10-10-2015, 07:08 PM | #81 |
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I think it became chic to for straight women to have lesbian flings around the time Ellen DeGeneres came out, then Sex and the City had Samantha go through a phase with that gorgeous artist, Maria, played by Sonia Braga.
The scene where Maria ejaculated into Samantha's face was the funniest thing I'd seen all year. Carrie made out with a woman (details evade me) and even Miranda tried it but it wasn't for her. In real life, however, she married a butch. Back in the disco era, when sex was mostly recreational for many of us, I had a few flings with straight women. But once I matured and added a spiritual facet to sex and insisted that love be part of lovemaking (more often than not), I realized I was like a cat toy or an experiment for them, and it made me feel slightly used. Besides, I'm not a stone butch, so it was often unfulfilling after they had been satisfied. I slept with a bisexual woman not long ago and it was not much fun. I kept worrying that she'd give me an STD or some rashy thing she got from a guy. |
10-10-2015, 07:34 PM | #82 | |
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10-10-2015, 08:18 PM | #83 |
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I'm sorry, this made me laugh my butt off!
I know what you mean though. I've had a few experiences where the other person was my cat toy as well, although we both knew what the deal was and it was all good.
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11-21-2015, 06:40 PM | #84 | |
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This particular woman had been quite sexually active the long time I had known her, and in fact she had been treated for STDS several years ago in the past. Her behavior made me suspicious of most bisexuals. I'm not a blamer; I take responsibility for my own actions. I have never had an STD of any kind because I have been careful. Statements like, "..."instead of blaming cooties on someone else's vajayay" and telling me "what I need to read up on..." seemed awfully judgmental considering I don't know you and you don't know me, what I do, or what I studied in college. I thought about replying for quite a while, because I'm not looking to make enemies or get into cat fights on the site. However, reading your comment again weeks later, it still seems like you were being snippy & presumptuous. Can we start from scratch or would you prefer to scratch my face in that catfight I mentioned? |
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11-21-2015, 08:11 PM | #85 | ||
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You say you had a less than delightful sexual experience with someone that you know has previously been treated for an STD and that you were concerned about catching something from her. Using that scenario, any sex in which you would be concerned about contracting an STD means that that person you are with is also capable of contracting something from you. That is the opposite of safe sex and belies the level of care you profess to take. I can't imagine that anyone is ready to pounce and engage you in a catfight but you've got to be prepared to hear responses to what you put out into the Universe. |
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11-21-2015, 08:27 PM | #86 |
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It means if you can catch something from her, you aren't using safe sex, and as far as she knows she could catch something from you too.
You didn't say "this particular bisexual woman" you said "I slept with a bisexual woman" Those are two very different sentences. If the person's sexuality did not have context in terms of getting an STD, why would you say her sexuality? Would you say "I slept with a lesbian and I was afraid of getting an STD"? Probably not, you'd likely leave her sexuality out of the sentence. Using the word "bisexual" to connote a link to "std" is common. Which is why I sniped. I personally think you are being slippery and disingenuous because the way you have constructed your sentences seems to point to STD and bisexual being linked. And now you are trying to wiggle out of it. I'm just some snipey biatch on the net so, I'm sure you don't give a toss, but you asked, so I'm giving you an answer. If you are in a situation wherein you can catch an STD off someone, whether they have one or not, you are NOT having safe sex. You are saying "ew this scary bisexual coulda given me an std" and my point is "dude. Self responsibility. Have safe sex and you can't blame anyone." Get me, yet? If you are confused as to the various different ways to protect yourself from various different STDs with female-female sexual relations, I can post a link. Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 11-21-2015 at 08:34 PM. |
11-21-2015, 09:13 PM | #87 |
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This thread initially set me on edge...cause as everyone knows, if you're looking to be offended by something, you'll find it...and sure enough, offense happened...lol...lots of it...
I think why I have a problem with questions like this is because I apparently don't look at sexuality the same way as some other people...I firmly believe that people live all along the Kinsey scale and their location may change considerably through their life. I also believe that a "truly" straight woman isn't going to date a woman, butch or no. My friend is a truly straight woman - if you feel nothing but embarrassment and awkwardness when another woman is face down in your vagina, you're straight as an arrow. She gave it a shot (mostly for her husband), but it wasn't her thing. A lot of others can't even muster the interest to go that far. I've been working on this one cute little thing for months to no avail. My and my butch's attention boosts her self-esteem and helps her feel important but there's zero chance her porch door will ever swing our way. That being said, I think (luckily for us) quite a few people are spread further along the Kinsey scale. My best friend in my 30s had previously had only relationships with men, but it took me roughly twice to get her naked. She was definitely not on the far end of the Scale. On one hand, it's very important to be respectful of how people self-identify...if they do at all. On the other hand, you also need to realize that straight, and any other label, may not be the same to all people. That's why I think questions like this put me so on edge. Too many generalizations when there are untold amounts of different variations of sexuality and desire. It's like trying to take people off the Scale and shove them into five or six boxes. Here, you're straight. Oh, you...you're Trans; you go here...Ooooh a bi girl; get in this one...etc etc I think that's one of the main things that causes such confusion. We don't allow people to step outside their boxes at all without judgement and the need to find out exactly why they don't fit in these limited descriptions of what sexuality is. So, I don't know...that "straight" girl you're banging? Probably not as straight as you're imagining. And there's not a thing in the world wrong with that.
