I'd Like to Claim I was Drunk: Pick Up Lines Destined to Fail - Page 5

mustangjeano · 01-25-2012, 06:17 PM

SAID MANY YEARS AGO TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT WORK, " I'm not just bragging about how good I am---that many women can't be wrong.

chai~ · 01-30-2012, 11:29 PM

I didn't use this line, but this was used on my once and I tried so hard not to laugh!!!

Meeting butch on a blind date set up by a friend.

Them, "You know, my dentist really hates it when I come in for a cleaning."

Me, a look of concern, "Oh really? How come?"

Them, "Well because my tongue is so strong and long, that the assistant has to hold it down with a depressor so the dentist can clean my teeth."

I think I downed my drink and excused myself.

chai~ · 02-23-2012, 07:55 PM

Metro · 02-23-2012, 08:02 PM

not sure why but i think you're hot!

SleepyButch · 01-18-2015, 02:39 PM

We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time baby.. but if you'd like to...

cinnamongrrl · 01-18-2015, 03:03 PM

Ohhh my god.

I was just talking to my roomie about pickup linea 10 minutes ago! Freaky!!!!

Sooo one that I find memorable....

"Id really like to introduce you to my friend, Stanley. My power tool."

Check please!

SleepyButch · 01-18-2015, 03:19 PM

Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

imperfect_cupcake · 01-18-2015, 04:23 PM

Done by a butch in a bar -

She inhaled a helium balloon then said while leaning in a swanky manner on the bar "I'm Luke skywalker and I'm here to save youuuuuuuuuuu"

Totally worked.

Done by one of my exes at a party -

Sat down in front of me with a rolled ciggy dangling out the corner of her mouth and one of the hosts tea towels in her hand.

She said nothing but carefully and quickly folded the tea towel into a roast chicken, held it up and winked at me. Then asked me if I wanted a beer to go with the chicken.

Totally worked.

C0LLETTE · 01-18-2015, 05:36 PM

"My ex-partner, KD Lang, bet me that you'd let me buy you a drink."

Only fails if you're trying to buy a drink for KD Lang's ex-partner.

cinnamongrrl · 01-18-2015, 06:20 PM

My cousin told me a girl once said this to him...

"I like your pants. They'd look good on the floor next to my bed."

Damn...

SleepyButch · 01-18-2015, 06:22 PM

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

cinnamongrrl · 01-18-2015, 06:28 PM

My cousin told me a girl once said this to him...

"I like your pants. They'd look good on the floor next to my bed."

Damn...

homoe · 01-18-2015, 07:27 PM

I've heard that same line BUT it was told by a butch to a femme & it was her dress that would look good!

RNguy · 01-19-2015, 01:26 AM

In WV and KY you will hear this said:
" baby, you look like someone whooped up on you with the pretty stick "

I did say it to Laney_Doll once to see what she would say and I think it was...
"Good Lord baby"

Gemme · 01-19-2015, 07:45 PM

Hopefully no one gets the ugly stick and the pretty stick confused.

Bard · 01-19-2015, 07:50 PM

Excuse me did you eat breakfast? Was it lucky charms, because you look magically delicious?

Bard · 01-19-2015, 07:53 PM

Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

RNguy · 01-20-2015, 04:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Hopefully no one gets the ugly stick and the pretty stick confused.

Well it is Appalachia !!!!

C0LLETTE · 01-20-2015, 12:38 PM

OMG was that your drink I just finished? I'm so sorry.Here, let me get you another.

Ginger · 01-20-2015, 09:14 PM

Ha, these are making me imagine Will Ferrell as a butch.

