has the same feelings about you and you do towards her, that's when you need to talk to her personally, and dude trust me if she really really likes you the trans part isn't going to matter one bit. I think that you need to educate her a little too when you do come out, because you do want to be able to eat at this restaurant again and not feel ostracized. Just my 2 cents.

Hey Curly and thanks,

Yeah, I really do like this woman. She will text me, in broken English, and I find it so touching that she will make the effort to communicate with me in this manner. I find myself thinking about her and smiling.

It is very touchy and I am usually so careful about how I interact with people, women in particular, for this reason. But, this happened so quickly and out of the blue. It was something before I realized it. Now, I should also say that we have not gone out, or had any physical contact other than a hug here and there inside the restaurant where her brother was present.

I know she is very interested in me as her nephew told me that she has never introduced a man to her brother before. Again, she is from Thailand and has only been here for a short time. Even though she is older, like me, I am getting that the brother still is in charge of her well being.

I have done research about Kathoey in Thailand, and they are well received, for the most part. But there is nothing about the Kathoey counterpart, FTMs. I am really nervous about talking to her also because her English and my Thai are not that fluent. I am not sure I can convey everything I need to or want to. We often have the nephew translate for us or the sister in-law. But this is not something I would feel comfortable having a third person translate.

And yes, I agree. I do not want to be ostracized at this place. My mother, for whom I care and I both love this place. I would hate to not only lose this woman, the friendship and the restaurant all in one conversation.

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by MickMan

Hey Curly and thanks,

Yeah, I really do like this woman. She will text me, in broken English, and I find it so touching that she will make the effort to communicate with me in this manner. I find myself thinking about her and smiling.

It is very touchy and I am usually so careful about how I interact with people, women in particular, for this reason. But, this happened so quickly and out of the blue. It was something before I realized it. Now, I should also say that we have not gone out, or had any physical contact other than a hug here and there inside the restaurant where her brother was present.

I know she is very interested in me as her nephew told me that she has never introduced a man to her brother before. Again, she is from Thailand and has only been here for a short time. Even though she is older, like me, I am getting that the brother still is in charge of her well being.

I have done research about Kathoey in Thailand, and they are well received, for the most part. But there is nothing about the Kathoey counterpart, FTMs. I am really nervous about talking to her also because her English and my Thai are not that fluent. I am not sure I can convey everything I need to or want to. We often have the nephew translate for us or the sister in-law. But this is not something I would feel comfortable having a third person translate.

And yes, I agree. I do not want to be ostracized at this place. My mother, for whom I care and I both love this place. I would hate to not only lose this woman, the friendship and the restaurant all in one conversation.

Just a suggestion I wonder if you could find some translation online for the words you are looking for, or even something else is if you are on a group that deals with Trans, perhaps you could find someone that speaks Thai and could tell you how to translate it. Its obvious you both have a connection. Just breathe man take it 1 day at a time.

[MickMan]

Originally Posted by curlyredhead

Just a suggestion I wonder if you could find some translation online for the words you are looking for, or even something else is if you are on a group that deals with Trans, perhaps you could find someone that speaks Thai and could tell you how to translate it. Its obvious you both have a connection. Just breathe man take it 1 day at a time.

Yeah, that's the hard part, breathing LOL Sad thing, I am not really on any trans sites. I think I just need to maybe back off a bit and slow this down. Give me time to think.

[Trev]

Mick...Curly has given some great words of advice, I will ditto that.

Unique...Enjoy your mini vacation

It's getting closer to the weekend.....YESSS!! Now if it would just warm up.

[EmpressM]

Hello, Singles! How is everyone on this pre-Friday? Personally, I'm really looking forward to the weekend! I'm going to get my homework finished and then a couple o friends of mine and I are taking a belly dancing class on Saturday. What's everyone else up to?

Mick - sounds like you have some big decisions to make. I don't envy you in the least. Good luck to you. Matters of the heart are never uncomplicated.

[Bèsame*]

The belly dancing class sounds like fun! I've always wanted to do that, clamp those little bells in your hands and wear the sexy chains...you go girl... enjoy that class!

Originally Posted by EmpressM

Hello, Singles! How is everyone on this pre-Friday? Personally, I'm really looking forward to the weekend! I'm going to get my homework finished and then a couple o friends of mine and I are taking a belly dancing class on Saturday. What's everyone else up to?