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11-22-2015, 06:10 PM | #88 | |
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Okay I, want to clear this up once and for all. Because I was worried about contracting possible STDs from this one particular bisexual woman, we had safe sex and even then I was still feeling a little hinky about it so I stopped engaging altogether with this woman. I don't need to learn more about STD's or safe sex. I am not slippery, disingenuous or wiggling. |
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11-22-2015, 06:20 PM | #89 |
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I read an interesting study, which I have been trying to find to post here. I'll keep looking, but the premise of the study was that women are either bi-sexual or gay....rarely ever simply straight.
I have heard this before so the theory is not a new one, but the study was a very interesting read. |
11-22-2015, 06:31 PM | #90 |
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I'll look forward to reading it when you find it!
I worked in retail because I'm a people person and really enjoy interacting with others! I am very obviously! I mean if you looked up the word lesbian no doubt you'd see my picture next to the definition! When straight women sort of 'cozyed up to me" I always dismissed it as the curiosity factor! I thought getting involved with a straight woman was nothing more than a recipe for disaster! Maybe I shouldn't of dismissed it so fast after all. |
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11-22-2015, 06:47 PM | #91 |
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I have been attracted to butches ( I just called them 'tomboys' before I knew what a butch was) since puberty. Before puberty I was attracted to boys in a sort of general way. Meaning, I never imagined being naked with a boy...lol. My romantic daydreams played out something like a Disney movie. I have dated a few men in my life. Does that mean I'm bi? Not even a little bit. Life doesn't come with instructions, ya know...People are complex. I hate how we pigeonhole each other...
I'm still almost exclusively attracted to butches though I 'notice' hot femmes as well. I just don't want to date a femme. My main femme crushes are straight celebrities like the UFC girls. It's strange for me because I'm a total pacifist, but some of them make me a little giddy. I don't know why... |
11-22-2015, 07:20 PM | #92 | |
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11-22-2015, 07:29 PM | #93 |
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Actually, the original research said no such thing. The science reporting took info and ran with it. I thought it sounded really suspicious so I read the actual research and not the reporting of it.
It's not what people are hyping it to be. |
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11-22-2015, 07:46 PM | #94 |
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I thought Kinsey cleared all this up in the 1940's, no?
Almost EVERYBODY is a lil' gay...
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11-22-2015, 08:03 PM | #95 |
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07-23-2016, 08:08 PM | #96 |
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Bumping this thread as I recall recent posts regarding co-works coming on to them !
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08-19-2016, 06:00 PM | #97 |
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Nope, no straight or bi women for me. <-- I'm aware that's not always a popular position to take. For some it's viewed as prejudicial. Shrug! Even so... I figure relationships between lesbian women are dramatic enough... I don't feel the need to feed that fire with additional dynamics.
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08-20-2016, 01:18 PM | #98 | |
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08-21-2016, 11:13 AM | #99 |
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Sure
Let me preface first by saying the best advise pops ever gave me was that life was too hard, too fast, too rough... too whatever... for anyone to rely on learning just from one's own mistakes. Better to learn too from the mistakes made by those around you. So... When I was in my 20's I, like many of my butch friends, we were primarily interested in looks... gay ... bi... straight... didn't matter. If they were cute, if they were hot, we were game! I dated a few straight and bi women ... and it always turned into one mess or another. Within a few days... or a few weeks... I'd hear... 1. Oh no, I have a boyfriend! 2. You're sweet... but... umm.... I'm gonna go back to my boyfriend. 3. I just wanted to see what it was like. 4. It was a mistake... it was a sin! After that happened to me.... maybe the second or third time... I swore ... more or less mockingly/jokingly.... off bi/straight women! I say mockingly/jokingly as if... I would really stay away from cute hot, girls of any preference! <-- Keep in mind I was in my 20's...young... dumb and full o'... Anyway, so while I was in my "I'll never touch a straight / bi chic again!" funk... my butch friends weren't! They just continued on their not so merry way ... banging their heads against the same walls... over and over again. I watched and I learned. They all got the same responses I got along with lots of BS from the ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends who were typically lurking SOMEWHERE in the picture. Guys are ...usually... fine if it's two femmes together but when it's his femme and a butch... nope, that's not okay!! My fellow butch friends would tell me how they'd get asked about packing.... asked what did they do to her... asked how big was their cock... if they were lucky... dumb ass questions were all they got. Some were not so lucky. I had two butch friends threatened and one beaten up by an ex-boyfriend. So, my half joking swear-off from bi's and straight women twenty years ago became permanent. No offense intended to anyone. You be you and I'll be me. Simply put... I just find it unnecessary or worth the potential hassle that can come from it. There are plenty of wonderful lesbian women out there who share my culture ... my history... my experiences...etc... etc... which puts us much closer being on the same page than does straight or bi women. EDIT: p.s. I'm assuming by "straight" we mean first-timers? |
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08-21-2016, 11:43 AM | #100 | |
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