Single FTM's & Femme's

[moxie]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Show me some Twizzlers or gummy bears/worms/bugs/etc or Lifesavers Gummy anything or.....

Will Sour Patch Kids help bring people to assist with the trees?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by puregrrl

Will Sour Patch Kids help bring people to assist with the trees?

Perchance it may!

[Soft*Silver]

When I posted my question, I didnt want to be rescued...lol nor did I want any 12 year old to get tied to a tree and whacked. But I did see a few fellas appear ...which is a good thing.

So ... lets talk about first dates. I havent been on a first date in a few years. So I am kinda rusty.... I want to hear about your feelings, memories, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. What would be a turn off for you? What would be a green flag? What would you wear? ...anyone game to talk about this? Just so we have a conversation starter?

[moxie]

Originally Posted by softness

When I posted my question, I didnt want to be rescued...lol nor did I want any 12 year old to get tied to a tree and whacked. But I did see a few fellas appear ...which is a good thing.

So ... lets talk about first dates. I havent been on a first date in a few years. So I am kinda rusty.... I want to hear about your feelings, memories, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. What would be a turn off for you? What would be a green flag? What would you wear? ...anyone game to talk about this? Just so we have a conversation starter?

Well, I haven't been on a "first date" in years. Last few relationships I have been in went straight into relationships. I would love to just date again.

I would want all the butterflies and nervousness and talking for hours and not realizing how late it is. A turn off for me would be for the date to not let me get a word in. I am quiet and am comfortable with silence but let me say something when I want.

I don't know what I would wear...it would all depend on what the date entailed.

Too tired to talk about this in great length and intelligently but wanted to say something.

[JustLovelyJenn]

Originally Posted by softness

When I posted my question, I didnt want to be rescued...lol nor did I want any 12 year old to get tied to a tree and whacked. But I did see a few fellas appear ...which is a good thing.

So ... lets talk about first dates. I havent been on a first date in a few years. So I am kinda rusty.... I want to hear about your feelings, memories, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. What would be a turn off for you? What would be a green flag? What would you wear? ...anyone game to talk about this? Just so we have a conversation starter?

In all honesty, I haven't been on a "first date" since i was in high school... never with anyone that wasn't a biomale... somehow it never works out that way. I would love to be wooed, get all giddy, worry about my clothes and my hair, wait for the knock at the door.... but really, I wouldn't know what to expect at this point.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by softness

When I posted my question, I didnt want to be rescued...lol nor did I want any 12 year old to get tied to a tree and whacked. But I did see a few fellas appear ...which is a good thing.

So ... lets talk about first dates. I havent been on a first date in a few years. So I am kinda rusty.... I want to hear about your feelings, memories, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. What would be a turn off for you? What would be a green flag? What would you wear? ...anyone game to talk about this? Just so we have a conversation starter?

I love dates and especially first dates. I haven't had very horrible first and/or blind date stories thus far, so I still enjoy them.

Green flags: I like the treatment I associate with OFOS butches/FTMs....opening the door, hand at the base of my back, pulling my chair out/pushing it in for me, walking on the curb side of the street with me...and so on....

Having a sense of humor, especially if it's a bit twisted or dry.

Being considerate, expressive and showing a little bit of goofiness wouldn't hurt either.

Red flags: "I forgot my wallet" I have no issue with going halvsies or even paying for the meal, if that is what we've agreed to, but don't pull that. If it's accidental, then that says something about how important this evening is to you. If it's "accidentally" on purpose, then that shows me that you lack in several areas.

"My ex did this, did that, went there, is this..." I'm not on a date with your ex. A passing comment--fine. A bio and indepth discussion? Not interested.

Giving me a list of all of your faults and/or issues and/or medications you are on and/or how much time you've spent behind bars...unless you are trying to run me off (a simple "this has been nice, but I must leave now" would work too)....revealing too much too soon is something that I struggle with so if there are two of us doing it, it's going to be a disaster from the word go.

Lacking the ability to dress oneself well and/or perform at least general hygiene routines and/or being rude to the waitstaff will get you a quick goodbye. I don't do grubby, stinky or rude.

The attire would depend on where we went and what we were doing. Bowling and a movie would garner a different dress code than a romantic dinner at Anthony's on the Waterfront, for example.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by softness

What would you wear?

depends on where I take my date.

[Soft*Silver]

I too am weary of the "speed dating speech" ...especially when it gets too "too much too soon" information. I do admire someone who will tell me they have a drug or drinking problem, only because I am in recovery. I had one person do that for me and I was really appreciative. I still dated them too! Honesty is what its about...

