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#1041 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
The Past, Present, and the Future walked into a bar.
It was Tense.
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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#1042 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
How much money does a skunk have???
Just one scent.
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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#1043 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Q: How do bats fly?
A: They wing it. —————————————🎃 Q: Why did the skeleton quit his job? A: His heart wasn’t in it: —————————— 🎃 Q: Why don’t vampires play baseball? A: Their bats keep flying away. ———————————————🎃 Q: Why did the ghost need first aid? A: They had boo-boo’s.
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
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#1044 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme woman Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
solo ![]() Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 905
Thanks: 302
Thanked 2,155 Times in 659 Posts
Rep Power: 16642921 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Here's a Christmas one.
The three wise men came to visit Jesus in the stable. They entered one by one because the door was narrow. The third wise man was tall and having hit his head on the door frame, exclaimed "Jesus Christ! Mary turned to Joseph and said "You know, I like that name a lot better than Irving." Smooches, Keri |
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#1045 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme woman Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
solo ![]() Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 905
Thanks: 302
Thanked 2,155 Times in 659 Posts
Rep Power: 16642921 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Here's a Christmas one.
The three wise men came to visit Jesus in the stable. They entered one by one because the door was narrow. The third wise man was tall and having hit his head on the door frame, exclaimed "Jesus Christ! Mary turned to Joseph and said "You know, I like that name a lot better than Irving." Smooches, Keri |
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#1046 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
witchy Preferred Pronoun?:
'Je ne sais quoi' Relationship Status:
Til you believe Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: waking dream
Posts: 10,195
Thanks: 21,807
Thanked 22,207 Times in 7,270 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Q-how do you get trump to change a light bulb?
A-Tell him Obama put it in
__________________
"Extinction is the rule. Survival is the exception Carl Sagan |
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#1047 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
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#1048 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
**loved by many** Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 15,489
Thanks: 29,216
Thanked 41,073 Times in 10,801 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What's 90 degrees but covered with ice?
The North and South Poles. What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were marooned. What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.
__________________
kissesA kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back. |
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#1049 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
How do you throw a party in outer space??
You planet. ——————————. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?? They don’t because they might crack up!! ——————————. What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi Bud!”
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
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#1050 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of pet??
A: A scaredy-cat. ![]() Q: When do ghost’s eat breakfast??? A: In the moaning. ![]() Q: What does a ghost put on their bagel??? A: Scream Cheese.
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
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#1051 |
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Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
Moving in a single file and sometimes a Sinner. Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 14,050
Thanks: 41,602
Thanked 34,922 Times in 9,081 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What kind of witch goes to the beach?
A sandwitch.
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I’m mad (she mad) but I ain’t stressin’… —Kendrick Lamar from King Kunta |
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#1052 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,936
Thanks: 13,480
Thanked 9,518 Times in 3,166 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
It was a little horse. Why did the strawberry cry? She found herself in a jam. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You are under a vest. If you go in the bathroom American and come out American what were you in the bathroom. European. |
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#1053 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,936
Thanks: 13,480
Thanked 9,518 Times in 3,166 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Cause they lactose. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people. But none of them worked. I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey. Then I turned myself around. I just burned 1200 calories. I left the pizza in the oven. |
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#1054 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Q: What did the buffalo dad say to his son when he dropped him off at school??
A: Bison. …………………………………………… . Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot???? A: a walkie talkie.
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
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#1055 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
witchy Preferred Pronoun?:
'Je ne sais quoi' Relationship Status:
Til you believe Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: waking dream
Posts: 10,195
Thanks: 21,807
Thanked 22,207 Times in 7,270 Posts
Rep Power: 21474863 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Why can't you play hide & seek with Mountains? A. Because they always peak What do you call a mountain goat? A. A hillbilly Why didn't the man want to climb the mountain? A. He didn't see the point
__________________
"Extinction is the rule. Survival is the exception Carl Sagan |
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#1056 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,936
Thanks: 13,480
Thanked 9,518 Times in 3,166 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What job did the frog have at the hotel?
Bellhop When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn. What does a baby computer call his father? Data. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. Why did the banana go to the Dr? He wasn't peeling well. |
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#1057 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What sound does a turkey’s phone make???
Wing, wing!
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Kätzchen For This Useful Post: |
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#1058 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
Attached to my wonderful partner <3 Join Date: May 2010
Location: In a gated community.
Posts: 16,522
Thanks: 29,177
Thanked 33,760 Times in 10,834 Posts
Rep Power: 21474869 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
__________________
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain,” — Kahlil Gibran 🌷🌷🌷🌷
🌷🌷🌷🌷 |
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#1059 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,936
Thanks: 13,480
Thanked 9,518 Times in 3,166 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt. Where does the poor meatball live? In the spagetto. What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. Why did the Mexican throw his wife into the river? Tequila |
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#1060 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Baby Boi Relationship Status:
She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North Shore Chicago
Posts: 1,570
Thanks: 11,036
Thanked 11,079 Times in 1,497 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I called the tinnitus hotline. No one ever answered.
It just rang and rang.
__________________
* * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable |
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