Corny jokes - Page 50

A. Spectre · 11-24-2023, 11:34 AM

My neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 o'clock this morning!

Thank goodness I was already awake practicing my bagpipes.

Stone-Butch · 11-25-2023, 07:37 PM

Why did the bad chicken cross the road?

For foul reasons.

Kätzchen · 11-27-2023, 11:40 PM

Where do books sleep???

— Under their covers.

GeorgiaMa'am · 11-28-2023, 05:06 PM

Q: What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?

A: An elk a seltzer.

Bèsame* · 11-30-2023, 07:31 PM

what games do reindeer play at sleepovers?

Truth or deer

Stone-Butch · 12-01-2023, 04:25 PM

why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Cause they lactose.

How do rabbits get to far away places?

They take the hareplane.

A. Spectre · 12-02-2023, 06:18 PM

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender.

"I'll have a gin and.................tonic."

The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"

The polar bear replies, " I don't know, I've always had them."

Stone-Butch · 12-02-2023, 09:42 PM

What did the horse say after he tripped?

Help I've fallen and I can't giddyup

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You really are pointless.

Kätzchen · 12-03-2023, 09:03 AM

Did you hear about bailiff who moonlighted as a bartender???

— He served subpoena coladas.

🐾🐾🐾🍸🍸🐾🐾🐾

Kätzchen · 12-03-2023, 09:08 AM

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says “I’ll have one too.” The third vampire says “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”

The bartender says “So that will be two bloods and a blood lite???”

Kätzchen · 12-03-2023, 09:13 AM

A horse walks into a bar.

The shocked bartender said “HEY!!”

The horse said “Buddy, you read my mind.”

Stone-Butch · 12-03-2023, 09:52 PM

An elf walks into a toy store and starts going over all the toys. Manager comes over and looks at him and says, "excuse me are you suppose to be doing that?"

Elf says "I don't have time to talk I need to get this work done".

Manager says, "how do I know you are suppose to have this job?"

Elf says "I am in the union and I don't need this idle talk"

Manager says "pardon me but how do I know you are registered?"

Elf says "I am suppose to do this, orders from the big guy".

Manager says "not without telling me you are here, you could be a thief"

Elf says "I follow all the rules so I forgot one, big deal"

Manager says "you would have known had you read the SANTA CLAUSE"

Soft*Silver · 12-03-2023, 11:03 PM

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Stone-Butch · 12-05-2023, 09:50 PM

I put two in high/low room by mistake. There now two mistakes this year.

A. Spectre · 12-07-2023, 10:46 AM

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

Kätzchen · 12-08-2023, 07:22 PM

What do you call a Voodoo Live Stream?

— Twitch Craft.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Voodoo.

Voodoo you think you are asking all these questions???

Kätzchen · 12-08-2023, 07:40 PM

Bèsame* · 12-08-2023, 08:33 PM

What side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The out side.

I bought 12 bees from a beekeeper. He gave me 13. I told him he gave me 13. He said dont worry, it's a free-bee.

kittygrrl · 12-08-2023, 09:47 PM

Bèsame* · 12-10-2023, 09:15 PM

aha...There was a female reindeer and apparently she was mean.

Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.

11-24-2023, 11:34 AM	#981
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,067 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Love this thread! My neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 o'clock this morning! Thank goodness I was already awake practicing my bagpipes. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

11-25-2023, 07:37 PM	#982
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,226 Thanked 9,292 Times in 3,001 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Corny Jokes Why did the bad chicken cross the road? For foul reasons.

11-27-2023, 11:40 PM	#983
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,053 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,510 Times in 10,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Where do books sleep??? — Under their covers. __________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

11-28-2023, 05:06 PM	#984
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,415 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,457 Thanked 28,463 Times in 5,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Q: What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy? A: An elk a seltzer. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

11-30-2023, 07:31 PM	#985
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,373 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,109 Thanked 40,936 Times in 10,726 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	what games do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

12-01-2023, 04:25 PM	#986
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,226 Thanked 9,292 Times in 3,001 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Corny Jokes why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Cause they lactose. How do rabbits get to far away places? They take the hareplane.

12-02-2023, 06:18 PM	#987
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,067 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	:) A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender. "I'll have a gin and.................tonic." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The polar bear replies, " I don't know, I've always had them." __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

12-02-2023, 09:42 PM	#988
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,226 Thanked 9,292 Times in 3,001 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Corny Jokes What did the horse say after he tripped? Help I've fallen and I can't giddyup What did the triangle say to the circle? You really are pointless.

12-03-2023, 09:03 AM	#989
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,053 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,510 Times in 10,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Did you hear about bailiff who moonlighted as a bartender??? — He served subpoena coladas. 🐾🐾🐾🍸🍸🐾🐾🐾 __________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

12-03-2023, 09:08 AM	#990
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,053 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,510 Times in 10,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says “I’ll have one too.” The third vampire says “I’ll have a pint of plasma.” The bartender says “So that will be two bloods and a blood lite???” __________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

12-03-2023, 09:13 AM	#991
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,053 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,510 Times in 10,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	A horse walks into a bar. The shocked bartender said “HEY!!” The horse said “Buddy, you read my mind.” __________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

12-03-2023, 09:52 PM	#992
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,226 Thanked 9,292 Times in 3,001 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Corny Jokes An elf walks into a toy store and starts going over all the toys. Manager comes over and looks at him and says, "excuse me are you suppose to be doing that?" Elf says "I don't have time to talk I need to get this work done". Manager says, "how do I know you are suppose to have this job?" Elf says "I am in the union and I don't need this idle talk" Manager says "pardon me but how do I know you are registered?" Elf says "I am suppose to do this, orders from the big guy". Manager says "not without telling me you are here, you could be a thief" Elf says "I follow all the rules so I forgot one, big deal" Manager says "you would have known had you read the SANTA CLAUSE"

12-03-2023, 11:03 PM	#993
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,908 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow! __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

12-05-2023, 09:50 PM	#994
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,226 Thanked 9,292 Times in 3,001 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Corny jokes I put two in high/low room by mistake. There now two mistakes this year.

12-07-2023, 10:46 AM	#995
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,067 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	<: What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

12-08-2023, 07:22 PM	#996
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,053 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,510 Times in 10,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	✨✨✨✨ voodoo ✨✨✨✨ What do you call a Voodoo Live Stream? — Twitch Craft. Knock knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo you think you are asking all these questions??? __________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

12-08-2023, 07:40 PM	#997
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,053 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,510 Times in 10,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	__________________ “In the end, it’s not about how much stuff you have, it’s about how many hearts you touched,” — Iva Ursano.

12-08-2023, 08:33 PM	#998
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,373 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,109 Thanked 40,936 Times in 10,726 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	What side of the turkey has the most feathers? The out side. I bought 12 bees from a beekeeper. He gave me 13. I told him he gave me 13. He said dont worry, it's a free-bee. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

12-08-2023, 09:47 PM	#999
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,358 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,574 Thanked 21,948 Times in 7,074 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	__________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

12-10-2023, 09:15 PM	#1000
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,373 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,109 Thanked 40,936 Times in 10,726 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	aha...There was a female reindeer and apparently she was mean. Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.