I like the build up of a first date...the an-tisssss-AA - payyyyyy - SHUNNNNN...

One of my fav of all times first dates was when a dozen of red roses came to my door one hour before he was to arrive...we had met thru a gay news rag personals section. We had talked but never met until that first date...lord I loved his style!

I also noted in posts where some said they hadnt had first dates..that they just got into relationships. I LOVE to date. And sometimes I will date a few people at a time. That stops the minute I decide to get intimate sexually with someone. Then I date only that person. But it takes awhile to get there, especially if its local. LDRs are a different kind of dating. There is an assumption made that if you talk for awhile (months, not weeks) and you go to meet someone, that probably (not definetely) the two will consumate the dating with sex. I dont think its a given..at least not in my book. But there is a likelyhood....if there is that connection in person as well as on the phone and internet...

I personally like wearing dresses on first dates. I am not a jeans person.

I would do my nails ...and probably buy a new eye shadow just for the occassion. And sexy underwear. He will never see them (not on the first date) but they will make me feel wonderful and sexy. I will wear my trademark scent...and shampoo my hair with some pretty smelling shampoo...I try real hard not to overdo scents, tho. It can have the reverse affect if its done too loudly...

turn offs for me would be excessive drinking, bullfrog political speak, anti Ex talk, poor hygiene or rumpled clothes, a dirty mouth (and I dont mean brushing is needed), road rage, insulting behavior toward anyone at anytime including the waiter, and a dirty messy car.

Green flags...on time, smiling, obvious delight, maybe a flower, taking my arm, opening doors, listening when I talk, noticing my nails or hair, asking questions, simple but tasteful and clean attire, clean car with soft music, and always smiling back at my smiles...keeping focused on the date instead of the potential (not counting how many days you can move in), and casually subtly letting me know there is no pressure for sex..only for my attentions...

wow...I am feeling...well...like I wanna first date! smiling....not yet...but soon...

ok...my next question is...is it ok for the girl to ask you out?

[Jet]

There are dances, sponsored events and dinners, lots of different events for dating. Honestly? I wouldn't ask anyone for a date. A single ticket and a reservation for one works for me—even for formal events.

I think meeting new people and making friends is great. But I don't think I would be interested in anything beyond that.

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I love dates and especially first dates. I haven't had very horrible first and/or blind date stories thus far, so I still enjoy them.

Green flags: I like the treatment I associate with OFOS butches/FTMs....opening the door, hand at the base of my back, pulling my chair out/pushing it in for me, walking on the curb side of the street with me...and so on....

Having a sense of humor, especially if it's a bit twisted or dry.

Being considerate, expressive and showing a little bit of goofiness wouldn't hurt either.

Red flags: "I forgot my wallet" I have no issue with going halvsies or even paying for the meal, if that is what we've agreed to, but don't pull that. If it's accidental, then that says something about how important this evening is to you. If it's "accidentally" on purpose, then that shows me that you lack in several areas.

"My ex did this, did that, went there, is this..." I'm not on a date with your ex. A passing comment--fine. A bio and indepth discussion? Not interested.

Giving me a list of all of your faults and/or issues and/or medications you are on and/or how much time you've spent behind bars...unless you are trying to run me off (a simple "this has been nice, but I must leave now" would work too)....revealing too much too soon is something that I struggle with so if there are two of us doing it, it's going to be a disaster from the word go.

Lacking the ability to dress oneself well and/or perform at least general hygiene routines and/or being rude to the waitstaff will get you a quick goodbye. I don't do grubby, stinky or rude.

The attire would depend on where we went and what we were doing. Bowling and a movie would garner a different dress code than a romantic dinner at Anthony's on the Waterfront, for example.

Well I love the idea of OSOF...I cherish that...just never had it...I have had horrible blind dates..so I am leary...But for the most part...I second Gemme...you hit the nail on the head so to speak.

I do wonder about the topic of disclosing too much too soon...how much is too much? I mean if you feel the chemistry when is too soon? Perhaps the second date? I ponder this so often...LOL not that I need to worry...I just checked and there is no line at my front door.

Speaking of which...I would love just love to have someone drive to MY house, ring MY doorbell and take me in HIS car...to our evening events. To me...that would be the first green flag. The second it if he opened the car door for me and closed it once I was inside. WOW...that would be amazing!!!!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Princess4u

Well I love the idea of OSOF...I cherish that...just never had it...I have had horrible blind dates..so I am leary...But for the most part...I second Gemme...you hit the nail on the head so to speak.