01-25-2012, 06:17 PM	#81
mustangjeano Member How Do You Identify?: old school stonebutch, Queer TG butch, ranch hand Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single, not looking Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ca. Posts: 1,088 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,459 Thanked 1,029 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 15314316	SAID MANY YEARS AGO TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT WORK, " I'm not just bragging about how good I am---that many women can't be wrong. __________________ "Your outlook affects your outcome". John Paul Warren

01-18-2015, 02:39 PM	#85
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Inspired from another thread.. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time baby.. but if you'd like to... __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

01-18-2015, 03:03 PM	#86
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,655 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,207 Thanked 27,592 Times in 6,951 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Ohhh my god. I was just talking to my roomie about pickup linea 10 minutes ago! Freaky!!!! Sooo one that I find memorable.... "Id really like to introduce you to my friend, Stanley. My power tool." Check please! __________________

01-18-2015, 03:19 PM	#87
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've never used any of these but might have to start lol Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

01-18-2015, 06:20 PM	#90
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,655 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,207 Thanked 27,592 Times in 6,951 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	My cousin told me a girl once said this to him... "I like your pants. They'd look good on the floor next to my bed." Damn... __________________

01-30-2012, 11:29 PM	#82
chai~ Member How Do You Identify?: Self possessed Aquarian Preferred Pronoun?: Don't call me baby~ Relationship Status: Deliciously single and loving it. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: lotus land Posts: 1,173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,937 Thanked 3,382 Times in 864 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I didn't use this line, but this was used on my once and I tried so hard not to laugh!!! Meeting butch on a blind date set up by a friend. Them, "You know, my dentist really hates it when I come in for a cleaning." Me, a look of concern, "Oh really? How come?" Them, "Well because my tongue is so strong and long, that the assistant has to hold it down with a depressor so the dentist can clean my teeth." I think I downed my drink and excused myself.

02-23-2012, 07:55 PM	#83
chai~ Member How Do You Identify?: Self possessed Aquarian Preferred Pronoun?: Don't call me baby~ Relationship Status: Deliciously single and loving it. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: lotus land Posts: 1,173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,937 Thanked 3,382 Times in 864 Posts Rep Power: 21474853

02-23-2012, 08:02 PM	#84
Metro Senior Member How Do You Identify?: • Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: • Posts: 1,606 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,476 Thanked 2,915 Times in 733 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	not sure why but i think you're hot!

01-18-2015, 04:23 PM	#88
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,713 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Done by a butch in a bar - She inhaled a helium balloon then said while leaning in a swanky manner on the bar "I'm Luke skywalker and I'm here to save youuuuuuuuuuu" Totally worked. Done by one of my exes at a party - Sat down in front of me with a rolled ciggy dangling out the corner of her mouth and one of the hosts tea towels in her hand. She said nothing but carefully and quickly folded the tea towel into a roast chicken, held it up and winked at me. Then asked me if I wanted a beer to go with the chicken. Totally worked.

01-18-2015, 05:36 PM	#89
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,180 Times in 4,343 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	"My ex-partner, KD Lang, bet me that you'd let me buy you a drink." Only fails if you're trying to buy a drink for KD Lang's ex-partner.

01-18-2015, 06:22 PM	#91
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

01-18-2015, 06:28 PM	#92
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,655 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,207 Thanked 27,592 Times in 6,951 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	My cousin told me a girl once said this to him... "I like your pants. They'd look good on the floor next to my bed." Damn... __________________

01-18-2015, 07:27 PM	#93
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,562 Times in 14,921 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	I've heard that same line BUT it was told by a butch to a femme & it was her dress that would look good!

01-19-2015, 01:26 AM	#94
RNguy Member How Do You Identify?: trans Preferred Pronoun?: He preferredably :) Relationship Status: the pitbull <€ Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Birmingham, Alabama Posts: 1,058 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,473 Thanked 2,266 Times in 510 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	In WV and KY you will hear this said: " baby, you look like someone whooped up on you with the pretty stick " I did say it to Laney_Doll once to see what she would say and I think it was... "Good Lord baby" __________________

01-19-2015, 07:45 PM	#95
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,980 Times in 25,665 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	Hopefully no one gets the ugly stick and the pretty stick confused. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

01-19-2015, 07:50 PM	#96
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Excuse me did you eat breakfast? Was it lucky charms, because you look magically delicious? __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

01-19-2015, 07:53 PM	#97
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

01-20-2015, 12:38 PM	#99
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,180 Times in 4,343 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	OMG was that your drink I just finished? I'm so sorry.Here, let me get you another.

01-20-2015, 09:14 PM	#100
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,299 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Ha, these are making me imagine Will Ferrell as a butch. __________________ Reach out.