Mick - sounds like you have some big decisions to make. I don't envy you in the least. Good luck to you. Matters of the heart are never uncomplicated.

[Bèsame*]

yea!

Clean bill of health from blood draw. Changing some meds and my doctor convinced me to do the 90 day plan, with that company that has a very busy welcome Season. I have this feeling they will treat me right, I have insider info.

It's almost Friday . Day two of mini staycation. Football playoff weekend!!!

[EmpressM]

I am sooooo excited! I've wanted to try belly dancing since 2001 when I was in India. When the opportunity arose, I jumped on it!

Originally Posted by Uniqueswtfemm

The belly dancing class sounds like fun! I've always wanted to do that, clamp those little bells in your hands and wear the sexy chains...you go girl... enjoy that class!

[Jesse]

My ex took belly dancing classes and she loved it. I hope that you do as well!

Originally Posted by EmpressM

I am sooooo excited! I've wanted to try belly dancing since 2001 when I was in India. When the opportunity arose, I jumped on it!

[Trev]

ssshhh it's still early... TGIFryday << would've been me after another day lol

[Bèsame*]

Hmmm...watching the View this morning and the subject of transgender comes up. This weekend on 20/20 it will be discussed. Interesting, it will be a young boy, now becoming a girl. She is 11, but on hormones. She is interested in dating ( at 11 is too young) but it will probably give insight on how to approach it.
Set your DVR' s now

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by Uniqueswtfemm

Hmmm...watching the View this morning and the subject of transgender comes up. This weekend on 20/20 it will be discussed. Interesting, it will be a young boy, now becoming a girl. She is 11, but on hormones. She is interested in dating ( at 11 is too young) but it will probably give insight on how to approach it.
Set your DVR' s now

I am openly trans and almost Post OP. I sort of have an issue with kids that young transitioning. Your brain isn't fully developed yet. Its a very sensitive topic in the trans community. If my kid was trans, I would tell them we support you and we love you, but please wait till you are older before you make your decision to start transitioning. As for dating I was 14 before I had my first date, I kissed a boy and I had nightmares for 3 days and dumped him after that.

[GraffitiBoi]

Popping in to say hi and maybe get some advice. There is a femme I have had a crush on for 2 years now. I never pursued it because she is straight. I found out recently that she actually is interested in me but is unsure of the whole trans thing. She knows I am trans and had told a mutual friend of ours several months ago that she would be interested after I have the final surgery.

Somehow she got the mistaken idea talking to me that I was going to have lower surgery. I am not. The technology for it just isn't good enough (in my opinion) and there are things (sexual) that I like about being female from the waist down and won't trade that if the technology for phalloplasty isn't good enough for me.

When I told this to our friend he actually went back and told her. Somehow he worked it into the conversation naturally. Apparently my 'crush' talks about me a lot with a couple of different friends of ours. They have all come to me and told me about their conversations. Usually if she wants to know something personal she just talks to me. BUT... she has talked to more than one person about being with me. Now she has said (verified by more than one source) that she's interested regardless if I have the surgery or not.

So my dilemma... Do I try and ask her out? I don't think asking her will ruin the friendship. That's pretty strong between us. I don't know if I am brave enough or bold enough to ask her and I'm not sure how to ask her out. I've dated a straight woman before. It was the longest lasting and most loving relationship I have ever had. (That ex told me yesterday that she misses me and would date me again. Sorry, but I'm not interested in going back to her.)

I'm rambling. I'm tired. I have a touch of the flu. LOL But... I will be seeing this person tonight when I go in to work. She's supposed to be coming over to my place sometime soon to pick up some furniture I'm giving to her and she will probably come to my birthday party in a few weeks.

[GraffitiBoi]

Originally Posted by curlyredhead

I am openly trans and almost Post OP. I sort of have an issue with kids that young transitioning. Your brain isn't fully developed yet. Its a very sensitive topic in the trans community. If my kid was trans, I would tell them we support you and we love you, but please wait till you are older before you make your decision to start transitioning. As for dating I was 14 before I had my first date, I kissed a boy and I had nightmares for 3 days and dumped him after that.

I also have an issue with transitioning that young. I know they want to make the transition easier by starting it before the hormones of the original gender kick in, but I know too many people who have changed their minds after all surgeries were complete. Most of transitioning is not reversible.

I didn't date until I was 14 or 15. Had the same reaction!