I do wonder about the topic of disclosing too much too soon...how much is too much? I mean if you feel the chemistry when is too soon? Perhaps the second date? I ponder this so often...LOL not that I need to worry...I just checked and there is no line at my front door.

Speaking of which...I would love just love to have someone drive to MY house, ring MY doorbell and take me in HIS car...to our evening events. To me...that would be the first green flag. The second it if he opened the car door for me and closed it once I was inside. WOW...that would be amazing!!!!

For me, for the first date (especially if it's a blind date), I don't want them to know where I live. Too many *insert Psycho theme music here* types out there. Meeting at the restaurant is fine with me until I am more comfortable with them.

Ah, the car test. Well, don't fail the femme car test. As he walks around to his side of the car, lean over and unlock it for him and...if you can...push it open for him.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Gemme

[B][SIZE="3"][COLOR="YellowGreen"]
Red flags:
Giving me a list of all of your faults and/or issues and/or medications you are on and/or how much time you've spent behind bars...unless you are trying to run me off (a simple "this has been nice, but I must leave now" would work too)....revealing too much too soon is something that I struggle with so if there are two of us doing it, it's going to be a disaster from the word go.

Lacking the ability to dress oneself well and/or perform at least general hygiene routines and/or being rude to the waitstaff .....

kind of a given, isn't it?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Jet

kind of a given, isn't it?

One might think so, but then, one would be wrong.

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by Gemme

For me, for the first date (especially if it's a blind date), I don't want them to know where I live. Too many *insert Psycho theme music here* types out there. Meeting at the restaurant is fine with me until I am more comfortable with them.

Ah, the car test. Well, don't fail the femme car test. As he walks around to his side of the car, lean over and unlock it for him and...if you can...push it open for him.

Well I suppose I was referring more to someone I have met in person. Not so sure I would do the blind date thing every again...too many bad experiences. Softness, I loved the dozen roses sent to the house before he arrived for the date...wow..I would love that style too!!

And but of course....is he opens my door...I would open his....it goes both ways ya know...its not all about him doing for her...its about mutual respect and giving as much as he does and visa versa....

As for the asking him for a date...wow...I have pondered that question...and to be honest..I know we should be more "with the times" but I am old fashioned and even more honestly...I wouldnt even know how, who, or what to ask! But I know that the fella feel just as uncomfortable as we do when asking someone out on a date. Much more to ponder on this topic for me at least.!!!

[Soft*Silver]

My style is not to ask the guy out. Instead, I might offer him a reason to come over. Maybe my light bulb needs changing in my overhead light. Don't laugh! I really cant do that on my own because I cant climb on step stools...I get quite dizzy. Or could he take down my storm windows? For his kindness I would insist upon making him dinner..his choice, whatever is his favorite meal. Or, maybe I would ask his opinion on something..like what kind of car tires I should buy or what computer system would be best for me. I might ask him to come along.... my purpose is t fohreeld: One: I must truly need these things so his help would indeed be beneficial to me and Two: it opens the door for him to consider spending more time with me if he so is inclined to want this and Three: Doing something small and industrial together gives me time to spend with him without the stress of it being a date. I get nervous on dates sometimes, so this helps.

ok...here is another question. Most of my family and friends know I am a lesbian. (Or something, not just conformingly straight.) So when i am out with a guy who happens to be FtM, and I run into someone, sometimes they are a bit shocked. Later they will ask me why I am dating a guy. And this puts me in a unusual quandry. The FtMs I have dated do not want to pass as men. They ARE men. Its not my place to explain his experience. Have you encountered this? How did you handle it? In my situations, I have just shrugged it off and said I am what I am no matter who I am with. In other words, I kept the focus on me and not on my date.

[morningstar55]

[CENTER]

morning singles.....

[Liam]

I am enjoying reading the posts.

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by Liam

I am enjoying reading the posts.

I am enjoying you reading the posts....

[Soft*Silver]

For the guys:so the lady you are interested in, bumps into you at the store. You notice she has beets in her grocery cart...what could you say to her to engage her in conversation?

For the girls: you are in line at the bookstore and you see he has two magazines and a CD in his hand...go for it...tell me what you say as a opener?

[DaddyDoc]

Just droppin in . I am single, not really looking for someone to date at this point.

I am interested in making friends, and meeting new people, none of which I have really done since moving to Texas, maybe go out to dinner, to the beach, etc.