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by GraffitiBoi

Popping in to say hi and maybe get some advice. There is a femme I have had a crush on for 2 years now. I never pursued it because she is straight. I found out recently that she actually is interested in me but is unsure of the whole trans thing. She knows I am trans and had told a mutual friend of ours several months ago that she would be interested after I have the final surgery.

Somehow she got the mistaken idea talking to me that I was going to have lower surgery. I am not. The technology for it just isn't good enough (in my opinion) and there are things (sexual) that I like about being female from the waist down and won't trade that if the technology for phalloplasty isn't good enough for me.

When I told this to our friend he actually went back and told her. Somehow he worked it into the conversation naturally. Apparently my 'crush' talks about me a lot with a couple of different friends of ours. They have all come to me and told me about their conversations. Usually if she wants to know something personal she just talks to me. BUT... she has talked to more than one person about being with me. Now she has said (verified by more than one source) that she's interested regardless if I have the surgery or not.

So my dilemma... Do I try and ask her out? I don't think asking her will ruin the friendship. That's pretty strong between us. I don't know if I am brave enough or bold enough to ask her and I'm not sure how to ask her out. I've dated a straight woman before. It was the longest lasting and most loving relationship I have ever had. (That ex told me yesterday that she misses me and would date me again. Sorry, but I'm not interested in going back to her.)

I'm rambling. I'm tired. I have a touch of the flu. LOL But... I will be seeing this person tonight when I go in to work. She's supposed to be coming over to my place sometime soon to pick up some furniture I'm giving to her and she will probably come to my birthday party in a few weeks.

I think you should definitely ask her out man. What have you got to lose? I think a good idea would be nice dinner somewhere its quiet you can talk or maybe going out for some coffee. It's really a win / win situation.

Get to feeling better buddy.

[EmpressM]

{{{{Graffiti}}}}

Here's to a quick recovery! Flu is no fun!

Tread carefully here sugar, but definitely ask her out for something casual where you two can talk. Communication is a key foundation in any relationship, and I would definitely suggest cutting out the middlemen to ensure you are on the same page and nothing is lost in translation.

It's obvious you really like this girl, however I feel it is prudent to identify where she is mentally and emotionally, especially knowing that she is unsure about your being trans. The last thing you want to be is a curiosity to her only to realize later she can't deal, after you are emotionally invested.

A red flag for me in your post was her stating that she would be interested after the final surgery, then stating a different attitude in a conversation with a mutual friend. While humans often change their minds, there's a difference in "waffling" and a definitive change in convictions. Only thorough a face to face interaction are you going to be able to assess where she truly stands. Should all go well, it could be the gateway to setting aside your fears and feeling comfortable asking her out! Having an open, honest conversation will help you determine the best thing for you, and ultimately the future of your relationship with this girl, whether it's staying just friends or something more!

Best of luck on this journey!

Originally Posted by GraffitiBoi

Popping in to say hi and maybe get some advice. There is a femme I have had a crush on for 2 years now. I never pursued it because she is straight. I found out recently that she actually is interested in me but is unsure of the whole trans thing. She knows I am trans and had told a mutual friend of ours several months ago that she would be interested after I have the final surgery.

Somehow she got the mistaken idea talking to me that I was going to have lower surgery. I am not. The technology for it just isn't good enough (in my opinion) and there are things (sexual) that I like about being female from the waist down and won't trade that if the technology for phalloplasty isn't good enough for me.

When I told this to our friend he actually went back and told her. Somehow he worked it into the conversation naturally. Apparently my 'crush' talks about me a lot with a couple of different friends of ours. They have all come to me and told me about their conversations. Usually if she wants to know something personal she just talks to me. BUT... she has talked to more than one person about being with me. Now she has said (verified by more than one source) that she's interested regardless if I have the surgery or not.

So my dilemma... Do I try and ask her out? I don't think asking her will ruin the friendship. That's pretty strong between us. I don't know if I am brave enough or bold enough to ask her and I'm not sure how to ask her out. I've dated a straight woman before. It was the longest lasting and most loving relationship I have ever had. (That ex told me yesterday that she misses me and would date me again. Sorry, but I'm not interested in going back to her.)

I'm rambling. I'm tired. I have a touch of the flu. LOL But... I will be seeing this person tonight when I go in to work. She's supposed to be coming over to my place sometime soon to pick up some furniture I'm giving to her and she will probably come to my birthday party in a few weeks.